CEO, Lever Training Ltd

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What 10 things do I tell my children that will make them better people and value society?

We all grow up with advice, either receiving it or giving it. But some advice stays with us and helps to shape us. As a parent of young children, I want to give them advice that will reflect on the way they live their life and support them through the good times and the not so good times. What advice did you receive that has stayed with you and shaped you. Lets see if we can get a list of 10 pieces of advice to pass on.

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    Sep 14 2011: 10 things that I think make better people:
    1) Listening
    2) thinking before you speak
    3) Sharing
    4) Flexibility
    5) Curiousity
    6) Ability to delay gratification
    7) Sincerity
    8) Hope
    9) Dreams
    10) A sense of humour
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    Sep 13 2011: This is a great question, it is actually very timely I came across this about Ghandi, in a letter to his grandson soon before dying he gave him the seven blunders of the world:

    "The Seven Blunders of the World is a list that Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi gave to his grandson Arun Gandhi, written on a piece of paper, on their final day together, shortly before his assassination.[1] The seven blunders are:

    Wealth without work.
    Pleasure without conscience.
    Knowledge without character.
    Commerce without morality.
    Science without humanity.
    Worship without sacrifice.
    Politics without principle."

    Ultimately I think it comes down to core values though, how will your children find theirs. My old man taught me that you cannot something that is all good or something that is all bad, because truth is darkness and light.
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    Sep 20 2011: Ten things I want to teach my future kids:
    - Never compromise who you are and what you stand for, for the sake of pleasing others.
    - When frustrated and confused, then, instead of yelling and screaming or hiding with your gloom, take some time for your self with physical or creative activity.
    - Talk little, listen much.
    - Every story has more than one side to it.
    - Always take the information you're given up to further investigation with your own reason.
    - Talk things over with your reflection.
    - It doesn't matter who started it, I'm stopping it.
    - Respect others' personal space.
    - Be polite.
    It doesn't matter where you come from, what matters is where you're going.

    All of these are perfectly up for moderation and consideration, since I'm not having children in the near future.
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      Sep 20 2011: What a terrific list!
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        Sep 20 2011: Thank you! I accidentally made 11 points. However... I think I'd just rewrite two points into one with *Respect others' personal space and be polite
  • Sep 20 2011: Can I take this opportunity to thank everyone for taking part and posting their thoughts on this question. The posting will end in a few hours. I was very nervous posting this, my first question, but you have all made the experience very worthwhile.Infact I have aposted another question 'live' at the moment and hope to continue contributing to TED and develop my association with you all.

    I sat with my daughter (7) the other evening looking through the threads and we had a really nice discussion around what we were reading. Her list contains just one. She wants to be happy.

    So, I have tried to bring our thoughts togetherin to a list that I can take with me and I hope you don't mnd my attempt.

    1) No matter what you do, be positve and do it for your own satisfaction.
    2) Never compromise who you are and what you stand for, for the sake of pleasing others (CCB) Your friends right now won't be forever, so whatever you do just remember to do what's best for you. (BC)
    3) Be honest and ethical in most circumstances (ZD) whilst respecting others (CCB)
    4) Love others, show compassion, sincerity and foregiveness (DS , JK)
    5) We are what we think. So grow positive thinking (Ps)
    6) Be happy with little things and not pursue much materialistic rewards(ZS).Often the little things are the most important
    7) Seek the truth, prepare to listen.(DS)
    8) Find the humour in life. (DS)
    9) Don't be afraid to cry (WR)
    10) Never give up on what you value, your hopes and your dreams (WH, WR & DS)

    Thanks again to you all.
  • Sep 16 2011: I see some great things posted and I would add the following:

    - teach your kids to think positively (i.e. be happy with little things and not pursue much materialistic rewards)

    - be honest and ethical in most circumstances

  • Sep 14 2011: God
    Love yourself
    Love others
    Protect those who are bullied
    And there are so many more! Think what's good.
  • Sep 15 2011: My mom always told me "You have no friends, and the ones you think are your friends right now won't be forever, so whatever you do just remember to do what's best for you."
  • Sep 15 2011: We are what we see in others. So stop blaming.

    We are what we think. So grow positive thinking.

    Pride hurts more than fire.

    Jealousy drowns us. It can be overcome by helping. So start helping. help More , when you are more jealous. But dont feel proud when you help, as pride hurts more than fire. When you are hurt, you feel pity about yourself, Then you will start comparing with others, Again, this will create jealousy which will drown you. Pride+Jealousy = hurts as well as drowns you.

    Pride >> Hurts Like Fire >> Creates SYmpathy >> Starts comparing and Jealousy >> Drowns you or burns you
  • Sep 14 2011: Thankyou for the comments so far. 'The seven blunders' highlighted by William, suggest that this is a good starting point as to what not to do rather than what to do and therefore the advice we could group under these areas. Interstingly the word 'values' undrpins alot of our advice and the way that our behaviours develop. Thanks to James and Debra for strating to identify core titles. I bet at the end of this discussion we can put together a really good TED10!