This conversation is closed. Start a new conversation
or join one »
What are your proven techniques for fighting depression?
Martin Seligman is the father of Positive Psychology is also the person who coined the phrase "learned helplessness'. His new book 'Flourish' is full of information for improving well being.
One of his proven therapies is the following:
Each night before bed write down three things that went well that day. After you write each, add a brief reason for why it went well and what that particular positive experience meant to you.
Who will try to do this each night for a month? Proven clinical studies indicate that those who try this practice can dramatically decrease their feelings of depression and enjoy a greater sense of well being. (It might be more permanent and more effective than either drugs or therapy!) Let's see if we can raise the well being level of TEDsters!
Lynda Wise
SOURCE: http://www.livestrong.com/article/14707-overcoming-helplessness/
Lynda Wise
Lynda Wise
Debra Smith 200+
Lynda Wise
Anne ONEILL
Bob Van Oosterhout 20+
The term “love ourselves” can easily draw us into self-centeredness which is the opposite direction from love. It is much clearer to simply focus on realizing and developing our gifts and potential. If you are referring to self-esteem, there is no reliable evidence that trying to improve self-esteem improves one’s quality of life or relationships. A study of a wide range of groups populations found that the two with the highest reported levels of self-esteem were prisoners and gang members.
The nature of love is to grow and expand. It is bigger than the self.
Regarding your second comment, "I'm afraid you may be setting some folks up for disappointment, and maybe more depression" disappointment in love comes from expectations. To the extent we are grounded, in balance, and seeing clearly (thus removing some of the primary obstacles to love) our expectations will be more in line with what is real and possible. There is always risk of hurt or sadness in love but feeling sad or hurt does not lead to depression unless we try to stifle that feeling or feed it by recycling thoughts of blame, judgment, resentment or other negativity.
Colleen Steen 500+
I totally agree that love is part of our nature which brings meaning, purpose and fulfillment to our lives.
The experience of loving ourselves can only draw us into self-centeredness if we are not truly aware of our authentic self. Realizing and developing our gifts and potential, is part of loving and accepting ourselves, which all builds our own self-esteem and improves one's quality of life and relationships.
I suggest that the study you refer to indicating the two groups with the highest reported levels of self-esteem were prisoners and gang members may be flawed a bit. After working with incarcerated men for 6 years, viewing their files, having 1 on 1 and group sessions with them, attending many educational sessions discussing this issue, I learned that they may play the role of confident, tough guys, but in their hearts, they are usually wounded children. No one with true authentic confidence/self esteem would be living a life of crime, which violates other people.
I agree..."disappointment in love comes from expectations", and when "we are grounded, in balance and seeing clearly...our expectations will be more in line with what is real and possible". Feeling sad or hurt CAN lead to depression when we feed it by recycling thoughts of blame, judgment, resentment or other negativity, which is why it is not such a good idea to depend on someone else to give us what we may be seeking in ourselves. I've been there...done it...and thankfully learned:>)
biped since1991
i have tried to start a conversation on just that, its closed now.
http://www.ted.com/conversations/4959/narcissism_a_means_to_self_pr.html
but now that Colleen Steen is here, :) i see very little point in adding much more.
the words of a twenty year old are a lot less compelling than that of someone with 65 years of experience. even if our premise holds similar values. :)
Colleen Steen 500+
Our thoughts, feelings, ideas, opinions and perspectives are all as valuable, no matter what age we are:>) I appreciate and respect your contributions on TED:>)
I agree with you that we often misunderstand self-esteem or self-love, and too often it is percieved as selfish or self centered. I honestly don't believe that we can give something to others that we do not have in ourselves. So loving ourselves, which includes respecting, accepting, trusting, being kind and compassionate with ourselves are important to give to ourselves as well as giving these gifts to others.
Leila Oicles
The experience changed me. I did not overcome my hardships over night, but I was well on my way, and I was stronger. I am not afraid, and if I do get a panic attack, which is once in a great while. I deal with it, and move on. I don't allow myself to get back into the depths. I have a belief that no matter what happens, I know that in the grand scheme of it all, I am OK and all is well.
To me, I don't see it as fighting depression, for fighting is exhaustive. I suppose in order to overcome, I had to stop fighting and pushing against, and rather refocus in the closest direction that provides relief. Always remaining true and authentic to what I feel instead of what others think is best or right. I can't say it is what will work for everyone, but it was best for me.
Kate Blake 50+
I have meet true humility and unconditional love from several others - pray that you know this experience soon.
PS added you to my list of 'friends' ...
Leila Oicles
Oh I hope I didn't sound as if I have never met anyone that expessed humility or spiritual love. I most certainly have. I think perhaps in moments even some of the most ego driven could feel it or express it. Some more often than others :) I suppose I was thinking of humility in its pure form, and unconditional love is another, I feel is only an attribute of God in its pure form. I think more on the mirror analogy from the previous converstion you commented on. That we can reflect this, but our mirrors our not always the cleanest...it can still reflect, but often not in its purest form.
Of course this is just my view, doesn't make it the purest form of truth! :)
Kate Blake 50+
Would God/ higher being or goodness be within each and every one of us?
Why would an all pervading all knowing being be external or separate to us?
Why wouldn't it be your own Godliness or Goodness within your heart writing that letter, sincerely?
Maybe we should be polishing our 'windows' to let the love and light shine out?
Thanks for making me think!
Leila Oicles
Replying to your mirror/window question. If we want to get a bit deep here in this analogy, well, I am all for it! The way i see it is that bodies are temporary, all the organs, brain etc. I see us more like a radio in which we pick up frequencies ect. The soul is eternal and non physical. The soul is of more pure form, as the physical is more limitied and designed that way. We are filters, but not pure filters, because our language and perception is so limited in comparison to the ultimate Love, and Truth and Unconditional Love. I don't think any human has the intelligence or capacity to understand the grand scheme of it all the way our souls can. I also believe our souls could not fully know God either, but are closer than we understand in our limited physical existence. God, i feel, is the All.
Now the beauty of physical existence, is that we have polar opposites, a way in which to understand Love. If all we knew and all we were was Love, then we wouldn't appreciate it if we didn't know that which is fear or anger or hurt, etc. So I suppose I see it as using our minds, thoughts, actions as a way of either polishing or allowing build up on our mirrors. God is always shining on everyone, even one who's mirror is so dirty that it cannot reflect his light, but God still shines ready fo rwhen a person chooses to clean ones own mirror. He loves all his chilren, it is we that chooses to allow the Love, or only some of it, or barely at all. Mirrors can still be dirty and reflect, maybe a bit distorted, but there is still warmth of love and light visable.
I remember listening to Ester Hicks, or Abraham-Hicks as she is often referred to, and she came closest to what feels right to me about our relationship with God, or "Souce" as she calls it. She says there only exists a stream of well being, and we can chose to flow with the stream or peddle upstream. That our emotions are our guidance systems telling us when we are on or off track.
Michael M 30+
Bob Van Oosterhout 20+
Debra Smith 200+
Colleen Steen 500+
Leila Oicles
Human beings can only take so much stress. This is not our natural flow, and there is moments or a moment where one has to say "I can't live like this any more" it is the choices and direction we go from that crucial point that makes the difference. It is easy to say that laughing or writing great things is the cure, but when you are in a bit deep, finding that place is quite difficult. It feels foreign and unauthentic, so somehow one needs to find relief in a way you can believe and relate to. I had to find relief in any way shape or form I could find it (such as anger as it felt better than fear or feeling worthless), then go from there and so on. The key for me was to look towards hope, to find hope.
I looked for solutions on panic attacks, and I faced it head on. I had nothing to lose and anything to gain. I wrote a lot, I had done the self pity,anger, the apologizing, the crying...and eventually began to see hope in my search, even in a song, or a poem....
Colleen Steen 500+
Amily shaw 10+
I would think to develop meaningful relationships is vital cuz many studies shows that people who seeks counseling help consider the relationships between them and therapists the most healing part no matter what schools of therapy they use.(as i would often think to myself, in relationhsips we get stuck and in relationships we get healed)
Debra Smith 200+
Comment deleted
Renzo Bruni
Comment deleted
Renzo Bruni
(smiling).
Salim Solaiman 50+
To get rid of bout of one or the other blues, I just try to make fun...... talk or meet my school / university buddies with whom have lot of funny memories (thats one of the best energizers I found)...... watch a funny movie........go to places I like ........etc etc
Debra Smith 200+
denise rhodes
Christophe Cop 500+
- medication
- meditation
- cognitive behavioral therapy
those are the scientifically proven things that can help (fight) depression.
As for preventing depression... I don't really know for sure, but I would suggest:
- avoid big changes in life (they are stress-full and can trigger depression)
- learn coping strategies (like meditation or thought-patterns, acceptance, Zimbardo-advise on time orientation, don't expect too much,...)
- avoid depressed people (tend to have an emotional contamination effect; is documented in burn-out, not sure about depression)
- check your genetic sensitivity for depression
- get contingency on life (locus of control = you)
- attach yourself to significant others
Bob Van Oosterhout 20+
Debra Smith 200+
Bob Van Oosterhout 20+
Bob Van Oosterhout 20+
I noted the difference between depression and feeling sad and discouraged in a previous post.
I believe there are five primary factors that contribute to depression: 1)a misunderstanding of the nature of emotion and the belief that experiencing emotion and crying is inappropriate or a sign of weakness; 2) Difficulty accepting pain; 3) High stress; 4) Exhaustion and/or 5) A lack of meaning or purpose in life.
Note that I did not mention chemical imbalances even though that is the primary focus of treatment. My impression is that our understanding of the brain, and specifically brain chemicals is at a preliminary hypothesis stage. We know very little about the specific make up or amounts of brain chemicals and even less about how they interact with our complex brain structures. We know virtually nothing about individual differences in brain chemicals and structures. I would equate our current level of understanding of brain chemistry with what we know from orbiters and probes sent to distant planets.
Depression is not caused by a personal weakness or deficit, nor is it any kind of sin (sin requires intent - no one would intend to become depressed) I see it as an unfortunate side effect of a high-stress, materialistic culture which overwhelms us with stimulation and pressure while sending a message that pain and emotion are something that must be “fought,” resisted, and overcome.
Bob Van Oosterhout 20+
Depression results from a build-up muscle tension and imbalance in the autonomic nervous system caused by one or more of the above factors. (Emotion involves slight muscle movement in various muscle groups. We inhibit the experience of emotion and stop crying by tensing various muscles and holding our breath). The human mind interprets this tension build-up as evidence of a potential threat which narrows our focus and leads us to think about on “what’s wrong?.” (These are natural, survival reactions.) The problem is that negative thinking creates additional muscle tension, which further narrows our focus on the negative, creating still more tension in a self-escalating spiral.
This process saps our energy, diminishes our ability to rest and recover and blocks our ability to fully experience emotion. The negative thinking often takes the form of self-blame or judgment which draws attention to deficits and makes us more self-centered. This also deepens the roots described above.
Recovery from depression occurs when 1)built up tension is resolved; 2)factors contributing to it are addressed (see above) and, 3)the mind is trained to redirect thinking away from negative thoughts.
Debra Smith 200+
Bob Van Oosterhout 20+
Love is a commitment to the best interests of another, a decision to support him/her in developing their gifts and realizing their potential.
Love embraces hope, depression is dominated by fear. Love accepts risk and embraces life - Depression avoids risk and resists life. Depression makes us defensive - Love makes us compassionate. Depression makes us more self-centered - love focus on the other. Depression involves fighting or resisting pain - love accepts pain as part of the package. Love involves opening - depression tends to close us off. Love takes responsibility and leads to clear action - depression gets us stuck in blame, resentment and “should” while leading to immobility.
Bottom line: The solution to depression is love. Remove the obstacles to love and you see recovery from depression.
Colleen Steen 500+
You've provided some good information in your 3 previous posts.
You say "Love is a commitment to the best interests of ANOTHER...a decision to support him/her in developing THEIR gifts and realizing THEIR potential". You also state that "love focus on the OTHER"? It sounds like you are focusing on love of another to avoid depression? How about if we love ourselves rather than, or in addition to, depending on "another" to lead us, or keep us out of the state of depression?
I agree...remove the obstacles to love and you may see recovery from depression. Loving ourselves is a good place to start removing the obstacles to love, and if you're suggesting love of "another", to avoid depression, I'm afraid you may be setting some folks up for disappointment, and maybe more depression.
dinni tresnadewi
Jason Hinchliffe
But seriously, when it comes to depression, I think a big part of the problem is we feel there is something wrong with it. I think a big problem is we carry unrealistic expectations, and when those expectations fail to be met, we can get depressed. It's been demonstrated that people tend to have overly optimistic viewpoints about the likely outcomes of situations.
So I suppose in summation, that rather than forcibly look on the bright side, I might be better served to practice tempering my expectations, and learning to take joy in the things I do have. When I last checked, I'm in the top 5% of living standards globally, so I really don't have much to complain about personally.
Shokrullah Amiri 10+
Rafi Amin 20+
Debra Smith 200+
I wish everyone a good laugh!
Kristofer Björnson 10+
Debra Smith 200+
Colleen Steen 500+
I agree that acceptance is a big part of the process.
This has helped me over and over again in my quest for "flow" in my life.
"Grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference"
I observe that sometimes people are depressed about something they cannot change, or something that feels overwhelming. It's important to know our "self" enough to be able to figure out what we have the power to change...or not. There is no point in spending our energy struggling with something that we cannot change.
This is where your good ideas of considering what we enjoy...determine our goals...reality check...change goals and habits...take time to evaluate ourseves and be fully engaged in the choices we make comes into play. We may not be able to change the circumstances that seem to cause the depression, but we CAN change our perception of the circumstances.
Nicholas Lukowiak 50+
Debra Smith 200+
Nicholas Lukowiak 50+
Kate Blake 50+
Colleen Steen 500+
The book mentioned..."FLOW", by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi is a good one.
I also like the reference to gratitude and how important it is in our quest for contentment. It's important to savor even small pleasures, and that builds a good foundation in our mind and heart from which we can "flow":>)
Julie Ann 10+
Debra Smith 200+
Colleen Steen 500+
In addition to the breathing, the more aligned posture also facilitates the "flow" of energy through our body.
Smiling changes the chemistry of the body/mind which helps facilitate healing. I usually wear a smile, and sometimes when I'm not feeling great, I smile in the mirror, and the person in the mirror smiles back:>)
As you insightfully say, all of these small practices can contribute to moving us through challenging feelings, and the long term solution is to address the cause of the depression. If we embrace many little practices, in our every day lives, perhaps we can move through the feelings and emotions that sometimes lead to depression?
Julie Ann 10+
Bob Van Oosterhout 20+
What works to resolve depression, consistently in my experience (35 years Masters level license in Social Work and Psychology) is to breathe fully and deeply without holding, stop tensing, accept normal emotion without resistance (all emotion is normal in my experience), and learn to break up mental habits of resentment, blame, “should” and other negative thoughts that interfere with solving problems while learning to shift perceptions and see a larger picture more clearly.
I have made some videos for my students that explain this process in more detail.
http://exp.lcc.edu/users/bobv/weblog/dd6c6/Understanding_Emotion.html
http://exp.lcc.edu/users/bobv/weblog/edab7/Clearing_Your_Mind.html
additional related videos are available at http://www.bobvanoosterhout.com/id113.html
Debra Smith 200+
Thanks for distinguishing between the blues and depression. Depression is a serious condition that many wrestle with and have trouble finding relief. Thanks for the generous sharing of your links!
Colleen Steen 500+
My "thought focusing" or "rhythm phrase" (literally) after the head injury, was the song "Accentuate the Positive, Eliminate the Negative"....great song! Since I was a performing artist prior to the injury, the song usually led into singing up a storm, dancing and laughing at myself to the best of my ability at any given time. What we focus on expands:>)
Eun A Jo 10+
Debra Smith 200+
Eun A Jo 10+
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00nzytf
Debra Smith 200+
Muhammad Aizat Zainal Alam 30+
Kate Blake 50+
Where to start ... maybe some people do not know that coffee, alcohol and other 'medications' are actually Depressants. So if you are feeling down best to avoid any of these, herbal teas are good!
To summarise so far; Sing a song, smile, be aware of living in the here and now; keep a diary; call a friend; prayer; meditate; keep a positive focus ... all very worthwhile suggestions.
To add watch a comedy, releases your endorphins and also more sunshine directly on your skin has similar effect. Wholesome diet, regular exercise and sufficient sleep are also essential.
One wise sage said that 'depression' is a very selfish indulgence ... contributers below have already referred to this! Why selfish because it is totally self-consuming, so another suggestion would be to get out and get involved with helping others .... this is essential to keeping a healthy balance when you realise that so many others are worse off than you!
See this conversation for loads of interesting free and easy ideas to start!
http://www.ted.com/conversations/4755/without_spending_money_how_ca.html
Colleen Steen 500+
Very wise suggestions:>) It's important to know what we are putting in the body and how it impacts our physical and mental health. While some things like coffee and alcohol have sedating properties, they also have stimulants. It may appear that alcohol "relaxes", a person, and it also has stimulants that kick in later, interfereing with sleep. Good sleep patterns are important for physical and mental well-being, as you mention:>) The body recharges/re-energizes during sleep, so if we are not sleeping well, we deprive the body/mind of that opportunity.
Depression often is a self-consuming downword spiral. We feel bad, so it causes us to be inactive. Our focus on our "depression" may cause us to eat and drink foods/beverages, and take medications that cause more imbalance with our health...then we feel worse...more inactivity...more self-consuming practices...on and on. All it takes sometimes, is one little choice that will break that cycle, and you've offered some good choices Kate...one step at a time:>)
Kate Blake 50+
How to motivate yourself out of that spiral is the one thing only YOU know how to do? [those in it, not you Colleen]
Shokrullah's idea of the gym workout is great. Another friend finds a daily regime of yoga, meditation and Billy Connolly videos keeps him off medications for very serious PTSD! Not my choice of comedy but whatever it takes, then do it!
Colleen Steen 500+
Rest assured, I have had the opportunity to call myself "depressed", and I have made the choice to move out of the sadness that caused that feeling. Although sadness is a valuable tool to help us know our "self", I did not/do not choose to stay with, or focus on the feeling of sadness, and I do not use the word "depressed" for myself, because of the power we have given the word and the feeling in our society.
I really believe, that on a deeper level, people KNOW they are giving up the choice for contentment in their lives, and they do not know how to interrupt that cycle, which causes more depression than we need to have in our society.
Here's a practical example:
Today I have a head ache, which I often have because of a near fatal head injury years ago. I also have pain in the back, caused by degenerative disc disease, which was diagnosed 30 years ago. I have the choice to lay in bed all day and take medications...or...do something else.
I'm going biking with friends...spending time with people I care about...exercising...laughing...and soaking up the sun, which is energizing:>)
Usually, the head ache and back pain take a back seat:>)
Kate Blake 50+
Colleen Steen 500+
"Knowing ourselves" is such an important part of life:>)
Although I feel that medications are way over used in our culture, I also believe they are very valuable tools when used appropriately and in conjunction with other methods and practices, some of which you and others have shared in these comments:>)
Brooke Kahn
Colleen Steen 500+
Tim blackburn 30+
Debra Smith 200+
Colleen Steen 500+
It is a choice. Of course there is clinical depression, where the chemical imbalance in the body/mind may cause us to be ill equipped to deal with certain emotions. But generally, what people are calling depression, is an opportunity to learn about ourselves.
I've mentioned this before on TED, and I'll quote it again because it is relevant to the topic....
Ernest Holmes in "Science of Mind" states: "One of the great difficulties in the new order of thought is that we are likely to indulge in too much theory and too little practice". We try so hard to figure things out logically, that we lose touch with some very basic ideas. It's like Luigi says...sing a song...get some fresh air...be alive and content in the moment.
I was at the local library today, and overheard a lovely young girl talking on her cell phone. She was sitting among thousands of interesting books, and saying to her friend on the other end of the phone..."I am so f........ bored...there is NOTHING to do this summer...I'm depressed.
I had just been out in the gardens on a beautiful summer day, and getting a new book to read this evening...how perfect is that? And this young, attractive, healthy person was sitting in the midst of thousands of books, saying she was bored!!! It's a choice!
21 years ago, when my mother and father died, I was ending a 24 year marriage, diagnosed with cancer, and sustained a near fatal head injury, I focused on the good things that were happening...I walked five more steps today, than I did yesterday...that's progress. I did not deny the sadness, frustration, and overwhelming challenge that I faced. I focused on the positive things that were happening...my wonderful encouraging, loving friends and family...the sun is out today....I walked one more step today, than yesterday.
We don't need to "drag our focus" in any direction Debra. There is ALWAYS something to focus on that may bring us to another level of understanding and learning in our "self".
Luigi Vampa
Whay dont throw to the garbich can all that theories and live well? ...you are the most rich countries and the most powerfull gobernements and you have a very high standard of deppression.
We in Italy have the richest life and the nicest human relationship (well in Europe and Mexico too).
Debra Smith 200+
Luigi Vampa
Colleen Steen 500+
The suggestion from the book...helping us to focus on what is going right - a first step on the road..."
Time for the next step...do it:>)
I agree Luigi,
Rome is just a spot in the whole earth...beautiful...and the real thing is in the inner place to live:>) Sounds like Italians are much like the Irish...or maybe like ALL people? Those of us who choose to, live in that "inner place...believe in love...empathy...joy...want and need all that we have...love...sunny afternoons...wine...life...Carpe Diem:>)
Luigi Vampa
Irish are the same than latins but a littlemore northern people. Ireland has an extremly rich history in the civilization development. And all they are the same than us. All the humans are the same but the cultures are different. The southern cultures are in sun, joy, dance and smile. Step by step we can begin a dance of happines. Without any technique. Just love.
Colleen Steen 500+
We are all more the same than different:>) You definitly have more sun in your area than I do in north east USA, and I think the sun is very energizing:>)
There's a good book written by a Vermonter...Thom Hartmann..."The Last Hours of Ancient Sunlight"..."waking up to personal and global transformation".
Actually, Vermont is second in line for the state with the most precipitation. Historically, we have a high rate of suicides, alchoholism, and now SAD (seasonal affect disorder). Personally, I use the rainy/snowy/hail/sleeting days to curl up with a good book, visit friends, do chores, talk on TED, etc:>) I take vitimin D in the winter, when we see less sun, and when the sun is out...I'm there with it!!! I think we can do "a dance of happiness" wherever we are at any given moment, whether it's in a physical "place", or a "place" in ourselves.
Luigi Vampa
Michael M 30+
Luigi Vampa
Debra Smith 200+
Nothing better than love to banish depression!
Tim blackburn 30+
diet
sleep
and meditation can all be dramaticly effective against mild to moderate depression.
over the counter supplements like st. john wart and 5-htp can help mild depressin, from what i hear, i would research before usuing though.
Debra Smith 200+
What do you think of the idea of focusing on what is going right?
Another suggestion that Seligman puts forward in his new book Flourish is the idea of writing a letter to someone who has done you a good turn or made a significant contribution to your life a letter. He asks that we write the letter and then make a point of visiting the person to read it to them. Finally, observing their reaction can be very uplifting elevating mood significantly for at least a month.
Tim blackburn 30+