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The Erroneous Methods of Asian Parenting: How Asian Parents Cause their Children to be Meek
Let's start off with a quick anecdote:
It's a month from college and I am in the car ride home from attending a church I don't believe in. Parents do not know that I am a disbeliever nor will they find out less I tell them. However, I will not tell them until I am in college where I will be living off of loans until I can find a solid job. Why? My parents would cut off any financial support the moment they knew. I wouldn't have anything to eat or anywhere to live. Not to mention they would be take back everything they would ever give me. I'm a computer science major so I would need my laptop. With only a month left, it would be foolish to upset the status quo and lose some helpful resources (talking about the laptop here).
I may sound like an angry child but I'm going to point out some major points here. With the anecdote above as an example, I feel as though my parents--Asian parents--limit my opinions. They force this through several fallacious techniques that leads to lifelong adverse effects that are hard to break without the right friends and experiences.
A typical argument technique revolves around three recurring elements to instill and vindicate their delusive logic:
1. Respect: all counterexamples are null and are considered disrespectful.
2. War/opportunity: in the past, certain ideologies were valid; those values must be valid today.
3. Threats: opposition means no food or privileges.
All of this (and more that I have not listed due to character restrictions) will produce a child who is afraid to voice their thoughts and feeling. Thus growing into a damage person that is socially awkward and perceived as meek and quiet. Lacking those crucial communication skills, it becomes hard for these kids to make friends. A never-ending cycle.
Share your thoughts, opinions, rebuttals, etc.
Off-topic: It might also be why Asian children are so terrible at English.
Mel Martin
I think your overall concern is that absolutism does not make for a thriving childhood. Creativity is stifled, along with necessary skills of communication and self-confidence (as you state). I completely agree with you. I also believe that strong-arming a child's belief system by withholding basic life essentials is a form of abuse/neglect. If you're in college, however, you should have a bit more freedom-of-movement and decision making.
I'm familiar with the Asian culture and its harsh expectations. My mom (Chinese) was more or less ex-communicated for marrying and having kids with a white guy from America. Time and fundamental family ties (of unconditional love), however, eventually iron out the wrinkles. You will be just fine.