Rafi Amin

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How did you get rid of your bad habit ? Please share so others are also helped.

(I editted the title question just to attract people share their bad habits & how did they get rid of it.)

We might be used to so many bad habits that it not only costing us in monetery terms but it also affects our health, sometime even affects others & it realy damages our personality.

Examples, Smoking, Too much drinking, talking angerily or even the worst case drug addict or anything you think is bad habit.

You can share your ideas on how to get rid of it.

You can also share any bad habit you had & what did you do to get rid off it. You may also share any habit that you want to share with others & seek help to get rid off it.

Lets help each other.

  • Jun 30 2011: A pessimistic attitude is a bad habit I used to have for about 5 years.

    For a start, I would listen to music I really liked that was slow and had a fairly peaceful or relaxing feel to it. At the same time I would stop listening to darker music like in the Black Metal genre.

    Throughout the day I would focus on just letting the muscles in all of my body (especially facial muscles) relax and use as little energy possible. Keep in mind that achieving a relaxed state of mind (or even any desirable state of mind) isn't something you can FORCE. For someone that is constantly feeling stressed, angry, or fatigued, they must realize that to become relaxed they must ANTICIPATE relaxation and let it come. Don't let your "Mind's Ears" tell you you're relaxed, FEEL it.

    With regards to any kind of work whether it be a change in lifestyle, a hobby, your career, or caring for your family, it's important to note that WORK doesn't induce stress for fatigue. It is the PERCEPTION of work that does. Changing one's perception isn't as difficult once you realize that 99% of the time your negative emotions have manifested illogically. When a growling dog runs up to a fence towards you every time you walk by but never actually jumps over, it would be natural to feel frightened for the split second you hear it bark if you didn't expect it. It would NOT be natural or logical to start feeling anxious before you see it, or to feel anxious for the next 5 minutes after you hear it aggressively barking at you.

    Over the next few days you may feel some tangible changes in your mind and body. Once momentum picks up in a positive direction, it will keep going unless you consciously choose to stop it.

    Getting started can be easier said than done if you don't know what works for you, or if you're too negative and stressed to effectively comprehend advice. Once started, continuing the change is literally easier done than said, for saying requires energy, while doing conserves and directs energy.
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    Jun 30 2011: I think we first have to acknowledge that the bad habits serve some purpose in our lives. Everybody 'sucks their thumb' in some way. If the problem is smoking, overeating etc. it is a pseudo way of meeting a need like comfort, anxiety control etc. Until you find a healthier way to meet that foundational need you probably will have trouble overcoming that bad habit. Dragging the reason out of your subconcioius and into the cold light of day can be difficult but with a little self reflection particularly about when you engage in the behaviour you can probably come face to face with it. When you can find a more valid way of meeting that need you might have a good shot at overcoming the habit.
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      Jun 30 2011: Great point I always find it's better to concentrate on starting a new healthy habit rather than beating myself up over a habit I wish to stop.
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        Jun 30 2011: Good point! Rather than spending energy trying to stop the unwanted habit/behavior, it is usually more beneficial to embrace the habit/behavior we want in our life. Fighting against something, struggling, and resisting simply gives it energy to exist. A habit/behavior is serving some purpose (usually ego), so if we can figure out how it is serving us, and replace it with something that serves us better, there is no need for the old habit/behavior to exist:>)

        I like to use the image of a basic belief in martial arts...come from the core with strength and yeild.
        When we know what habit/belief/behavior we want to embrace, we are coming from our core with strength. We yeild to the old habit, which simply goes away because it is no longer needed:>)
    • Jul 1 2011: All great points. Another thing to consider is that one shouldn't feel ashamed to be honest with oneself when searching for the root(s) of one's problems. Opening up to others can be difficult which is understandable, but you honestly have nothing to lose when looking inwards in search for personal demons. And give yourself some credit when you are able to do so because it can be a scary process... unless of course you're addicted to crystal meth because you were just fooling around with it and underestimated it's addictiveness.
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        Jul 2 2011: Daniel, nice addition. I thiink we all need to give people permission and encouragement to share their struggles BUT we all need to be worthy of their confidences as well.
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    Jul 14 2011: LACK OF CONFIDENCE.

    I dont know whether this comes under bad habit or whats so ever but I have never been able to conquer this.

    Though I have been very good with my achievements. I have always achieved good grades in school & now in university, I also have well paid job & good designation but when it comes to speak infront of people & give presenation I start to loose my confidence & I become very shaky. I dont know but I start thinking that I cant do it & slowly I start to get nervous & I cant speak well.

    What is your kind advise for me ?


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      Jul 14 2011: Dear Rafi,
      First of all, you don't need to try to "conquer", but rather, understand. To be afraid to speak in front of people & give presentations is very common. You have given yourself the answer in your comment above my friend...you say..."I start thinking that I can't do it & slowly I start to get nervous & can't speak well". When we think we cannot do it...guess what? We are programming our mind to not be able to do it well! Exchange the "I can't do it" thoughts, to "I CAN do it" thoughts:>) Every single time you think a thought that undermines your confidence in yourself, change the thought to one that BUILDS your confidence.

      I learned this lesson years ago when working with a very insightful director. When I started acting on stage, I got "stage fright" so bad that I was actually sick to my stomach just before a show began. Once I got on stage and into the character, I was fine, but before that it was horrible! This kind director percieved my challenge, and gave me some wonderful information. We have energy running through our body/mind and we can use the energy in different ways. We can program ourselves with our thoughts and words. The programming I gave myself was "I'm afraid to make a mistake...afraid to forget my lines or blocking...afraid I'm going to mess things up for the other actors"...on and on! I started changing the mind chatter to things like..."I can't wait to get out on stage...I've done my homework...am well rehearsed...put in the time and energy that will make this performance good...and even if I DO make a mistake, the audience doesn't know what is SUPPOSED" to happen anyway!!!! LOL :>)

      Rafi, my dear one, you may like to check out another talk..."Where do you think consciousness comes from". We are discussiog levels of consciousness, energy, programming the mind, etc:>)
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        Jul 14 2011: Hi Colleen,thank you very much for the advise. It looks greate to me.

        From now wards I will start thinking that I can do it rather than thinking that I cant do it.

        I will also check the conversation as you mentioned. Thanks again.
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    Jul 2 2011: Debra, I agree with your comments that every bad habit has a purpose/reason behind it. but in most cases the habits remains even after our problem is healed.Beside that.
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      Jul 4 2011: Hi Rafi, you make an excellent point but I would submit that at that point it is simply a matter of substituting the desired behaviour in its place. Intentionally practicing the new behaviour for one month should allow it to take root and replace the disfunctional behaviour.
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    Jun 30 2011: good to see that this is a problem even at such a remote part of the globe.

    can i get an email notification when the solution is found?
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      Jul 11 2011: A solution is found Krisztian!!!

      Just kidding...testing the new notification system:>)
      We got rid of our bad habit of not knowing when our comments were commented on...hooray!
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        Jul 12 2011: Hi Colleen,

        You look very happy. This is a very good habit.
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          Jul 12 2011: Thanks Rafi,
          I agree that happiness (I prefer to call it contentment) is a good habit, and facilitates the use and exploration of a lot of other good habits:>)
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    Jun 30 2011: Mr. Amin, to get rid of bad habits, we ignite our hearts and minds with clear purpose, vision and mission in life and sustain it with the right knowledge of true happiness empowered by true love. http://Bit.Ly/KeyPower
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    Jun 30 2011: I suffered from OCD for some time, and anxiety drives you to get these compulsions so it's kind of like a bad habit. I made my compulsions a 100 less severe in two years. Where before I'd have to deal with them for hours and hours each day. Now I deal with a few hours each week. Most days I'm normal.

    I'm still working on getting better, but the idea is to find a way to break the habit, and work on gradually breaking it. You gotta accept the limitations of your own body, with OCD your brain is misfiring, you can fight it as much as you want and in the beginning it will kick your ass. But you have to persist and you have tp have a lot of discipline. You can't just drop habits, you must have an organized plan of how you are gonna do it.
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      Jun 30 2011: Courageous and inspiring Budimir! Thanks for sharing your experience.
      For those who still struggle, many people can also get help for OCD with newer generation meds. The brain is simply an organ like a kidney only more complex and any such conditions should be dealt with without stigma.
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        Jun 30 2011: Thanks. I heard people are going to therapy and they are using meds. I tend to be very withdrawn so I don't talk about my problems and I never sought any help. But it probably would've been a lot easier to just take meds. I also didn't want to admit that there was something wrong with me so I stayed away from the idea of taking meds and sought natural ways to treat it. But now I might actually go for the meds.
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          Jul 2 2011: Hey Budimir! Just want to encourage you to see what there is available for you because we are talking about an organic problem just like a glitch anywhere else in the body. In my MA in Psychology we studied OCD and it is organic and thereby treatable. I wish for you an easier life and I do not think that there are significant problems with side effects with these med. Why carry a burden if you have a friend to help you?
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      Jul 2 2011: Budimir, BRAVE EFFORT. I,m sure you have enough guts to overcome this habit.
  • Jun 30 2011: Good and bad depends on our mind sort of viewing.Not only to get rid of bad or good before doing any work or any sort of thing.Make your mind calm and think about the work you are going to do for ten to twenty seconds.Then proceed with your work.This leads to success and also you get rid of bad habits.This is based on my personal experience......
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    Jun 30 2011: I'll be watching this conversation closely. So far I have no idea.
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      Jul 6 2011: Matthieu!

      |,m still waiting to get your thoughtful insight on the subject.
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        Jul 6 2011: I usually pursue a bad habit until it gets ridiculous and then I stop completely. Not the best of ways to get rid of a bad habit.

        I find what works though is, to avoid developing known bad habits like smoking and drinking, never to start. That seems to work for me.
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          Jul 7 2011: yeah. this is also helpful. thanks.
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          Jul 12 2011: Matthieu,
          You are a wise young man. Yes...what works best is avoid the bad habits to begin with! AND...simply stopping the use of a bad habit is an EXCELLENT way to change something.

          In order to achieve either of these goals, one has to be willing and able to evaluate oneself...what is important and not important to us and our pursuit of the life experience...which...BTW...I observe you doing a LOT:>) Kudos to you:>)
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          Jul 14 2011: Hi Colleen,Well advised I totally agree with you. Can you also help me one of bad habit I have got. I have mentioned it in a new comment above.