A conversation on TED.com: Are you comfortable with praise and thanks?

Kate Blake
Chandigarh
India

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TEDCRED 10+

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Are you comfortable with praise and thanks?

Do you readily give others praise?

Can you receive praise/compliments gracefully?

and say ‘thank you’ genuinely?

Related Talks:

Laura Trice suggests we all say thank you

Topics: Authenticity praise thanks

Closing Statement from Kate Blake

The diversity of responses would indicate that most people are not fully comfortable with praise or thanks ... none of them could satisfactorily explain why.

Which leaves me to wonder if we are more used to criticism and put-downs .. thus making me personally more determined to give more praise and thanks.

Come on give it a go? Feel the warm glow ...

Sort By:

Helen Hupe 20+
- 0
Jun 28 2011: I try to avoid situations that would require a Thanks from someone mostly because I have some friends that always say "Well, I owe you one" When I give it is not with the idea that I should receive thanks but I am quick to acknowledge graciouly, a favor someone has done for me. As for praise, I want none and I give none. My regard is expressed by by the expression of awe and agreeing with someone. Oh, if I am at a concert and have really been moved I have no problem with a standing ovation.
- Kate Blake 10+
  - 0
  Jun 30 2011: Genuine praise goes a long way ...
Bruno Deshayes
- +1
Jun 27 2011: People are quick to criticize but slow to acknowledge value. Yet again in a world of failures and depression any good news is worth applauding. People are more likely to act on your behalf rather than praise verbally ie - spreading your testimony, posting it to their social media friends as something worthy of note. As far as receiving thanks with good grace just look at a mom tirelessly caring for her child - a cuddle makes her day.
Comment deleted
Scott Armstrong 50+
- +1
Jun 26 2011: I do readily give praise.

Not so easy to accept it - depends on who it is coming from and whether I agree with their praise or not.
- anthony bruni 30+
  - +2
  Jun 26 2011: Accepting praise is difficult, but I think it is a sign of maturity to honestly and graciously accept it. We are tribal creatures at heart, who always want to belong. When we are reprimanded, part of the punishment is we are alienated from the group. However praise is also a form of alienation.
  - Kate Blake 10+
    
    0
    Jun 30 2011: How is praise a form of alienation? Maybe in a peer group where one might be trying to blend in, but I cannot think of any other reasons ... and why become one of many? You strike me as a man who can think and feel for himself.
    - anthony bruni 30+
      
      +1
      
      Jun 30 2011: Being above average, is as much not being average as being below. I think everyone has some instinct to blend in on some level, and we all have to negotiate how much we are going to let the herd influence us. These mix emotions of wanting to excel vs wanting to fit in is why people have trouble in my humble opinion to accept praise. Often people with tell a joke to reduce the tension, or just mumble something like "it was nothing" to diminish their separation from the pack. That is why I said it was a tell tale of maturity to accept praise in a sincere manor, because it does not come naturally.
      
      PS Thanks for the compliment at the end.
  - Kate Blake 10+
    
    0
    Jul 1 2011: thanks for explaining!