TED Conversations

Shawn James Jr.

intern, TED


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What do you guys say about bullying?

I just want to know what perspectives people have on the whole thing being as though it’s nothing new to us, but something that has been around for years and was just frowned upon. There is no wrong answer to this question. I just want to hear your input.


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    Jun 18 2011: I think bullying can be a very broad term and also depends a bit on how the person experiences it. I'm 15 myself and I know what it's like to be bullied. In my school (I'm Dutch) there's also something like unconsciously bullying going on. The people doing this do not really intend to bully but the victim does experience it that way. In my case, there are certain comments that some of my classmates like to repeat everyday just to see how I react, after which they all have to laugh. And of course than there are the cases when you're sitting in front of some people and behind you they start talking about you like you're not there. " Look at his/her hair, and she/he has such a stupid voice". It just makes me sad when i hear those things. Why? What is there for you to win by doing this?
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      Jun 19 2011: That is so true Koen...bullying IS a very broad term and also depends on how the person experiences it. You are wise to recognize so much about bullying, and that will help you a lot. What a bully thinks he/she "wins" is the superficial feeling of being "better" than the person they bully. They need to try to build their own self-esteem in the only way they know how, which, as you insightfully recognize, is not very productive.

      The best defense against bullying, in my perception, is knowing ourselves, and being confident with who and what we are. It is important to build relationships that are mutually empowering, and that doesn't always stop the bully from bullying, but it helps us know in ourselves that what they are saying doesn't apply to us.

      Think about the fact that the bullies you speak about have nothing better to do, than criticize someone's hair or voice? While here you are, on TED, discussing very important issues. They are probably jealous of you Koen, for being a wise, insightful, kind young man:>)

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