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Shawn James Jr.

intern, TED


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What do you guys say about bullying?

I just want to know what perspectives people have on the whole thing being as though it’s nothing new to us, but something that has been around for years and was just frowned upon. There is no wrong answer to this question. I just want to hear your input.


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    Jun 16 2011: In my opinion, the concept of ''bullying'' is great.
    Our society has created an image of negativity. That's why the victim feels hurt, because they now think they have done something wrong compared to a stereotypical image of perfect.
    Let's be honest, there will always be someone above another person. If you tell everyone their equal, you'd be lying. Competition is part of human nature. When a stronger figure confronts someone weaker. The ''victim'' will be driven to do better in whatever their weak in. That's why when you look at actions from bullied children, majority always want to hurt the bully back in some way. They want to defeat the top.

    If you keep nurturing these children, they will grow weak.
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      Jun 16 2011: We must define nurturing quite differently, Jacqueline.

      nur·ture (nûrchr)
      1. Something that nourishes; sustenance.
      2. The act of bringing up.
      3. Biology The sum of environmental influences and conditions acting on an organism.
      tr.v. nur·tured, nur·tur·ing, nur·tures
      1. To nourish; feed.
      2. To educate; train.
      3. To help grow or develop; cultivate: nurture a student's talent.

      It can be a demanding and competitive world without allowing people to beat the snot out of each other.
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        Jun 16 2011: Jacqueline,
        You are right..."competition is part of human nature". Do you honestly think that repeatedly hurting someone physically and/or emotionally is healthy competition? Do we want to "drive" kids to do better? Or would it be more beneficial to encourage kids to explore life with self confidence? Would you like to be driven to be better by being abused? Or do you think/feel it might be more interesting to grow in oursleves without having to "defeat" others?

        Sorry you feel that nurturing causes children to "grow weak". Nurturing a child's self esteem and confidence actually produces more content, peaceful adults.
    • Jun 16 2011: "If you keep nurturing these children, they will grow weak"

      I must say that this Dickensian attitude to bringing up children has caught me off guard!
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        Jun 16 2011: 'Are there no workhouses?'
        • Jun 16 2011: and don't they have to wear a sign that says "Be careful, he bites", at school all day!

          EDITED. Jacqueline, I can't help but think that you are really just playing devil's advocate - am I correct?
      • Jun 16 2011: Yes, lets not encourage them to grow weak, rather, lets provide them the tools to become strong, also known as nurturing, so they might not be treated harsly by the parents of the children who bully when the do fight back/ie. bite.
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      Jun 16 2011: Jacqueline your bio says you are concerned with social right . Would you not consider harassment am impingement on one's rights. I'm not saying competition is wrong, but should we not teach children some boundaries for it.
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      Jun 16 2011: "When a stronger figure confronts someone weaker. The ''victim'' will be driven to do better in whatever their weak in."

      I hope this is a generalization. I tend to shut down, internalize, beat myself up...not do better. You need to watch Tony Porters TED Talk http://www.ted.com/talks/tony_porter_a_call_to_men.html

      I am not a small or weak man, I have tailored my look to be menacing to keep people away. But I have no desire to hurt innocent people emotionally or physically.
    • Jun 16 2011: Are you serious Jacqueline? YOu think bullhing is great? Wow... how about the thousands of kids each year who commit suicide because of bullying, because they are now so fraught with anxiety at the idea of socializing because of harmful early social experiences such as bullying, that there life has become meaningless? Sorry, but you obviously were never bullied, and only look at it from an outsiders perspective. When a child has no defense, they internalize that bullying and take it with them for the rest of their lives, until they talk to a therapist, thinking they are stupid, dumb, ugly...

      You are confusing bullying with being challenged in any way. Kids who don't have the inner structure to stand up to bullies only build up resentment which eventually they turn in on themselves. I know, I was bullied, and I am really fucked up because of it. It did not make me stronger, because I didn't have anyone around to tell me I was okay on the inside, so I believed the treatment I was getting was a true indication of my self worth. What was I supposed to believe? A child soaks up the world, and if that is what the world is giving him, then he will percieve the world as a threatening place full of danger...

      I really dislike what you have posted. It is tremendously insensitive to anyone who has been bullied.
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      Jun 18 2011: What???? Jaqueline....bullying isn't good for anyone..there is nothing positive about bullying. I have never heard anyone suggest otherwise..is that something that comes from your own experience..is that what you were told? That it would toughen you up?
    • Jul 8 2011: Jaqueline, I am very happy you said this,

      this conversation was bland from the get go, you put a bit of spice in it.

      now I don't entirely agree with you,

      though I firmly believe in teaching kids how to defend themselves, and make them understand you never start a fist fight, but you sure as hell end one.

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