TED Conversations

Debra Smith


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Learning to forgive is 'the PhD" of being human. True or False? It represents the highest level of human development or does it?


We are at beyond the half time mark so I would like to add another question:
What are the elements of a good apology?
What are the elements of a lousy apology?

Forgiveness is a very difficult thing to give.

It is necessary to forgive?

Is it right to forgive?

Who deserves forgiveness?

Who doesn't deserve forgiveness?

Does a person have to ask for forgiveness to deserve it?

Can you accept being forgiven when you have hurt someone?

What does forgiving do for the person who forgives?


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  • Jun 9 2011: Forgive the analogy, it is more like you taking a laxative and expecting the other person to give a shit. In the end, you get cleaned out which is the important thing.

     I am more thought than emotion; therefore, it is a matter of logic for why it happened. I cannot resolve the emotion if I don't understand the mental process the person applied. You don't forgive or ask forgiveness of inanimate objects. Therefore, thought plays a huge role in the process. I just have issues with people whom cannot admit they are to blame and need to ask for forgiveness. It is pretty simple to understand your part in any situation from the other person's perspective; not that we need to accept their perspective as the truth. Yet, you are a better person if you can exhibit this behavior and request forgiveness from their perspective.
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      Jun 9 2011: Well Jonathan, You made me laugh out loud!

      Are there times when someone has done something, seems oblivious or willfully ignorant of it and you decide to forgive them anyways?
      If you can't forgive them- how long can you stay angry about it?
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      Jun 9 2011: Jonathan Too funny.and so perfect...I can't imagine having an ocasion to quote you.exactly..but too good not to share..somehow.

      Thnak you..

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