Adriana Camarena

Eternal Student,

This conversation is closed.

Does everything has to be always nice, sweet and covered in flowers in order to be good?

This questions comes from a constant observation of the lack of critical thinking or the lack of courage to say things directly and straight.
The trend is to be always a little complacent, sometimes too nice or too polite, and this missuse of language often conducts to missunderstandings. Being critical and clear doesn't has to be rude.
Probably it has to be with the ego and our mania to use it as a daily filter for everything we do...

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    May 16 2011: If someone is always be nice s/he will be victim of his/her niceness oneday.

    No point of being nice in the face of injustice & tyranny.
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      May 16 2011: And why is that there's times when we act nice or let pass some situation even if we know is an injustice or even tyranny?
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        May 17 2011: What I feel reasons can be as below
        -risk averse attitude (in other words lack of courage)
        -don't want to leave our comfort zone
        -sometimes thinking let someone else start then will follow (lack of drive or leadership capability)

        These separately can be the reason or can be combindly the limiting factor
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    May 17 2011: The languaje is degradated by ourselves when we abuse of the words. But we really kill it if we abuse of the meaning as if were a multisize trick for the rethoric. For example the news in any media (papers, t.v., cibernews, gossip). But the worst arrives when we abuse of the ethics in the meaning to be seed as good or bad, softspoken guys or rudeclaimers....any of this not just degrading the lenguage,,,destroy our skills to express the truth.
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    May 16 2011: Adriana let me remind you that above the dialogoin is the polemos ...the verbal fight....upper in the scale is the ephisteme and in the top is zoumazein or astonishment.......if we go nicely to said just pretty things we fall in the euprepes (the simulation) and is very easy to stay in tne doxa------the polemos as the dialectics, are forms of the same high level conversation if we add the four aproachs from sinecticon, mayeuticon, hermeneuticon, and heuristicon.....if your interlocutors are not aware and are so soft to feel some words very rude.....well....what we can do?¡¡¡¡¡¡
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      May 17 2011: The first thing we cannot expect is to found amazement, wonder or astonishment in the answers which is a common thing that i found lately.
      That has anything to do with all this mania of the stereotypes? The copy of the copy... the repetition an reuse of the same models without real understanding, I mean, the degradation of the models?

      Is that we're responding old and rancid things? Is that the language is degradating?
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    May 16 2011: Dear Adriana,
    I think there is more integrity in honest challenge and disagreement than in patting people on the head. I want the freedom to ask you what you think, to challenge it politely and to come to greater understanding through good dialogue. I invite people to do the same with me. In fact, I take it as a higher form of respect and kindness than someone who just pretends to agree, does not bother to look at the issues or who dismisses me.
    "Come and let us reason together' is a quote i like and it was purported to be said by God himself.
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      May 16 2011: Dear Debra, I think that is more intelligent to be polite and nice and also be critical, honest and clear. But that's a very hard thing to find together. (I'm sorry if my english is not clear enough, is not even my second language... more likely the third).

      I've found that sometimes in forums or even in conversations with other persons the trend is to agree in order to not make conflicts because the ego is always so bubbly that reacts leaving us no time to restrain it. Is that we use the 'patting on the head' like a selfdefending weapon?

      Good dialogue also has to do with the good use of language. I found more a more a lack of precision in the use of words, and I think that happens in any language. We have to use the discernement in order to be honest and be polite and express a disagreement or any (critical) point of view for that matter.
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        May 16 2011: I wonder, Adriana, if you realize how wonderful and generous it is for the people who speak other languages as you and many others on this site do to make the effort to speak with us as you do? I am an the iliterate one in speaking only English and some French. Without your efforts we would be impoverished by not having your perspectives. Thanks and please do not apologize!

        If we are genuinely people of intelligence and good will we will find ways to ask sincerely, kindly and listen just as sincerely and kindly because the goal is to understand and this is a golden opportunity to see a world we could never glimpse otherwise.

        We are in agreement on these things! Now shall we find something really great to debate???
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          May 16 2011: Thanks Debra, and I will appreciate all the corrections in my writing!
          Yes, we agree... but willing to put a topic to debate with I'll ask you a question: Theorically we all are capable of being intelligent and ask sincerely and kindly... but in real life how common is this?
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        May 16 2011: Adriana, There is a question among the conversations threads which asks why you chose the picture you did. I love your and the friendly wave. I am very curious about the art work or the screen next to you. Would you consider going to that question and sharing how and why you chose your picture?
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        May 17 2011: Adriana, that is a good question. It is not as common as we might wish. I think that the problem arises out of several causes. We are not educating students in critical thinking- When I helped teach it at the university level- it was not an easy concept for many people to follow. I think it needs to be taught at a much younger age. There are many, many intelligent people who need to have their mental pencils sharpened so that they can think more clearly and write more clearly as well.
        The sincere and the kind part is a reflection on our cultures today. It is 'cool' to be cynical and rude in many settings. I think a better attitude begins in the home and that empathy and manners have a lot to do with the skill set.
  • May 16 2011: I may not entirely understand the question so please correct me if I am getting off track.

    I believe that sometimes breaking laws is a good thing. Sometimes laws do not represent true justice and that these laws shouldn't be followed and people should stand up for what they believe in. In America we have the rights to freedom of speech and that we should exercise that right to speak out against things being unfair. There is a great quote by Martin Luther King Jr. who said

    "Modern psychology has a word that is probably used more than any other word. It is the word "maladjusted." Now we all should seek to live a well—adjusted life in order to avoid neurotic and schizophrenic personalities. But there are some things within our social order to which I am proud to be maladjusted and to which I call upon you to be maladjusted. I never intend to adjust myself to segregation and discrimination. I never intend to adjust myself to mob rule. I never intend to adjust myself to the tragic effects of the methods of physical violence and to tragic militarism. I call upon you to be maladjusted to such things. I call upon you to be as maladjusted to such things.
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      May 17 2011: Dillan.......breaking the law?.....not always is an appropiate could bend the law, or simply be outlaw....being outlaw is more safe .... you don't have to break anithing......