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Does love & monogamy still exist in today's age?

Love & Monogamy, does it still exist today or is it a thing of the past?

Considering the effects of social media...have relationships changed for better or worse?

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    May 2 2014: Hi Chelsea,
    Love is a much abused word these days. To me it is a commitment to another person to seek their good even at some cost to one's self. In the sexual field this is normally accompanied by fuzzy feelings. Monogamy is the commitment to restrict the co-habiting/sexual side of this arrangement to one other.
    It has to be said that the commitment is less than it was, with the fuzzy feelings often being elevated above it. It takes two to tango, & many get dumped by a less-committed partner.
    Love & monogamy still exist, & personally I thoroughly recommend both, but the 'ME FIRST' society is taking it's toll.

    :-(
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    May 2 2014: Chelsea,
    I don't know how old you are, but whether you are 20 or 80, love and monogamy can and will exist if the two parties involved both want it to. There will always be temptations in your life, but it is your choice how you react to them and sometimes that is an easy choice and other times it takes a little more willpower. My advice if you ever decide to make a commitment is this:
    1. Do it with your eyes open, and with full knowledge of what making the commitment means to both of you:
    2. Do it with someone that you have taken the time to know, and who has proven themselves to have a similar value system as your own;
    3. Do it with someone who wants the same long term life plan as your own. If either of you give up too much of your dreams, there will be a possibility of resentment towards the other;
    4. Do it with someone who does not come with a truck load of baggage if you are not willing to accept it. Bad habits usually do not change.
    5. Do it with someone who was not in a relationship with someone else when you met them. If they did it with you, they'll do it to you;
    6. Do it with someone who has shown acceptance of the real you. That means that you do not have you be someone other than yourself to please him, or do things against your wishes or morals.
    7. Do it with someone that can handle the bad times as well as the good times. The vows are clear that a commitment should be for better or worse, sickness and health, richer or poorer, and both of you should mean exactly that.; and lastly;
    8. Do it with someone who is responsible with money and has a good work ethic. A steady income provides a sense of security and being financially responsible helps to avoid stress about your bills, as well as prepares you for a comfortable retirement.
    If all of the above factors are in place, and you are also physically and sexually attracted to that person and in love, then the monogamy part will have a considerably high chance of success. Good luck!
    • May 5 2014: Please write your 8 points for male also. How should a male select his soulmate ?
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        May 5 2014: FOR MALES THIS WORKS THE EXACT SAME WAY! If you do not believe in my ideals, that's okay, just find your own and stick with them as long as they make you happy. After all, I just got married in 1982, so I'm still waiting to see if this works out!
    • May 5 2014: Let me add the other hidden points :

      9. Do it with someone with whom you can take benefit from both the worlds tradional as well as modern.

      10.Do it with someone from whom you can expect the traditional masculine traits , but he should not expect the traditional feminine traits in you.

      11.Do it with someone to whom you can dump upon finding a rich guy.
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        May 5 2014: These points (at least mine) apply to both a man and a woman. You notice I did not say do it with a man who......I said do it with someone who.... That would be someone of the opposite sex, or the same sex or whatever makes you feel happy and complete. I also never mentioned anything about wealth. I mentioned being responsible with money, whether it be one dollar or a thousand dollars, we should be careful with how we spend. And I have no idea what masculine or feminine traits you are referring to. I have no problem taking out the trash or raking the lawn, and my husband does not mind preparing a nice lunch for us every now and then. I don't see that as anything other than working together. You sound a little bitter, like you may have been hurt, and I hope that you find the someone you are looking for
  • May 1 2014: Bonding still exists. I saw it in a movie not so long ago.
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    R H 30+

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    May 2 2014: In my opinion, relationships are determined by the participants. Many are drawn to exclusive relationship with another. It's not a question of 'still existing', or 'that was then and this is now', it's a question of multiple choices and options desired by those who share their lives.
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    May 7 2014: .
    Yes!
    It does.

    It is ancestors' successful experience in DNA.
    Otherwise, invalid happiness appears.
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    May 7 2014: Does love & monogamy still exist in today's age? Yes, although love seems to be more common than monogamy.

    "News of politicians' extramarital affairs seems to be in no short supply lately, but if humans were cut from exactly the same cloth as other mammals, a faithful spouse would be an unusual phenomenon.

    Only 3 percent to 5 percent of the roughly 5,000 species of mammals (including humans) are known to form lifelong, monogamous bonds , with the loyal superstars including beavers, wolves and some bats.

    Social monogamy is a term referring to creatures that pair up to mate and raise offspring but still have flings. Sexually monogamous pairs mate with only with one partner. So a cheating husband who detours for a romantic romp yet returns home in time to tuck in the kids at night would be considered socially monogamous... Some scientists view both social and sexual monogamy in humans as a societal structure rather than a natural state.

    "I don't think we are a monogamous animal," said Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle. "A really monogamous animal is a goose – which never mates again even if its mate is killed... "Monogamy is invented for order and investment – but not necessarily because it's 'natural.'"

    http://www.livescience.com/32146-are-humans-meant-to-be-monogamous.html
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    May 6 2014: I keep hearing the word from young people today, exclusivity or we just went exclusive but it's not classed as a relationship or the word love is never used. I have heard the phrase " I still had feelings for him/her. " There's FWB and the word " Open. " There is almost this preference to not use the words Love and monogamous.
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    May 6 2014: Love is real, and there are all sorts of 'feeling' masquerading as love. The proof of your love is your sacrifice. By sacrifice I dont mean laying down your life (even though it is one way to proof love if neccessary).
    Every human being craves for a one on one (monogamous) love relationship; but only very few have the strength to say no to the numerous beautiful/lovely distractions that keep calling.
    Love is the ultimate good; nothing good comes easy, let alone the grandest good.
    Sacrifice is having a lover and sticking to your lover even when you see other potential lovers (beautiful, rich, or however good).

    The proof of love is commitment, sacrifice.
  • May 6 2014: Some part of the population is genetically predisposed to stability. They shy away from rate race, from experimentation. They are emotionally content with those values that that leads to stability. I have known these people. Often some religious people tend to be monogamous or they are monogamous so they become religious because that meets their other emotional need.

    My point is that there are all kind of people and some are in this group,
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    May 5 2014: The commitment and allegiance are part of home upbringing. If father was cheating mother, perhaps it will be the same with son and his wife. Or daughter will be cheated by her husband. It is trans-generational transfer.

    I believe that it is possible if you have "healthy, family environment " and normal system of values. And of course, if you meet somebody who really moves you.
  • May 5 2014: I think it's all in how a person views the link between love and sex. For my husband, love and sex are the same thing. Sure he had a few encounters when he was younger that weren't related to love, but he shows his love for me through making love. I am almost the opposite. For me, sex and love are not really related. Yes, you have sex with someone you love, but you can have sex without loving someone. This could be an effect of social media, I'm not even positive myself. I feel like the media portrays sex as a way of satisfying physical desires, not emotional ones. The general message I get from social media is that sex doesn't include love and if you want to show some one you love them, you buy them something (ex. diamonds). If that notion is true, then it doesn't matter if you are not monogamous because sex is not how you show love. Even for my "pessimist" view, I think love and monogamy still exist because it is something passed down through generations, but I do not see our media encouraging it.
  • May 5 2014: Love is Sci Fi Fiction.
  • May 4 2014: Like Rodrigo if I need true, bonding, mutually exclusive love I just order a pizza and watch a movie. What could be more satisfying or full of more love than a pizza and "Sleepless in Seattle"? By the way I just did it again last night, this morning... no hang over, no contracts, no diseases... no problems! Tonight for a double feature I think it will be "You've got mail" and the left-over pizza. I'm so in love with Meg Ryan, over and over and over again:)
  • May 3 2014: Hi Dear Chelsea,I think love needs monogamy relationship.