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greg dahlen

Alumnus, academy of achievement

TEDCRED 50+

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what role does self-pity play in your life?

Once in a while I get into a little self-pity, but it quickly fades. How about you, do you ever feel self-pity? Do you enjoy the feeling, or dislike it? How long do you feel it for?

If you think it's reasonable to sometimes feel self-pity, what percentage or amount of time of one's life do you think it is healthy to feel it for?

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    Apr 7 2014: Some people do not want to forgive themselves or others, and their sense of self-pity might stay with them forever.

    “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

    ― Mahatma Gandhi, Autobiographical Reflections
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      Apr 7 2014: Self-pity is therapeutic if not allowed to linger. There are people who continue to get nothing but woes in spite of not being harmful to others and we can't just say they are weak or flawed.

      Self-pity is like paranoia. Just because you think there are conspiracies against you doesn't mean it's not true.

      Looking for your own post dear Vera.
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        Apr 7 2014: Hello dear Poch. I personally cannot stand that Self Pity even for a moment. I replace it with fairness.

        I was growing up in my hellish household and sometimes had this terrible feeling - I'm so hurt for no reason at all. Just because my relatives are sick and very angry? I could be so desperately sorry for my hurt and "poor" self, so many times!

        I worked on many projects to help others - no charges - I learned to FORGIVE not to forget!! This experience of Creating Kindness against ugly pitiful madness grew in me invincible, peaceful strength.

        This wisdom can be hidden in a child's soul.

        2 days ago I received an attorney's letter: my sick mindwise and now physically, older sister, surprising me with the news - she revocated my Power of Attorney. She also removed my name from her Will. Why? By hurting me she creates a disaster for herself. I'm the only one who pays bills takes care of our house. The downpayment was my own money as well. She has no moral right to manipulate it.

        She has now a deadly lymphoma and has to learn how to take care of herself.

        I helped her endlessly through years even with her Lymphoma - her lymph nodes almost disappeared. She was able to live for 10 years after the doctor promissed her 1.

        She was never grateful, never learned. Ultimately hysterical she was "scared" but for herself only! Insecure, Jealous !

        When her Living-Will-attorney told her that after I saved her life, rescued her house and a big lump of money left after her deceased husband, who had no Living Will but only his First wife with children - he never divorced her! Why did not she add my name to title or accounts I filled with huge money?

        She is my Failure not because she grabbed everything. When you treat this develish person with kindless she bites you painfully in return showing who's the "boss". Kindness is an unknown sense for her She only knows how to grow her colossal Self Pity - her life is hell
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          Apr 7 2014: Wow Vera. That was an excellent lesson on self-pity and I'm glad and flattered you poured it out on me. You are one regular saint and should be declared as one! You even think like a master guru. My perception on self-pity was suddenly dashed to pieces lol.

          Anyway, I hope and expect you will get the good karma you richly deserve for the saintly treatment of your evil sister. Namaste.
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        Apr 8 2014: So grateful for your generous, kind words, Poch. I'm hurt right now because I have failed - my best "treatment" for bitterness and self-pity, by Generosity and Kindness, did not work this time. And I've tried for so long... It is very rare when it does not work. See - I'm not even a "regular" saint, but I'm learning. I can create my own Karma, turning ugliness into some good compost and good soil for growing graceful things. When I was 5 I saw beautiful, sweet little flowers in our old forgotten courtyard.
        I was wondering how in the world they can create their fragile beauty, from that scary dirt underground? I think that was my best lesson.

        Namaste.. Thank you:)
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          Apr 8 2014: If you failed, it does not count or matter. Motive is all that matters.

          'When I was 5 I saw beautiful, sweet little flowers in our old forgotten courtyard.
          I was wondering how in the world they can create their fragile beauty, from that scary dirt underground?...'
          Do you see that you're already a profound philosopher at 5!? Your best lesson indeed!

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