A conversation on TED.com: Have we become overly civilized?

Erik Richardson
Milwaukee, WI
United States

Teacher, Richardson Ideaworks, Inc.

This conversation has closed. Start a new conversation
or join one »

Have we become overly civilized?

What can we do in the modern world to restore to our kids the virtues of physical and psychological ruggedness? Anything that even smacks of teaching our kids to have "stiff upper lip" is seen as harsh, but day after day in my teaching and in the wider social interaction, I see kids struggle because they AREN'T given this message at home, by the media, by schools. There is a balance, to be sure, but how can we swing the pendulum part way back?

Related Talks:

Sort By:

Thejas Anand
- 0
Apr 27 2011: Yes, we have. There is often nothing short of harsh judgement for every single thing around us. We refrain from more things than ever before and call indulgence a 'right'. If all 'wrongs' in one category are converted into 'right' in the second category, then is that not the very fabric of being overly civilized? Civilization is acceptance, and we cannot accept anything anymore. Therefore, lately I notice that we resort considering non-acceptance, acceptable. Yes, we are definitely over-civilized.

For any other sources, we despise nature, embrace concrete. We block out the poor to want to be rich. We slaughter animals, in silence to feed our greed. We will do anything to avoid difficulty and live a quasi-luxurious life. Isn't that our aim for being 'civil'?
Stephen Teng 10+
- +1
Apr 25 2011: Pinker would disagree. see http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/steven_pinker_on_the_myth_of_violence.html . Civilization, contrary to popular belief has improved our lives, decreased violence, and increased quality of life far more than it is harmed us. It is tempting to romantize the past, but we should remember it is merely that and nothing more. The question is how to we take the benefits of the civilization and continue to move in a direction we desire.
- Erik Richardson 10+
  - 0
  Apr 25 2011: I think you would find a remarkable distinction, however, if you took out the statistical effect of wars. One of the particular changes drowned out by that large-scale data is the freakish rise in grade school violence.
  
  In fact, your argument opens up an interesting point: if life overall is less tough than it used to be, why are our children and adults suffering so much more psychological illness and emotional trauma than before?
  - Zdenek Smith 100+
    
    +2
    Host Associate
    
    Apr 25 2011: Do we really see rise in grade school violence or are we just "better" informed about every single case of such event that happened anywhere in the world due to restless media coverage?
    
    Wars and conflicts caused and are causing unimaginable suffering and mental breakdown of children, parents, families. With less war I think we have significantly less trauma. Our sensitivity threshold might be also lower, with people more concerned than before?
    - Erik Richardson 10+
      
      0
      
      Apr 27 2011: No, I'm pretty sure there weren't metal detectors in public schools 30 or 50 years ago.
  - Zdenek Smith 100+
    
    0
    Host Associate
    
    Apr 28 2011: Yes some places have metal detectors but nowadays teachers are less likely to use spanking and other methods of punishment so I would say overall the trend is still very positive?
Andrew Kumler
- 0
Apr 25 2011: In a partial answer to your question, I do believe that the media plays a vital role in the development of children. As far as becoming "overly civilized", this could become relevant when a child (or adult) is unable to perform a certain action or thought that the generation before could easily do. At least this is my opinion. It is definitely true that with current technology we can do once considered difficult tasks, and turn them into simple actions (i.e. communicating with someone across the world). And it is once we adapt these newly learned skills that we tend to lose or forget previous ones.

So to be "overly civilized" doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing, it just depends on what perspective you look upon it.

I though hard about this, and I believe it is the best response I can give!
Debra Smith 100+
- 0
Apr 25 2011: Erik! Too civilized?? Have you watched TV or Youtube lately??
- Erik Richardson 10+
  - 0
  Apr 25 2011: Interesting point, Debra, but do you think those things would be so ridiculous if people were capable of absorbing some of the knocks and blows of life instead of just lashing out? Seems to me that the ridiculous level of melodrama is analogous to a child with a scraped knee screaming and wailing like they're dying. Maybe we're working with two different ideas, what do you think?
- Zdenek Smith 100+
  - 0
  Host Associate
  
  Apr 25 2011: Some parts of the world are fairly civilized, some are fairly barbaric and some are between.
  
  I think Eric is referring to the most civilized areas of the world where parents (including myself) sometimes do overprotect children from any kind of exposure to pain or hardship. I think kids need to experience some level of pain and dealing with problems that help them in future life. However, this is very dependent on their age, what is reasonable and useful and one should avoid any extremes.
  
  I think an excellent way to achieve this is by bringing kids to camping, letting them join various team sports like soccer or hockey, let them join scouts etc.
  - Comment deleted
    - Zdenek Smith 100+
      
      0
      
      Host Associate
      
      Apr 28 2011: I would have heart attack if that happened with my daughter but for sure a good life experience for you =)
      
      Sometimes I think how much I should expose my daughter to certain activities like kayaking on ocean, scuba diving or snowboarding as they are a bit dangerous. However I like her to get some unique experience far from shopping malls ;)
  - Comment deleted
    - Zdenek Smith 100+
      
      0
      
      Host Associate
      
      Apr 30 2011: Yes I agree. Thank you for sharing =)
Nicholas Lukowiak 30+
- 0
Apr 25 2011: Example(s), more details, and possibly a link concerning this topic Erik.

However are you saying children do not understand how to handle a put down? OR children do not know how to constructively receive criticism? OR neither?
- Erik Richardson 10+
  - 0
  Apr 25 2011: Partly I want to hear what others think in terms of what "too civilized" would mean, so I didn't pin it down more than that. Certainly you've given two examples, though I think there are others.