TED Conversations

Vlad Fiscutean

Brand Designer & CEO, TEDx Timisoara

TEDCRED 500+
TEDx OrganizerAssociateTED Attendee

This conversation is closed. Start a new conversation
or join one »

What 3 things did you learn while you were in a near-death experience?

I am interested in finding out what are your 3 things that you learned from a near-death experience. Please state if you were in a near-death experience or not and what was it. Looking forward to read your answers...

Related Talks:
Topics: Learn afterlife death learning life
+5
Share:
progress indicator

  • Sara C

    • +1
    Jul 16 2011: In reading all your comments, I realised that I had a near death experience. Although no "physical" harm came to me, meaning that I wasn't in a coma or seriously injured, I guess that being raped at gunpoint at 15 can be considered a near death experience. Like some of you, I had no epiphany. Perhaps that is why I never thought of it as a NDE. Nevertheless, I felt like I was outside of my body observing the 'incident'. I can say though that I learned that I am a much stronger and resilient person that I would have ever imagined.
    Going through your posts reminded me of that. Thank you. :-)
    • thumb

      Colleen Steen 500+

      • 0
      Jul 18 2011: Dear Sara,
      I'm so sorry you had to learn about your strength in that way. You were physically harmed and injured, and it must have been a horrible, frightening experience. What you experienced may be disassociation. We leave the body and disassociate from the trauma we are experiencing. I appreciate you sharing your story, and I hope you are well.
      Colleen
  • thumb

    Erin Conklin

    • +2
    Jul 5 2011: In 1994 I lived on the third story of an apartment building. I woke to the sound of a smoke detector. I went to the door and looked out my peephole. I couldn't see a thing. I felt the door. It was warm. I called 911 and they said that help was on the way. I went back to my door. I heard fire roaring up the stairwell. I felt the door again and it was hot to the touch. I knew I should not open the door. It was very difficult thing not to panic in that moment. I came close to freaking out completely, and then I felt a calming presence wrap itself around me. It was something that did not come from within me. I went to a window so I could get some fresh air. While I was waiting for the fire department to arrive I decided to grab a couple of things. Smoke had completely filled my apartment. I took a deep breath and ducked into my apartment. While trying to find my glasses I took a breath and got a lung full of smoke. I came extremely close to passing out. It felt like I was breathing in a feather pillow. I remember fighting with every fiber of my being not to pass out. I went back to the window and stayed there. My apartment started to get hot so I sat on the windowsill. Soon I felt my back getting hot. I climbed out my window and hung from it with my arms on the inside and my armpits on the windowsill. I felt one of my arms getting hot. I started hanging from the windowsill by my hands. After an eternity I felt white hot pain in both of my hands and shooting up my arms. The people on the ground were yelling at me to hang on because the fire department had arrived. I knew that I would not be able to hold on until they got to me. I decided to let go. I knew I was going to die (I didn't think it I knew it). I thought "OK God here I come" and let go. It was the most peaceful moment of my life. I fell three stories to the concrete below. I learned that I am not afraid of death, that something other than me was present, and that time is perception (time dilatation).
    • thumb

      Colleen Steen 500+

      • 0
      Jul 18 2011: WOW Erin! I feel lucky I was immediately knocked unconscious!
      • thumb

        Erin Conklin

        • +1
        Jul 18 2011: That is lucky, if you could call anything about being in a situation like that lucky. My first thought upon landing (after a couple of bounces, surprised to find that we humans bounce) was, "Oh God I'm alive!" That was quickly followed with the much less grateful, "Ah $*** I'm awake!" Then I got to see my apartment flashover and watch everything I owned explode. That was kind of cool actually, though I was a bit annoyed because I had spent that afternoon cleaning. :-) Funny what goes through your head sometimes...
        • thumb

          Colleen Steen 500+

          • 0
          Jul 18 2011: Hi Erin,
          It IS funny what goes through the head sometimes...in hindsight! Although I was unconscious, and apparently not aware of my predicament at that point, they tell me that as they were loading me into the ambulance, I kept saying..."take me home...I don't have time for this...I have company coming for dinner".....LOL:>)

          Well, it's good your apartment was clean when it exploded. And I guess my expected company found somewhere else to eat that evening:>)

  • sarah burns

    • +1
    Jun 13 2011: a friend of mine, my roommate and i were all held at duel gunpoint, and at one point they had loaded and cocked the gun right in front of us and put it to my friend's head and almost pulled the trigger but luckily she threw all she had at them at the last minute.

    i learned that death was a very real thing. of course i've always known it existed, but death, especially violent death, now hits me harder than it ever has.

    i learned that my mom was right, the murders do come out after midnight, haha. but no, in all seriousness i did learn that the world isn't what i thought it was. this was right after i had gotten my first apartment and i was growing up very fast.

    and then the most important thing i learned. right after it all happened, as soon as they left i thought to call my mom. and then i realized no matter what i say to her, or do, or anything at this point, it would not change what had just happened. i had never been so completely out of control of what was happening to me. that's a scary feeling, especially for the first time. that no matter what you do, nothing will fix or help or change what just happened. and i learned sometimes, that's just the way life is.

    learned a lot of rough lessons that night.
  • thumb

    Shiva t

    • 0
    Jun 9 2011: well..., I had one ,at least i can say that,I experienced one when I had a horrible car accident 5 years ago, actually at the moment of the crash my body twisted so bad that I could hardly breath and i couldn't move my legs however, it happened that I just had a pelvic fracture and I got better in a month. The first moment was not actually that bad cause I thought I was death!!! anyways the fact that I couldn't walk and even take care of my own business for a month was the bad part. That's a great question you just asked but I have no answer for it ;( I learned ... nothing much :~ life sux
  • thumb

    Sajeesh Raghav

    • 0
    Jun 9 2011: Learned crying, learned sleeping disappointed, and learned how to borrow
  • thumb

    Carlos Gutierrez

    • 0
    Jun 7 2011: 1) Life is just a second
    2) How fragil we are
    3) Live every moment you can
  • thumb

    Debra Smith 200+

    • 0
    Jun 7 2011: Question to everyone here:
    I notice that some people have a stark three point response and some write much more eloquently about the experience. My experience was so traumatic at the time and so stark that I have few words. Is it that some people have just had more time to integrate and philosophize about it or was it less traumatic?

    • Alexander :)

      • 0
      Jun 8 2011: Debra - I wouldn't like to comment on how trauma is measured, but I'm sure it must be categorised by how and to what level it has manifested itself. I think the key point is the individual and how much trauma they 'allow' in, which would depend on their views, past, character etc.

      So I guess one could argue it's the level of trauma they go through in the first place, and by definition - the level of trauma directly corresponds to the level of affect, but as I said in my other post I believe trauma to be unrelated to the size of the experience - it's how the person handles it (whenever they do so - even if it's a significant time after).

      Once someone has trauma, how long they are left with it will no doubt vary significantly, but as time increases so does the chance that their answer will come to them. This time could possibly be reduced by actively searching, or with the help of friends.

      I like reading quotes, and for the last couple of weeks, I read several every morning which helps keep things in perspective, but I don't do this because of trauma, and I can say I haven't had significant trauma. I hope I never do, but it's true I often think what it might take for me to go over the edge - but I don't think anyone can know until it happens.

  • Gideon kandemiri

    • +3
    Jun 6 2011: My most recent near death experience was when I got robbed here in South Africa, one of the robbers stuck a knife to my throat, screaming demands of which I complied (probably why im still here).Anyways one thing I can guarantee is that my life did not flash before my eyes, I was too busy calculating different methods to escape that uncomfortable situation. But there were things I thought of almost immediately( during and after they were gone) 1.) My then-current girlfriend (my ex), the stuff we talked about wanting to do in the future, places to visit,who we were gonna be 2) My mom, I could see her face as the news baraged through her defenses and lastly 3) I saw my own funeral - believe me,its one experience you dont want to have.The leasons I pulled from that experience were simple 1) Relationships are first priority, family, lovers, friends the works, who you have shapes who you are (mommy,mommy - I thought that up all by myself) 2.) The Heroes die in South Africa, this is one place where unless you know kung-fu or own a gun, shut up and hand over you wallet and the keys and finally 3) I Has to learn me some kung-fu

    • Sam Puzhalin

      • 0
      Jun 16 2011: Have you considered learning how to run fast? )

  • Alexander :)

    • +1
    Jun 6 2011: Ah yes, ok - hear me out first - I watched Ric's talk yesterday. He's a good speaker, good for him - he learnt 3 things, I'm still wondering why he actually got to speak at TED though as the concept of life rushing before your eyes has been pushed by Hollywood for decades, nevertheless his story made people happy and maybe take note - so that is indeed great. I noticed he was a 'CEO' (basically he opened a company) so he's a leader, has confidence and knows how to talk to people, but not only this I want to know why it was HE who got to speak? He asked to, or was asked to by TED? He has contacts etc? There were many others in the plane, but I guess that's beside the point.

    What is a near death experience? Depends who you are and what your mind is like right? I have seen people go into hysterics over a spider, compared to others being calm in a 5 car pile up. How can you be sure you would have died if 'x' happened? In fact I know I have been in a near death experience several times, one including that car crash I mentioned - where two women were actually stretchered off in ambulances. And yes the last few seconds before impact went into slow motion for me - but maybe I am quite blaze (blazay) about these things as I know how easy it is to die. It could be a matter of inches between life and death, you don't have to be in a big event like a plane crash and become a celebrity because of it. I honestly think the hardest thing is dealing with a terminal illness - those who have/are - you have my utmost respect!

    I will say here I learnt the same thing as everyone else - family and the important things in life etc, but do I retain this each and everyday, honestly? no I don't - it does lapse from time to time. But past events have made me much more philosophical - and I feel great!

  • Andre Andrus

    • +1
    Jun 6 2011: The great news is that the heart (the emotional one) is ALWAYS able to mend, regardless of how we feel about it and whether we understand that or not. I too am a survivor of this condition of just over a year ago. In a separate event I had a physical near-death experience, and the sensation I had during those moments when I thought I was nearly dead was an amazingly complete and unemotional acceptance of EVERYTHING, including the process of dying itself. Interestingly, I think there is a parallel between the two. if I had applied a greater level of acceptance during the first one I could have avoided so much pain in that loss. This is a single lesson I learned that applies with multiplicity.
    • thumb

      Debra Smith 200+

      • 0
      Jun 6 2011: " if I had applied a greater level of acceptance during the first one I could have avoided so much pain in that loss."

      That is pretty profound Andre, and after much pain I found it to be true as well.
  • thumb

    claudia marques

    • +1
    Jun 6 2011: i spent 3years with a broken heart, with no will to live. so i guess it is a near-death experience.
    and i learned that it all ends up in how you make others feel, how do others make you feel, how it feels to make such actions.
    • thumb

      Debra Smith 200+

      • 0
      Jun 6 2011: I think many people underestimate the living death that a broken heart can cause.
      I'm glad yours is mending.

    • carole lyc

      • 0
      Jun 6 2011: You've a strong heart. 3 years is a long time but obviously you became a better, stronger, not so vulnerable & a much more sensitive person from your experience.
  • thumb

    Debra Smith 200+

    • 0
    Jun 5 2011: I was choosing from among the commercials that I collected during my marketing education as excellent examples of their type for another question thread here on TED when I rediscovered this one and I thought it applied if perhaps tangentally to the topic here. I hope I am not too far off the mark:

    http://youtu.be/bZ2EKswyTao

    Sometimes art says a lot.
    Here's another to lighten your heart on such a serious topic and remind us all that love conquors all:

    http://youtu.be/VdcE0AKi_JU
  • thumb

    David Tucker

    • +1
    Jun 5 2011: 1. Respect for life and death.
    2. A true appreciation for personal relationships.
    3. Inner Peace. To be able to sit in silence.
  • thumb

    Nicholas Lukowiak 50+

    • 0
    Jun 5 2011: The closest I came to a near-death experience was when my friend was hit by a a drunk driver in front of me. (He survived the incident with a mild concussion and brushes luckily.) What I learned is 1. life can end at any moment 2. to learn like you will live forever and to live like you will die tomorrow 3. life is valuable

    Like you Vlad I am interested in this question and these answers below and have found patterns. However I need/want to do more research on more experiences from more people, before I give my opinion on what exactly it is people are experiencing during these moments.

    This conversation is valuable and everyone on TED should part-take and/or read the stories here.

    http://news.discovery.com/human/near-death-brain.html

    I found this article about why people experience what they do during near-death experiences and think it is of value here to everyone who participated and to all those who do not understand or believe in such experiences.
  • thumb

    Doug Thomas

    • +1
    Jun 5 2011: I walked around for 10 months with a disease that kills approximately 65% of people wyho develop it within 5 months. By the time I sought medical attention (i.e. could not breathe, had to be transported to the hospital by ambulance), I was beginning to go into renal failure. Yeah. I thought I had flue, a cold, incipient rhumatism, this and that, so treated myself with over-the-counter drugs. My doctor, when he gave me his opinion of what I had (Wegener's granulomatosis, now called GPA or Granulomatosis with something- "...a rose by any other name...", eh?!), he noted I would be dead (not MIGHT be or COULD be) within two years. Did I have a traditional "light at the end of the tunnel" experience. No. What I had was a realization I was a dead man my doctors wer about to try to revive through drugs (Cytoxan and Prednisone) and an experimental procedure involving dialysis and phlasmapheresis. This was in December 2003-January 2004, so, clearly, it worked. What did I learn from the experience, in no partuicular order?

    1. That family and friends are more important than everything else in this world.

    2. That I can die, though I'd spent a life in denial of that basic biological fact.

    3. "Yes" or "no" answer most questions adequately well enough to let you move on to the next question. I used to waste lots of time worrrying out answers. Oftentimes I stumbled because I didn't ask the right question.

  • carole lyc

    • +1
    Jun 4 2011: I almost drowned in a pool when my friend dragged me to the deep end of the pool not knowing that I could not swim well. I swallowed so much water in the pool and was submerged in water each time my friend pushed me down while trying to go above water herself leaving me with a near death experience. I didn't know how to panic then and a thought came to me saying "this is it"? but I managed to struggle myself and survived. Ever since, I had phobia of swimming up till now. I learned a lesson that life can end anytime without your expectation. So, live life well whenever possible and love life and people. Peace to the world. Stop wars.

  • Jono Dashper

    • +3
    Jun 3 2011: Chased by a wild elephant in a remote rain forest in Thailand. The things i learnt:
    1) Always travel with someone who runs slower than you.
    2) Elephants can run through forests as fast as the open.
    3) Always wear fresh underwear.

    • Alexander :)

      • 0
      Jun 6 2011: haha - well I don't know if that story is true - but it certainly made me smile :)

    • carole lyc

      • 0
      Jun 6 2011: :D :D :D
  • thumb

    Lana Ghvinjilia

    • 0
    Jun 3 2011: Couple of years ago doctor mistakenly told that I probably have a liver cancer. My grandpa died of liver cancer 20 years ago and that made me quite scared. I knew that this type of cancer has no chance of recovery and has even minimum possibility to live more that 5 years. That time I was 35. The most critical idea I permanently got in my mind during those three months was : what it would be more important to do - continue everything as it goes and do my best to care on my kids future, or leave job, sell something and spend as much time as possible with kids travelling around the globe? What will be correct? Try to care on everything I am responsible to care, or get as much fun as I can?...

    After three month of consultations with different doctors, making hundreds of diagnostics, I went to Berlin clinic where has been told, that I do not have any cancer at all. But I still have not answer on those questions about what would be a mostly appropriate behavior.

  • Sean Geaney

    • +3
    Jun 3 2011: Fell 8 meters and opened my skull on a rock, coma for 8 days. 1) Life is short 2) Friends are epic 3) The mind is an amazing healer.

  • Jerry Akers

    • +1
    Jun 3 2011: After coding twice in the space of an hour; on 7-14-77, I learned three things: 1) The ineffable experience of feeling total bliss and oneness with...well...ALL, may well have been a neural/physical process of the brain and NOTHING else; 2) Life is at best, uncertain, and not even our next breath is guaranteed; 3) To live authentically, live fully and die well. Cause, we just don't know if we get to do it over again...maybe we will and maybe we won't. Peace!

  • Sajjaad Loothfaully

    • +1
    Jun 2 2011: I was doing my studies in Belgium and was once invited for a birthday party quite far from my town. My friends and I were in 2 cars. I was in the second one, right behind the other at 140 km/h on the motorway. I must add that I was in front, in the passenger seat, rolling some herbs which are legal in Holland.
    Out of nowhere, smoke start coming out of the car in front and I just have enough time to notice a spark and heard a 'gun-like' shot. The next thing I remember is me breathing in GLASS. The reflex of rolling myself into a ball came afterwards. I did not saw any light or anything. I was just happy to be alive but still I could not figure out what happen, I was a state of shock for the next 5 to 6 hours. I forgot to add that the projectile from the other car came knocking the windscreen and seriously damaged it, to such an extent that passenger's side was blinded. The car in front was K.O.
    I am someone of indian descent and my skin's color is rather brown. My friends told that I was white that very night.
    I've learned to stay at a reasonable distance from vehicles in front of mine on the highway. Secondly life is short, it can go away in a jiffy, so well preserve it ,stay clean, be more responsible and always be on your guard cause dangers are all over however remember not to make it an obsession cause after all life is all about living(and certainly not at a high pace). These are words I often say to myself since.lol.

  • Norm Turnross

    • +1
    Jun 2 2011: In 2004 I received an electric shock. First thing that came to mind was so this is how I'm to die. 3 things I learned. Durations of Time are meaningless when something "big" happens to you. Time just stops. Second thing. That the human body can withstand a lot. Third thing. That there is something beautiful in focusing on the now - Not what I had for breakfast, not work, nothing. All that I had in my head at that time was the actual moment. Here we are the electrical current and I.
    In hindsight it was one of the most insightful moments of my life. I learned a great deal about myself.

  • David LaMotte

    • +1
    Jun 2 2011: In 2001 I was on a solo concert tour in Texas and I had a bizarre and life-changing experience. Waking up at a friend's house after she and her daughter had left for work and school respectively, I found that I didn't feel well. Gradually, I lost language capacity, going through a phase of aphasia on the way (in which the wrong words came out of my mouth, completely unassociated with the concept I was trying to communicate — i.e. I pointed at a chair and said 'wedding'). My arms went numb for 20 minute intervals, and I became nauseous. In the emergency room I lost consciousness completely, and I remember vividly the sensation that my intellect, my mind, was receding. I had an almost three-dimensional experience of it as a ball of energy slowly moving away from me in a dark space. I was at peace, and watched it go. Only later, upon reflection, did it occur to me that 'I' did not reside in my intellect. It was the most tangible and clear experience of the existence of my own soul, spirit, essential being or whatever terminology one prefers, that I could imagine.

    The other powerful realization to come out of the experience was that it had been my hands and my words that had been taken from me, then hours later, returned. As a professional singer/songwriter and guitarist, my hands and my words are my primary tools. My sense of God doesn't allow for that kind of machination, and that's not exactly how I attribute this, but I couldn't help but have the sense that I was being reminded of the significance of being given these tools—hands and words. I felt as though I was being told "Now I have given these back to you. What do you intend to do with them?"

    The ER doctor, incidentally, diagnosed the episode as a "complex migraine." A migraine, it turns out, is not a headache, but a spasm of blood vessels in the brain. A complex migraine presents stroke-like symptoms.

    • Sajjaad Loothfaully

      • 0
      Jun 2 2011: Well well well. I'm not doubting your integrity but would like to know the drug you were on before the trauma, please. Creative people are rarely good if out of drugs...my personal prejudice and opinion.
  • thumb

    Arvind Venkataraman

    • +2
    Jun 2 2011: A few months ago, I was diagnosed with a malignant spinal tumor; I had severe back pain for quite a few weeks prior, and I needed to get it checked out, though I never thought it would be symptomatic of something like a tumor. After four surgeries and an extensive interferon treatment, I am finally out of that hole, but I learnt much from the experience.

    Before the final surgery and the interferon, I was told that I had a 55% survival chance. Though it's not quite near-death, there wasn't a moment that passed without me worrying. I'm only 14... and the idea of all my dreams being crushed was unbearable. However, I did learn many things from the time I had, sitting with needles in my arms 24 hours every day. I suppose the top three things would be:

    1) The world is beautiful.
    2) Life is a gift- don't put it to waste.
    3) Don't ever not do something just because of fear.

    Before my health problems, I was a piercing pessimist; I was extremely cynical, did not trust many, and could not think positively often. However, sitting in a hospital bed and looking out the window changed that. Here I was, unable to move freely, unable to talk to my friends, unable to do what I love... and looking out the window and seeing so many happy people in the world showed me that there was no point in my pessimism. All of us are given a certain amount of years to experience whatever we want in this world; and criticizing everyone and everything only put that gift to waste. After I was let off the treatments, I went home smiling the entire way. I now try to keep a smile on my face every hour of every day, and be as friendly and adventurous as I can.

    It has worked wonders.
  • thumb

    Steve Graeff

    • +1
    Jun 1 2011: During a near-drowning episode in San Diego: 1. Rip tides are strong. 2. When it is time to die, all fear will leave me; so why bother worrying about it until then? and 3. (in the 24 hours that followed) Never take a sedative and a laxative at the same time.
  • thumb

    John Barnes

    • +1
    Jun 1 2011: I had a near drowning experience about 15 years ago. I was body surfing off a beach in Nova Scotia just after a hurricane and the waves were spectacular. I went out too far and was caught in a rip tide. Struggling to swim ashore against the tide I became totally exhausted. I said to myself "shit, you really f***ed-up this time; you're going to die out here".
    My focus became very small - just the sea around me, and I started to become very calm. I am ashamed to say that my thoughts were completely centered around my own existence in the water- I had two young children on the beach with my brother and a wife at home. With the calmness, my ability to think became much clearer. Instead of fighting the current, I started to relax, save energy and let my muscles regain some strength. I started to swim parallel to the beach until the current seem to lessen. I finally washed up on shore about 3/4 of a mile down the beach on some rocks. The joy at being alive, on land and re-connected to life was incredibly powerful, but it started to fade in several days.
    What did I learn?
    1 - fearlessness is not the absence of fear or conquering fear, but accepting your fear and acting anyway.
    2 - ego makes your world very small and isolated; it is a very lonely state.
    3 - our connection to life and to others needs work - never take it for granted. Our connectedness on an experiential level (not a virtual level), is assumed, but not always experienced - it is appreciated less then our so-called reality.
  • thumb

    Gloria O'Neil-Savage

    • +1
    Jun 1 2011: In 1976, my appendix ruptured and the green bile was in my system for almost 2 weeks, by the time I was operated on. My body had turned green, as were the whites of my eyes and my joints were red, stiff and swollen.
    I died….woke up inside a coliseum, ancient roman-style.
    Everyone was in dark shrouds all around me, praying in a foreign-language….as was I, and I knew the language. It was not Latin, which I had some education on, but similar.
    My life was passing before my eyes and I was ‘praying’ for forgiveness with my head down, as was everyone else in the coliseum. (I was using another form of vision that did not include my physical eyes).
    In the center, was a large ‘stone?’-style chair/throne with a being of light sitting in it, and on either side, two more beings of light were in smaller chairs.
    All around the elliptical center, were I believe 24 beings of light standing.
    Then started the people like me, praying, but all were turned toward that center in worship and prayer.
    I was about 40 rows back or so, in this extremely large structure, so that there were many behind me.
    All of a sudden, it was as if it were my turn, or I was done lamenting/praying over my ‘unworthiness’ and that central ‘God’ looked directly into my heart and at me.
    I was instantly ‘fused’ into that being. I had my separate consciousness point, but I still had some sort of ‘being’ that was filled with this love and infusion of light, singing into every cell of my being that I was so completely loved. ‘All of me’ was completely loved and I was like an embryo in this being/God being fed and loved and nourished with the music of life.
    When God loved me like that, and the entire heavenly host’s were so happy to have me…..it was the most amazing feeling I have ever had before or since.
    ‘I was loved’…’every cell of my being was loved’. It was amazing.
    Soon I found myself walking in a garden with a ‘Jesus’ at my right side.
    The garden was all lit up on the inside and profusely emanating color
  • thumb

    Tero -

    • +1
    May 30 2011: I was in a near death experience in the army. It wasn't a matter of millimetres or fractions of seconds, but there was definitely a threat to my life. During the incident, I just felt my hole body and mind hoping to prevent the situation and luckily, I managed to do so. Right after, I had to continue with the military practice so I obviously didn't have much time to stand there and think, but.. afterwards, I had this strong feeling of how instantly you can be swept off this planet. A feeling of perhaps respect to that factor, and a deeper understanding that life must be respected. (to our knowledge, you only have one).
    Additionally, it reinforced my ideas that war and killing in the name of war are dread-some and horrible affairs. I luckily only had to do my service as a conscript and mainly my activities were safe.
Load more comments…