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kain ramsay

Life & Leadership Coach, Kain Ramsay Life Balance Coaching

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Are we Human Beings or Human Doings?

I have yet to attend a networking event or random introduction where I've encountered anyone, upon the initial exchanging of pleasantries, to share openly, about who they actually are, opposed to what it is that they do in life.

I am taking for granted here that one of our primary goals in life is to be liked and ultimately accepted by others.

I wonder what would happen if we were to exchange our cultural norm of defining ourselves to others by disclosing ‘the things that we do’, with simply defining ourselves to others by disclosing ‘who we actually are’?

If this was to become a new cultural habit, would this mean that in turn, people would become more congruent and effective in their relationships and throughout the other most important areas of our lives?

There’s 1,000,001 definitions of success available to us in offline and online, however I wonder that if we were to learn how to clearly define who it is that we are as Human Beings, opposed to building our personal standards upon the things that we do as Human Doings, would this leave people available to live more confident and stress free lives?


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    Nov 14 2013: How do you separate doing from being? To me one determines the other and both are inseparable from one another as two sides of the same coin.

    Try just 'to be' without doing something and you may find this to be as impossible as I found, it is.

    Or are you running a promotion campaign for 'lip-service' here'? ;o)
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      Nov 14 2013: Lejan,
      You ask..."how do you separate doing from being?". I agree that they are inseparable....except in our perception. Everything we do is part of who we are, because in my perception, everything we do contributes to who we are.

      Two sides of the same coin as you say....which side of the coin are we looking at in any given moment? By looking at different sides, we see something different....do we not?

      We are thinking, feeling, intelligent, multi sensory, multi dimensional human beings, with many different "parts" of our "self". We can observe what we are "doing", and label ourselves based on that one facet, and/or we can observe all the different adventures as part of the whole of who we are.....make any sense?
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      Nov 14 2013: That's a great question & is one that took me a number of years to understand.

      In what may be a long winded attempt in answering this, I'd be happy to share my story.

      For over 8 years of my life I served in the British Army as a Soldier. In this time I defined myself as a Soldier.

      Upon leaving the Army I spent over 7 years in unfulfilling roles of which I tried to 'define myself' as to others, such as a financial consultant, a car salesman, a marketing consultant or even a cherry picker (and I did actually do this for a season), I felt pretty low and insignificant based upon the level of self value that I felt as a Soldier.

      The problem was that I left the army for a reason, being that I no longer wanted to be a soldier!

      As you may imagine, this left me with some serious mental and emotional problems - the things that I had done with my life until now were not congruent with who I believed myself to be (of which I'd never even actually defined).

      Upon meeting a very wise man in the midst of my worldwide travels in search for this answer, I was asked a profound and life changing question:

      "If you were to define yourself NOT by what you do in life but by WHO you actually know yourself to be, who is that person?"

      I can promise you that this answer did not come to me fast, but over the period of about two years, I grew to realise that I am loving person, an honest person, a reliable person, a creative person, a genuine person, a sincere person, a passionate person, a caring person, a pro-active person and not your average 'run of the mill' guy.

      Upon this revelation of who I was, everything about my life changed.

      Today, 'What I do' with my life stems from the core of 'Who I am',

      My name is Kain Ramsay and I am a Life Balance Coach, Passionate about helping people to discovering a true Identity and a reason for living.

      What I do with my life today, is based solely on who I know myself to be.

      I hope this answers your question,


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