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What are the three things you believe are most important in making a relationship better? What have been your experiences?

In my fifties, I have discovered a GREAT relationship. However, I thought I had it before, and for a variety of reasons, those relationships failed. Looking back, I can see why, and I know that although I had my failings, a couple of times those relationship failures had nothing to do with me - circumstances over which I had no direct control intervened and changed everything.

However, now I have found what I was really looking for and we are married, committed to each other "for this world and the next", which we put into our wedding vows.

The three things I place most importance on are:
1: Listening. I now take time to listen intently to what Susan is talking about. There's a couple of reasons, not the least being that she is incredibly intelligent and is always worth listening to. However, it's always interesting - she is from the far side of the planet to me, a 12 hour time zone difference, and there is so much we want to learn about each other's different life experiences.
2: Time to talk and share. Not just time watching TV, but time invested in doing things together, such as developing the business, discussing strategies, as well as talking about life, family, what to do at Christmas, and much more. Time to share, to express and to just BE together.
2: Honesty. We had a learning experience early on, when I had some issues with an Ex that I thought I could resolve on my own. Bad move. Susan not only had better ideas about it, she understood the other end of the situation, being female, and could make suggestions that worked. However, not telling her everything early on delayed the resolution and hurt her too, as she wondered firstly if there were trust issues, and secondly, she wondered if there was "anything else!"

What are the three things that you believe are most important in improving a relationship, or repairing/retrieving a failed relationship?

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  • Nov 23 2013: Lovely sentiments Amy. On my phone, the photo I have is of my bride on our wedding day. When anyone sees my phone, that is what they see - and I think she's stunning! The inside picture when the phone is opened, is a picture of us early in our relationship - rotates bewtween one on top of MLC tower overlookng Sydney Harbour, the other a photo of us in our garden - a selfie! Your point - remember where you started. Love it.

    Accdeptance - absolutely. I'm no oil painting and I don't expect it, in any area of life, but I love being loved for who I really am! Susan knows who I am, and STILL loves me! That's gotta be a turn on - someone who is that crazy - or that in love with me, is someone I want to spend the rest of my life with...

    We are both private people so this has been huge for us. We have some very close friends and we share with them, but nothing private that would embarras either of us, and we see it in others and note the trouble it causes.

    That's probably a huge key too - look at what is NOT working for others - AND DON'T DO IT in your own relationship! Heaven knows, there's enough bad examples out there!

    Many thanks for your comments - greatly appreciated - next time I blog on www.lifechange90.com about this topic, I'll be putting these comments in.

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