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greg dahlen

Alumnus, academy of achievement

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what do you do in your pajamas and bathrobe?

One day I was tired and was staying home most of the day. I realized I needed to go to the market across the street for a few things, but then I would come home again and stay home. I asked myself should I change from my pajamas to go to the market, but then I thought I would just have to change back when I returned home. So I just went to the market in my pajamas and bathrobe. True, it drew some giggles, but people seemed to be laughing with me, not at me.

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  • Nov 9 2013: sleeping,reading,talking to my family members.
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      Nov 9 2013: Thanks, edulover, I hadn't thought about the conventional things one does in one's pajamas and bathrobe. How about unusual things, do you ever go out in public in pajamas and bathrobe?

      I think a woman might get more criticized if she went to the grocery store in her pajamas and bathrobe than a man would. Do you agree? Why is that? Maybe she seems more vulnerable that way, like she is asking to be raped?
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        Nov 11 2013: Do you think the concept of 'asking to be raped' is a valid one? If so, what has a heterosexual male prisoner to wear to get some of his inmates going for an answer?

        Besides that, I wouldn't mind anyone in public wearing their pajamas and bathrobe.
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          Nov 11 2013: Lejan ., can you give me more info on your question, "Do (I) think the concept of 'asking to be raped' is a valid one?" I wasn't saying that a woman wearing her pajamas and bathrobe to do her grocery shopping is asking to be raped, I'm just thinking some people might (mis)perceive her that way. In this situation a woman might be more vulnerable for not conforming, whereas a man can get away with it.

          You wouldn't mind someone in public wearing their pajamas and bathrobe, but could you do it, or would you be too self-conscious, feel too silly? But what if it saved you the effort of changing clothes twice?
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        Nov 11 2013: Yes Greg, I will give you more info on my question.

        The phrase you used I heard several times in the context of real rape trials, mainly given by the defending attorney from the rapist side, trying to reduce the guilt of its client by partially blaming the victim herself. And this only when the victim is a woman and never when the victim is a man.

        To me this argument is not just complete nonsense but also highly dangerous, as it not only introduce a non valid guild reversal, yet also relieves rapist of their very own responsibility for their sexual behavior and violence. And since the invention of masturbation, this can't be! And this is not meant as a joke!

        How could anyone possibly (mis)perceive a woman in such a way, that she is asking to be raped? There is no such thing, as rape is the violent enforcement of intercourse, and nobody could possibly be perceived under no given circumstances to actually want that!

        Therefore I felt highly uncomfortable when I read that you were using the same 'spin phrase' in your comment, which made me ask you directly about your view on its 'validity' to see, if you actually agree on this 'concept' or used it without negative intention yet by unreflected 'common' usage.


        Regarding me and pajamas and bathrobes is to say, that I don't use both of them anymore since early childhood and would therefore feel pretty silly in public, if I was wearing what I wear instead - underpants and T-shirt, whereas the latter would be less of my concern.
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          Nov 11 2013: well, if someone has brought a charge of rape against someone, that shows that they did not want to be raped, correct? No, Lejan ., it just seems to me that people might be more critical of a woman here in the States who only went in her bathrobe and pajamas, more critical than they would be of a man, I was hoping to see what others thought of that.

          I think we think of Germany as a slightly stiff country, thus people would not like someone shopping in their bathrobe and pajamas, man or woman? Perhaps this is incorrect. Are there nude beaches in Germany, we have them in Southern California in somewhat hidden locations. I have gone and gotten nude, I enjoyed it immensely. When I went to the ocean I found they had given us nude people a less desirable section as the ground under the water was all tiny rocks rather than sand. But I still enjoyed.

          I wish I could go naked to the grocery if I wanted to. I'm thinking the concern might be more of a sanitation issue than an aesthetic one, in other words you might sit on something and get some fecal stains on it. But you know, even if you sleep in your underwear, putting on a bathrobe and tying it would hide it. This might be less effort than putting on all your clothes. But maybe people would be too critical if you tried to shop like that, here I found people kind of liked it, I think it breaks people out of the rut of everybody doing the same thing the same way, it shows them there is another way to do it.
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        Nov 12 2013: Due to the help of sub-cultures, such as Punks, which formed in Germany within the 80s as well as by an ever changing fashion industry, the overall indignation threshold has risen quite a bit in Germany since. There are certainly some dress-code expectations still, here and there, yet the general public has become quite tolerant today.

        As long as people aren't naked - which is considered public nuisance by law - people are quite save in their pajamas and face as wide a scope of critique - from smile to disgust - as usual within any grouping of people.

        Personally I don't pay much if any attention to what people are wearing, as this is not important to me, and only notice it every now and then, when a nice arrangement seems to resonate as a whole with an individual. Yet this isn't often and probably just me, making this up.

        There are many nude beaches in Germany and even a whole sub-culture which formed around it, which is named FKK, which stands for Freie (Free) Körper (body) Kultur (culture). Due to the given laws, those beaches have to be marked as such, to avoid confusion, yet I have also seen woman sunbathing topless at 'normal' beaches or in parks, without causing any outcry by other people. Probably because topless in only 'half' naked for a woman, whereas man are not expected to cover their nipples.

        A bathrobe is somewhat a relative of the Japanese Kimono or the Indian Sari or Persian Kurta and may well be discovered by western fashion designers one day for its practical function.
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          Nov 12 2013: Thanks, Lejan .. Now you told me you damaged your hearing by sitting near the speakers at concerts? What sort of music was that?

          I am quite surprised that you don't notice what people are wearing. To me what people are wearing is part of the environment, also a statement on creativity and personality. What aspects of your environment do draw your interest when you go out?

          I wonder, perhaps people don't replace their bathrobe very often? So perhaps designers don't play with it very much?
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        Nov 12 2013: I was joking when I mentioned that I damaged my hearing while I was dancing in front of a speaker in my teenage years. Hearing tests later in life confirmed proper hearing according to my age now, yet the music then was typically 80s. And it was not at a concert, but every now and then a visit in a discotheque at the weekend.

        Maybe it is those statements on creativity and personality which makes me realize every now and then what people are wearing, yet the usual and average jeans & shirts fraction doesn't trigger my attention.

        I notice style by its looks only, not by its logo, which has become an epidemic in the last decades to sew the labels on the outside, not in the inside anymore. Most of what we see today are advertising pillars and less individual creations, which may be the reason why my senses dulled. A friend of mine makes her dresses herself, and some of them I noticed and liked very much, because they perfectly matched her character, if this could be seen in cloth at all.

        I think you are right that 'people don't replace their bathrobe very often' and I assume this is related to the fact, that they don't wear them very often, at least on average, I would assume. If this was true, bathrobes then last longer and get replaced less often, which may gives designers some market signals in general.

        Lets wait till Apple makes them, then they'll boom ... :o)
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          Nov 13 2013: thanks, Lejan .. well, I was thinking that whatever music you were listening to you were exposed to the particular fashion styles of that scene, every music seems to have its certain fashion. In most cases if one likes the music one likes the fashion, and vice versa, agreed?

          Well, I'm quite interested in seeing even the jeans and shirt look, to me it does have some creativity and self-expression. For example, we can see a choice of colors, plus the combination of colors, choice of materials particularly in the shirt, perhaps the shirt has some kind of artwork, also some people wear jewelry, expensive or inexpensive, this is interesting. Also we can probably include hair and grooming in fashion, are you interested in hair styles for example?

          What is your own fashion style? Does it feel creative and self-expressive to you? What does it express? What music do you listen to now, and do you like the fashion of that scene?

          I have never bought a bathrobe. One I have I inherited when my grandpa died, and then one when my dad died. I don't know if there are ones that have interesting designs, mine are all pretty plain. When I see men in photographs in their bathrobe, they are pretty plain as well. Possibly men don't want bathrobes with a lot of design, this might suggest that they are going to spend the day in their bathrobe, and men don't want to be seen this way?

          I recall that Kurt Cobain of the rock group Nirvana would occasionally wear women's dress onstage to show his solidarity with women. Also I have seen him photographed in his pajamas, thus we see he had some freedom of dress. I remember I bought a lavender umbrella to show solidarity with gays, as here lavender is sometimes thought to be a color gay men like.
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        Nov 13 2013: I think the combination of fashion and music today is a marketing strategy intended to sell products in combination with a certain lifestyle, a certain illusion which is artificially created by specialists around and even for certain musicians and music groups to target their audiences. Especially young audiences, as these are still influenceable as their individual style has not yet consolidated.

        Logically there is no relation between music and cloth, as both serve complete different purposes, yet teenagers may feel closer to their musical idols by copying their looks, which in return sets the style of the 'scene'. The music industry knows about these mechanisms and manipulates it around certain artists to look & feel natural, although its a plain marketing strategy based on 'cross-pollination' and trend-scouting.

        Hair styles and me are incompatible ever since as my hair does what it likes and both of us agreed finally on our given symbiosis without fighting each other anymore for domination. It keeps my head warm in winter and shaded in the sun and I in return feed it with what it needs. Thats the compromise so far before it falls out or turns completely gray.

        Fashion and me is difficult as well because I barely find cloth which I instantly like, as this turned out to be my best adviser. Yet the pattern behind what I like I couldn't figure out in detail although I could explain to you why I don't like what I don't like. Color wise my favorite tones are natural, earthy or black (which is not considered a color) and the material should have a nice touch & feel and should not contain much plastic. Style wise I like all time classics, simplicity, practicality, durability and, if any, just small decorative elements, such as a decent embroidery or embossing in leather.

        I also once inherited a beautiful bathrobe by a relative of mine and kept it because of its beauty in my 'memory box'. And in case I ever change my current habit then I already have a nice one. :)
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          Nov 14 2013: Well, what is the illusion you are talking about, Lejan .? You are saying that if a pop singer generally wears beautiful, comfortable clothing, and she is depicted as having many friends and going to many parties, that this is not true, that in real life she doesn't have many friends or go to many parties? It's a bit hard for me to say if musicians have many friends or go to many parties, as I have not hung out with any prominent musicians.

          I would tend to think that if you wear beautiful, interesting clothing, it is easier to make beautiful, interesting music, that the clothing, the image of yourself in your mind, stimulates your mind, and also influences other people where they are inclined to give you more, share more with you, help you more. Or, if you look excited and exciting, you feel excited. But you disagree, you believe a person could make the most exciting music in the most ordinary clothing?

          My wardrobe tends toward comfort rather than great beauty. Lately I am trying to make my image more exciting by each day wearing a badge, in years I have acquired some badges from different travels and experiences that I can pin to my shirt.

          Well, the bathrobe what if people came to see you unexpectedly and you were in your underwear, you would not throw on the bathrobe to host them?

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