Yoka Feng

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What do you think makes a man happiest?A romantic relationship?Enough Money?A happy Family?Alcohol?or...…??

A recent study by Oxford researcher Robin Dunbar claims a man’s happiness, health and well-being don’t revolve around his romantic relationship or his kids or even his bank balance. The key is getting together with buddies and enjoying the kinds of things they do together, such as golf. Dunbar said men with those regular outlets also tend to be more generous.

Do you agree? When I saw this news from Msn Now, I was a little surprised. So I'd like to hear your voices on this interesting topic.:) And What do you think a man's partner do that will drive him to prefer to night out with their buddies most indirectly?I hope your view on these would help to enhance the good understanding on men and eliminate some misunderstandings between women and men and bring us more harmony to the world.

Thank you~~(^-^)

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    Oct 27 2013: true love is not disappearing...

    my wife and i met 30 september 2012, she proposed the same night, i accepted...
    we got married 31 october 2012... our daughter was born 30 september 2013 19:00
    this is exactly 1yr to the hour we met for our first date....

    i still do exactly the same things as i did before we met, that is sports and pass times (not pastimes)
    true love is about knowing yourself and your partner, and knowing that in life obstacles are simply that... challenges which can be overcome... our baby girl is now the priority

    what i can say is age is an important factor... compare adulthood to childhood
    at the age of starting adultry(lol) its the same as being an infant in the adult world...

    you need to crawl before you can run all over again learn independence, responsibility, etc...

    personally when you in your twenty-something years this is the crawling phase when you learn outside the nest
    your 30-something years is your walking years when you should be taking responsibility for your actions and decisions... not all of us learn to walk the same... notice how we all walk differently??? (literal)
    40-something+ years -the running phase- we are responsible for our actions and who we are - not everyone runs at the same pace or speed, or can run for that matter

    age is an important factor to his research... how old are people involved in the research
    life experience is another factor to consider... as in what have they done and what is their outlook on life

    culturally...
    rights of passage have changed from the "so-called" archaic spiritual connection to adulthood - vision quest of finding your purpose
    to the reckless drinking, sex and chasing material possessions, even idol worship of "famous" people trying to emulate them

    so on a lighter note:
    children have as much fun in childhood... as adults have in adultry (LOL)
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      Oct 27 2013: Congratulations on your marriage and becoming a dad to your baby girl!! It sounds like you have found gold in a wife and she in you. I am very happy for you three.

      We need more successful male role models, which society seems to not have provided (for a couple of generations). So I appreciate you sharing this real story.

      I agree "children have as much fun in childhood as adults (can) have in adulthood " …...and " comparing adulthood to childhood at the age of starting adulthood, its the same as being an infant in the adult world.." That makes wonderful sense to me. Adulthood can be every bit as amazing as childhood:-)
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        Oct 28 2013: Hi, Juliette~,
        I agree with Carlo that childhood is the happiest time in our life. Your joke on the words-spelling also made me :).
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        Oct 28 2013: i had a maths teacher who would crack jokes while teaching... this made me love maths
        he is a math genius still tutoring university and school students

        it was a play on words... which made him go oops - adulthood

        but you get the punch
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          Oct 28 2013: Truly Beautiful! Growing up from being a boy to a man …..
          (also truly beautiful growing up from being a girl to a woman)

          Good role models have been missing in the past couple of generations. I don't know where it started, but suddenly we look around and see single mothers, missing fathers. We wonder what happened to families, fatherhood and manhood. This had left the male child to find his own way out of a maze on the boy-to-manhood-path. Society as a whole lost out.

          I can't tell you how happy it makes me each time I see a man who comes back and shares the truth of the blessing that it is to be a mature adult man (after having found his way to a great marriage and has become a father). This is a sign that the cycle of loss is broken. This is a sign of a healthy new society. Our society needs new mentors. Little brothers (and sisters) need healthy male (and female) role models.
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      Oct 28 2013: Thank you Carlo~, always gratitude to your pleasant comment!:)
      I'd like to say before this thread, I didn't know you're male, married and even have a baby now. So thank you so much for sacrificing your privacy for sharing your story with us.

      How wonderful to see you can even remember the birth time of you baby, I think you have your true love to your family members.I think I have been encouraged to believe there's true love existing. :)

      I agree age is also an very important element in men's judegemt of happiness. So it's interesting to see comments from people in different age levels.

      Thank you again and wish your family all a happy life~:)
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        Oct 28 2013: i prefer to comment from a personal perspective...
        i notice many people would comment on things they read or research, but not personal experience

        thank you... maybe we will meet someday
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          Oct 29 2013: Personal experience is most precious.
          Yes, everything is possible~. Glad to meet you that day~.:)
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      Oct 28 2013: I foresee good means to an end with your family like every family. However, here is just a small glimpse of reality I wish I knew before I started with my family.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce_demography

      Best chances! I guess we all take this risk at some point in our lives.
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        Oct 29 2013: A little sad news but worth referring to. This is kinda a wet blanket.
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    Oct 25 2013: there a lots of things which make a man happy....
    although it differs for everyone...
    what robin dunbar is citing is more of relaxing and stress relief for men
    if we do things that relax us, of course we will be happiest getting rid of that tension and stress

    life is not as easy as we make it sound...
    get a job, earn some money, meet the womyn of your dreams(eventually... one day), have a family...

    you hate your job, but you need money??? no money no honey... or you love the job you in but it does not pay enough...take up a hobby to find happiness elsewhere
    meeting the womyn of your dreams, you had to endure trial and error of relations and heartbreak... drink and party to forget or do something stupid to forget like skydiving without a parachute
    family... no-one said that at birth there is nothing you can do to ease your wifes pain... drink to celebrate and party off the stress of your wife's child birthing experience

    there are too many external superficial distractions for us to focus on true inner happiness
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      Oct 25 2013: Hi Carlo,
      I think your contribution points to the fact that (as Robert Galway says above) happiness IS an inside job. Most of the external superficial distractions you list only make sense if you are unhappy first - they don't solve anything, they only give temporary relief. This might be necessary in the short term, but in the long term everyone has to find happiness within. Generally it starts with being authentic to yourself, and takes some time to grow.
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        Oct 26 2013: the question is happiest... not happiness

        it's easy to generalise when when not on point.

        what makes me happiest is:
        surfing...trying to catch a wave, being pummeled in the process, sitting with hundreds of individuals waiting for a wave,...
        skating...reaching speeds of 60 km/h+, not knowing if i'll wipe out around the next corner...

        happiest is a self indulgent happiness

        what makes you happiest???
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          Oct 26 2013: Hello Carlo,
          Thanks for correcting me; happiness is very different from happiest.
          Answer: sailing my ancient boat, writing poetry, creating a sculpture.
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          Oct 26 2013: Thank you for clarifying for my thread. Yes, it's about the HAPPIEST~!

          Your answer is much appreciated. So according to your answer, it seems to be right that men enjoy the happy time with their buddies doing something together most. Am I right?or you do it alone?If I have mistaken you, please kindly correct me.:)
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        Oct 26 2013: Thank you,Joshua~, I now realize that you're a male. :))))
        You foreigners' name always make me feel confused. I'm glad I know more about you now.
        Thank you for your candor and looking forward to your answer.
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          Oct 26 2013: Hello Yoka,
          I'm very much an introvert and I enjoy solitude; my wife likewise, that's why we're happily married.
          What makes me happiest is doing something creative (hence writing poetry, and making sculptures) which I do on my own. Sailing the old boat is better with two people.
          I am not your buddy-buddy type of guy, but I am part of a "men's group" and the five of us meet together every two weeks to talk about whatever is on our minds and hearts at the time. These are my buddies. It is a meeting place of trust, vulnerability, confidentiality, compassionate listening and non-judgement - all of which I believe are essential experiences of any human in opening the door to greater happiness in general. We also all have land here in central Portugal, and help each other out with looking after it (instead of playing golf).
          As Carlo points out, the example you gave in your introduction is more to do with men relaxing together, getting away from their stressful jobs. Such times are quite likely to be labeled "happiest times" because of the relief they give from work-stress.
          In more general terms I am happiest when I am being authentic, being true to myself. I think ultimately that is the case for all people.
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        Oct 27 2013: Thanks Joshua~, you have a very happy life both with your wife and your buddies. That's a good example of the harmony in a man's happiness. You made a good point that men need their time to relieve their work-stress and you showed us the way to deal with it between self,family and your friends. I think you also did a very important thing: Chose a right person to be your wife.:)

        I really admire your happy life activities.:)
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          Oct 28 2013: Well, Yoka, I didn't get it right first time around but I guess being 20 years older second time around I was a bit more wise and made a better choice. Thanks for your reply.
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        Oct 29 2013: Thank you for sharing ~. Sometimes people have to spend some time to find their true love and happiness.
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    Nov 1 2013: For me Meeting with my Buddies, Is the best. It make me very much happy. I will give away everything to be with them.
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      Nov 4 2013: Thank you Kulddeep~!
      Your answer reflects your clear sunny personality again. I think Mr. dunbar will be very glad to see it and be one of your buddies.:)
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    Oct 27 2013: Most comedians, both male and female, will tell you that most important 'thing' to a man's happiness is his penis. I confess, I have one, and for many of my earlier years it was central to my own sense of well being, although the happiness was usually fleeting and was affected by a lot of other factors as well.

    but since I turned 50, many years ago i might add, sex and my penis have become less and less important to that well being, other than how often and how long I have to pee. And I must add, without that nagging distraction of sexual attraction and interest contentment and peace of mind have become my central focus and interest. Happiness is a passing experience, while contentment and peace of mind can become very pleasant constants indeed. But that the peace and contentment with life that I talk about is all about how my own inner processes and how I have dealt with them over the years rather than any external factors.

    So I would suggest that age and experience are going to have a significant correlation to people's answers as well as how well or how poorly they are able to deal with their own inner self. .
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      Oct 28 2013: Thank you william~
      You made a point that men are not only advanced animals but also social animals. Their most happiness could be different from that of the animals. You also put a stress on inner happiness is generated by itself(your mind).I agree with you that people with different life experiences would have the different answers to the quesiton. So up till now, we have had the factors of cultural background, age and life experiences.
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    W. Ying

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    Oct 27 2013: ..

    Happiness is the short-time feeling of things
    being a-step-better for keeping our DNA alive.

    The quantity of happiness increases
    mainly with the frequency of the steps and
    less with the size of the step.


    Hence, a man needs symbiosis with friends
    to get the necessities for his family easier.
    Tell it to your wife.
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      Oct 27 2013: I think your reply reflects traditional Chinese people's opinion.
      " get the necessities for his family easier.
      Tell it to your wife." This is a good way to mutual-understanding.

      Thank you~
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    Oct 26 2013: live the moment like a kid...
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      Oct 26 2013: When do you feel like that you were a child in your daily life? And with whom?
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    Oct 25 2013: i'm going with alcohol
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      Oct 25 2013: cheers :o)
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      Oct 25 2013: Short-term solution; and lots of short-term solutions don't add up to a long-term solution - just a headache.
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      Oct 25 2013: Hey guys,
      Your insightful views definitely eliminate some misunderstandings between women and men and bring us more harmony...LOL:>)
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      Oct 26 2013: Thank you for your reply~:)
      Sounds a little lonely~. :)))))Do you drink alone or with friends? Your buddies or females?

      Because this may be important to some related answer, if you can provide your true feeling it'll be much appreciated and helpful. Thank you~
  • Oct 31 2013: Yoka, you asked,

    "What do you think his partner do would drive the man to prefer to night out with their buddies most?"

    Nothing........why would the partner "Drive" the other partner to seek buddies?

    Perhaps the getting together with buddies, is to continue nurturing friendships.

    Where is it written that once a human has a partner we have to let go of our other friendships?

    I think it is like losing our individuality, our sense of self. I don't think in today's world, with the abundance of psychological knowledge we have about contentment and happiness, anyone would actually still continue to live by those old "rules of conduct", that once you are married, or with a partner, you are supposed to do everything together.

    Balance is very important........... I think.......
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      Oct 31 2013: "why would the partner "Drive" the other partner to seek buddies?"
      I didn't mean this , I mean when a man is with his female partner, what does the partner do to him will make the man feel unhappy and choose to avoid being with her and hang out with his buddies instead. Maybe his partner doesn't realize it could make him unhappy so we can find the problem.

      Thank you Mary for letting me know the different understanding on this.Yes, balance is very important, we should try to find it.:)
      • Oct 31 2013: Got it...............So what you really want to know is "what could drive a man to spend less time with his wife/girlfriend and more time with his male friends?"
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          Nov 1 2013: Yes, Mary, but the "what"is related to the wife/girlfriend's habit in treating their partners. A simple example is nagging. I know in China men don't like their wives nagging them about some daily trifles. But this is in China and I think in western countries,there may be some other reasons as well. I'd like to hear more pour-out on this.:)
      • Nov 1 2013: There is a comedian here in the US who does a skit called "Happy Wife, Happy Life".
        If the wife is nagging.........whose fault do you think it is?

        Marriage and relationships in general is union of two imperfect individuals.
        BOTH have to do their share.

        I am not defending either side....but I hate for the burden to be on the girl :(

        It takes two to tango.....
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          Nov 1 2013: Yes, I know,Mary~ It's just a process of listening, I didn't mean to draw a conclusion on women's fault. I'd like to be a listener.
          Thank you~.
      • Nov 1 2013: You know, here in the states there are so many different cultures.

        And there are cultural groups where the male is the nagger.....sometimes it is both....the man and the woman..

        It will be nice to hear from men on your question.........I will be listening too!! :)

        Thanks.
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          Nov 1 2013: Yes, I'd like to listen to possible debates in your or others' culture between men or women,too.:)
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  • Oct 29 2013: All of the above. Unless your an eskimo.
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    Oct 28 2013: I don't think men can be generalised into a standard box, any more than women can, or would want to be. You may find that many do fit the findings in the study, but others don't - or won't.

    Masculinity, though obviously a biological imperative, is also a cultural construct - the modern version of which gives credence to and perpetuates the current patriarchy. This standardised brand of masculinity is almost a handy 'team badge' to wear in order to ensure that the gender divisions are kept separate. I'm afraid studies like this only serve to deepen these divisions and misunderstandings, because it legitimises them.

    I have a healthy dislike of being pigeonholed by anybody, especially by studies like this, into being a golf loving, beer-swilling, tatooed misogynist whose generosity quotient is somehow determined by how often I buddy up with my mates at the pub (a contradiction in terms, if ever I heard one).

    Well, here's someone whose happiness, health and well-being depends on the opposite of Mr Dunbar's findings. I am useless at golf, the romantic relationship with my wife is important to me, but so too is her and my independence. I am very proud of my son and have a great relationship with him, I appreciate friendships but also the opportunity for solitude. I like the simple things in life, and only occasionally get sucked in by the lure of 'stuff'...

    I think harmony depends on the celebration and appreciation of gender difference - NOT the ridiculous, stodgy prospect of 'equality'. That demands a different brand of masculinity than we have today.
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      Oct 29 2013: Thank you for your comment. I see another happy family in harmonious relationship.
      I feel very happy for you and I like your attitude towards the gender difference, if the masculinity could be in accordance with men's tenderness and care to women, I think it'll bring us more happy families.
      So you don't believe the result of the research either, thank you for your analysis on this.
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    Oct 28 2013: I do agree to the study to some extent loosely. I believe it is more about getting together with people in close relation and doing something together as many of us did when we were kids. This is when competition was much less important and more about doing was prevail. As far as pleasing of appetites and loving his family and children, well...greatly depends on the individual.
  • Oct 27 2013: I think what Dunbar was measuring was the relief of control. When you are in a group of close male friends, you can say and do things without worrying about offending someone, especially someone of the other sex. It is a release. Unfortunately, with the online world, even in a group, you never know who is taking a video.
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      Oct 28 2013: Thank you wayne~!
      It's interesting~, you mentioned an online night out. So I think "night out" in my thread should be some healthy activities with their buddies(golf, pool,poker......) If it's to do with other women, I think it'll cause trouble. I think most women parterners won't agree with that .
      • Oct 28 2013: yup night out usually means poker, golf,, playing football, etc.
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          Oct 28 2013: Good, I got it.:))

          Thank you ~!:)
  • Oct 26 2013: contentment

    “Wanting is pain”- Paramhansa Yogananda
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    Oct 26 2013: Harmony is both subjective and objective, I should say. Worldwide? Impossible.
    I agree with carlo randall's comments.
  • Oct 26 2013: Enough money Though once you pass a certain level It drops.
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      Oct 26 2013: Thank you for your honesty.:)))) I always like enough money too.
      • Oct 27 2013: Thanks but in all fairness I am not sure these are all independent variables.
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    Oct 25 2013: haha - oxford researcher. what do they do other than perpetuate stereotypes.

    i can say, without a doubt, that it depends entirely on the individual :)
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      Oct 26 2013: The same to you. Please give me YOUR answer.

      Please think it over.:))))

      Thank you very much~!
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    Lejan .

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    Oct 25 2013: It all depends
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      Oct 26 2013: I personally think my topic has made you think but you just disguised your true feeling. Come on, fess up~! I need your answer.
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        Oct 26 2013: You can not be serious to expect any other answer from me about what makes 'a man happiest' than the one I already gave you. Or do you collect stereotypes and generalizations? Yoka, I know you know better than you pretend.
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          Oct 27 2013: Please don't get me wrong Lejan, I just want to see the new trend of men's happiness in our society. And I think it's also possible that if a man is under too much stress busy working, he'll even not be able to think about what makes him happy,he just lives his life without knowing if he changes something, he could be happy.This question can make him think and be aware of their own needs and problems in life.
          Your last sentence seems a little interesting, what do you mean by "pretend"?
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        Lejan .

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        Oct 27 2013: By 'pretend' I mean, that I think you are aware about the general scope about your question.

        Questions like 'What is the favorite color of humans' are prone to return no useful answer, by the intrinsic individuality of favors and dislikes among all humans.

        Asking what makes 'a man' happiest is doing the same thing, because in the given context 'a man' means every man and therefore does not allow to return for any more meaningful result but generalizations and stereotypes.

        Man are different and what makes you happy may be just plain boring to me, and vice versa.

        So if you are interested in trends, as you said you are, your question should have asked 'if you are a man, what makes YOU happy' and then analyze and compare individual responses to see if a certain modern trend can be found.

        Also it would have been necessary to somehow point out, that someone who was going to answer this modified question would have to think at least twice, as he may be not fully aware of what really makes him happy, because he may be one of those who 'just lives his life without knowing'.

        Unreflected answers would spoil your analysis for trends and thereby create false conclusions, which you could not detect, as you can not know whose answer was 'true' and reflected, and whose answer was just given by a stressed out working male individual. Tricky either way indeed.
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          Oct 28 2013: Yes, I have the general scope about my quesiton, but I want to know which will be the most in proportion. Unfortunately, I couldn't start an anonymous poll here. That's my initial thought. And I'm sorry to have represented the thread in a way causing misunderstanding, but I still think the alternatives are simple, love relationship, money..... I didn't mean to delve into people's privacy, just curious about their choice. Just as you said what makes me think maybe means zip to you, so if you 're not interested, you can just pass and keep silent. Sorry for any impoliteness in my question that may have made you feel uneasy.
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        Oct 28 2013: Yoka, there is nothing impolite in your question at all and I did answer it. But my answer didn't seem to be of that sort you may have expected and I was trying to make you understand what my intention was. If your question would have made me feel uneasy, I would not have answered it, so no need to worry at all.
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          Oct 28 2013: Thank you for your magnanimous style~.
          I also like to say that if the result is true ,maybe it could be a revolution in men and women's realationship. Just as that many years ago, people couldn't accept gaydar. But as the scientific research revealed it's a reasonable phenomenon and part of human's nature, more and more people can accept it and live a happy life. That is the revolutional change. Sometimes I think some new concept can help people to change. And I think that's possibly the reason why Mr. Dubar did the research and released the result.
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      Oct 26 2013: it all depends...
      are you true to yourself or 50+ with nothing of value
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        Oct 26 2013: Why should I not be true to myself? Because I am not giving stereotype and generalized answers here of the sort of drugs, sex, guns, sport cars and motorbikes? Is it this what you are missing?
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          Oct 26 2013: it all depends...

          can you eloquate an answer or do you regurgitate text...

          i.e. you cannot think for yourself, therefore you have no answer except rhetoric...

          statistically speaking, should you generalise your answer to drugs sex and transport, you have stereotyped yourself as a person lacking substance

          you would judge on accolade(50+) not achievement or experience

          you can lie to others, but you cannot lie to yourself...

          why would you not be truthful to yourself?

          it all depends
          ...maybe trying to be intelligent is what makes you happiest
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        Lejan .

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        Oct 26 2013: Carlo, it may help if you let us know what your problem is. Maybe we can help you?
  • Oct 25 2013: I think happiness is an inside job. You need to be at peace with yourself, happy with your actions, your contribution to society, and the decisions you made in life. Things like poker games, golf, fishing and romantic experiences are events to look forward to, enjoy, remember, and repeat to the extent they bring you pleasure and can be balanced with those things that must be done to survive, should be done to maintain a good quality of life, and can be done to create a comfortable life-style. Alcohol is more of a means to escape by numbing the senses.
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      Oct 26 2013: Thank you Robert~! Nice to see your comment.
      Please allow me to ask you to answer it in a simpler way, which makes you the happiest generally in your life? I think inside job must be done with the outside.:)
      • Oct 26 2013: Yes, you need to be in harmony with nature and other people. I left that out of my response.

        I was trying to make a point that you need to be happy with yourself first. So many times people are unhappy with something external that is going on, when the real problem is that they are unhappy with themselves for some reason.

        Good question by the way.
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    Oct 25 2013: Yoka,

    This is very interesting question. I do think often about point of human happiness. Of course, you are can do a lot of things if you have money, health, partner.... But people usually forget why do they chase for those things, forget the fact that those things are supposed to make them happy, so they are forming something, and in the end, they do not enjoy in those things.... Those things Dunbar have listed,are social imposed list of priorities but, they aren't the key of happiness. In fact, they are the key of feeling peacefully.

    Then I start to think what makes me really happy.
    I always catch my self that I'm incredibly happy when it is sunny day, when it's late autumn and colorful leafs are falling...When its spring and everything smells perfect, and flowers are all around...
    I am happy, when my body sends me the message that I have a lot of reasons to be happy. And it's not materials reasons. The main reason is chance to create your happiness. Work on something you love is point of happiness. Make you feel joy. Make you feel useful. And small little things of everyday life.
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      Oct 26 2013: I also think this is an interesting topic.:)
      And I think you're female, right?Thank you for sharing your feeling and understanding of happiness. I think when I imagine the happiness you described, I'm also happy.
      But I'd like to hear more about what do you think makes a MAN HAPPIEST. I think male and female must have different perspectives and perceptions on some issues. And if we can bring them out and discuss a little maybe it'll be good for both of us.

      Thank you for your comment again~
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        Oct 26 2013: Yoka :)

        Yes, I'm female.

        But, I have numerous male friends, so I can try to help you, by mine impression and experience about what's the point of males happiness.

        I believe that mail happiness is much simplified, and that is not material.
        I mean that almost every male in the planet love hedonistic pleasures. Eating good. Drinking good. Hanging out. And it's enough for their happiness.

        One of the rare material pleasures that makes them really happy, are the cars. :)

        Also, I believe that mine views of happiness were created partly by the influence of my male friends. :)
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          Oct 27 2013: Thank you for your reply, I've heard men consider cars as another kind of girl friends.:)
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    Oct 25 2013: Have I recommended to you before Martin Seligman's TED talk on this subject? Don't miss it!
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    Oct 30 2013: Since many kind people have shared their experiences in successfully managing their happy family lives with balanced happiness elements mentioned in the question.The good balance is from both the man and his partner. And others think a man's night out is due to some work-stress. So I'd like to ask another question: When a man is with his partner, what do you think his partner do would drive the man to prefer to night out with their buddies most?
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    Oct 26 2013: yes, most men and womyn are happiest just having fun not having to worry about the "normality in life"

    womyn with a y = chromosome as in y not???

    so thank you for the replies...
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    Oct 26 2013: Based on the result of his research, Robin Dunbar says ladies shouldn't stop their boys or husbands from night out with their buddies. So I think if we get the general idea of what truly makes most of the men happiest in nowadays , women can treat men in a more considerate way to some extent.:)
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      Oct 26 2013: What does Robin Dunbar says about man when their woman are night out with their buddies to paint the town red?
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        Oct 27 2013: You're right. It'll cause some women's mental problems and social problems if they can't reach an agreement with each other. That's also one reason why I doubt the result of the research.But if the result is true, women should have to give their partner SOME TIME at night to hang out with their buddies to keep their love relationship healthier(avoid suspicion, quarrels..), which could also make the women be happier.
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          Lejan .

          • +3
          Oct 27 2013: Here I was pointing at double-standards, to which many man I know seem to have a natural tendency and which is also highly influenced by cultural backgrounds and 'expectations'.

          I noticed, that many man have no problem with the idea to go out at night without their partner to enjoy themselves, yet the moment their partner does the same, this idea becomes a problem to them, because they fear that their woman will be 'hunted' and 'charmed' by other man.

          This fear can cause highly unhealthy 'control reflexes' which often result in unequal set of rules for man and woman and thereby establish those double standards.
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        Oct 28 2013: I like your proposal of the solution to the conflict caused by men's night out with their buddies. Yes, women can also hang out with their sisters. If women and men have mutual-undersatanding on how to give each other healthy freedom and personal time to do other things with other people, this may stimulate mutual-trust. That's a good idea. Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder.

        And I agree with you the answers are different under different cultural background. I'm always interested in cultrual difference. So if peope want to participate and tell us more about diffferent thinking of the topic, that'll be wonderful enlightening spark.
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      Oct 26 2013: it all depends... what would you say???
      or do you not have an opinion???
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        Oct 27 2013: Hi~ Carlo
        I thought men are happiest when they' re in love with their partners or their family. But when I saw the news, I wanted to know why nowadays men would choose to night out with their buddies. Because you want more freedom than love?

        And according to the answers here, I didn't see people admit their most happiness lies in love relationship,I think that may be why people say true love is disappearing. Not much happiness, so not much dedication.
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    Oct 26 2013: the question is happiest not happiness...

    happiest is self indulgent happiness