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Jelena Radenkovic

Pedagogue, Pedagogia

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What do you think about ignoring? are we really ignoring something, or we just do in the defense?

I think often about some ways of human behavior. Sometimes, I feel that some of the ways we are acting are ambivalent. When I talk about it, i stress that our behavior can't be scouted, out of the context.

So if we do think about it, then we have to ask, what is behind visible reactions? I'm interested in ignoring, especially. "Suddenly ignoring". " Suprise ignoring".
I think that ignorance is maybe one of the most ambivalent acting reactions. Then, I think that ignorance is often defense mechanism, for insecurity, dissatisfaction etc.

Tell me your oppinion:)

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  • Da Way

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    Oct 23 2013: I think the important thing is to reflect. If one is actively using ignoring as a concious behaviour, they need to reflect and think whether it is the most appropriate response, and whether there are better alternatives. If they still decide that it was the correct decision, why not? There are situations when ignoring is the most appropriate action at the time.
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      Oct 23 2013: It's not about correctness of ignoring, ofcourse it is appropriate in some situation. To repeat, I ask about your impression of ignoring inside of human behavior, especially in close relationships, and ambivalence inside of it. Ignoring is sometimes pattern of behavior, but in close relations (where it is crucial to involve the feelings) the ignoring has interesting background. It is not just moving on, or turn off feelings....?

      What do you thing about it?
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        Oct 23 2013: "It is not just moving on, or turn off feelings....?"

        No, it's not. Let's say I do something that harms you. First, how do I know I'm harming you if you are ignoring your feelings? Now, when it is time to "just move on" and one is still able to cause hurt and pain PURPOSELY to the other and using children as weapons this is where it becomes difficult to do either one. Tell me how to ignore the feelings you have for your own child? Is it right? Pretend you just don't have any kids? I don't believe the close relations can get any closer than this (parent ignoring feelings for child and moving on). I assume one has to find out if it is appetite that is causing this feeling of move on OR being forced by one/others/law to move on about their feelings for their child. Ether way I believe it's pretty eff'd up.
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          Oct 24 2013: Obviously there is misunderstanding.

          Ignoring with background. Human is not robot to ignore feelings at all, and pretend to not have a children. I talk about dealing with situation by ignoring, but suffering on the inside. Ignoring as defense mechanism.
          A lot of studies confirms the fact that when somebody is hurt by brake up, divorce, loosing friend, brain mechanisms are making memories so hard and make centers for love being more active, so you love those people, no matter that situation make you ignore them. In fact, you love them more than ever.

          And I said "it is not just turn off feelings or move on" because it's truly not. And you are talking about the hardest love emotion in the world- parent-child relation, and turning of emotions....? You misunderstood me.
          It's much more complicated than it looks like, and inside of ignoring for your dears, ignoring includes few emotions (it is constructive emotion, as love, hate, jealousy...) - and that makes ignoring be ambivalent.
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        Oct 24 2013: I'm sorry, I was not aware of your experience in such conditions of conditionings.

        "....?" ....? I'm so lost now. Anyways, I tried....?

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