suhaila mohammed

dentist and teaching assistant-international university of afric,

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Whatdo you do when you break a really expensive antique at some ones home?

I feel like an idiot and i was in a situation that i was speechless and by the way i cannot afford to buy them anotherone. What should one do in such a circumstance?

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    Lejan .

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    Oct 12 2013: My first approach in situations like this is to dematerialize myself silently into everlasting nothingness ... :o)

    And as this usually doesn't work, I have no other choice but to face the situation and honestly apologize.

    You didn't do this on purpose, I suppose, so there is nothing to blame.

    Regarding the replacement of 'monetary value', this depends on the owners attitude and is discussed best at a time in which emotions calmed down if they got involved.

    Why not building something yourself to replace it? It would be a very personal token of your willingness for emotional compensation. It would be as unique as whatever went to peaces and more, as it was specially made for them by you. And it doesn't has to be the new Mona Lisa in terms perfectionism.

    I'll keep my fingers crossed!
  • Oct 13 2013: As I get older I learn more and more to the idea of hoping no one notices and trying to look innocent.


    Okay, it's never happened.
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    Oct 12 2013: You have surely apologized sincerely already. Have you asked them what you could do now to show them how sorry you are, given that you cannot replace for them for what you broke?

    Meanwhile, I do like Lejan's idea, if you have the skills to make them something you think they would value.

    And in future visits to their home, you will want to be extra careful.
  • Oct 13 2013: Nothing just accept the situation and be happy
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    Oct 13 2013: Apologize, wait for the smoke to clear, apologize again and give them an object which you value as highly as they have valued their antique. Match their loss with yours. Be sincere.

    At some future time when the shock has gone and your host has transformed the event into part of their personal history (assuming you are still friends and they have a sense of humor ) send them the story of the Portland Vase.
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    Oct 13 2013: A situation like this is, I guess, a test for both the culprit as well as the owner of the artifact. If the profoundness of the culprit's apology is at least as honest and deep as that of the broken artifact, it should be accepted by the owner and the whole incident should be treated in terms of fate (ill fate in that case).
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    Oct 13 2013: Turn to someone to help that can put some good words and influence the owner for you.
    Be honest and apologize to the owner.
    Provide some possible service to the owner to compensate.(EG.Give him free English lessons forever etc.)
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    Oct 13 2013: You've done your part. You've apologized and you've look at your feet, feeling like crap for half an hour.
    Now it's up to the owner of the fake chinaware to say something nice to make you feel better. "Oh don't worry about this, Frank can fix it, right Frank?" or "Never mind, I've never liked it anyway but never had the balls to get rid of it myself."
    Or "Everything material is destined to be broken, my dear friend."
    Or "Are you hurt? Honey I told you not to put that thing there."
    Or "You can trash my house but you can't hurt our friendship."
    Or "Second law of Thermodynamics... gotta love science."

    If you've heard none of these, let it go, the guy's not worth your worries.
  • Oct 13 2013: If it was an accident and they did not properly protect it, then I would say they must share part of the blame, but let them come to that conclusion. First off the apology is in order and then it is there turn to react. If it was carelessness and thoughtlessness on your part you may be making payments for awhile, again it is their turn to start the healing process. Since some time has passed and you are not dead that is a good sign that cooler heads have prevailed... keep the communication channels open but don't remind them every time you see them. Time does heal most wounds. In any case you owe them something and in the coming years you may get to repay them in some way, if not, try to remember there graciousness when the shoe is on the other foot. Pay it forward.