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How many of us want any of us to see us as we really are?

We live in a world full of people who are satisfied with pretending to be someone they are not. Don’t you, when strangers and friends come to call, straighten the cushions, kick the books under the bed and put away the letter you were writing? How many of us want any of us to see us as we really are?

Topics: Being yourself
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  • Gord G 50+

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    Oct 5 2013: I'm comfortable knowing I don't know who I really am. I'm also comfortable in the knowledge that whatever others see in me, is more a reflection of who they are.

    Life happens...I try not to get in the way of myself. :-)
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    Oct 5 2013: The person who most sees me as I am is my wife. However, it is not appropriate for anyone else to see me at that same level.
    Others will see me in one of my roles (as a father, brother, professional, friend, client, hobby-enthusiast, etc, etc), which is different and more limited, but nonetheless perfectly normal and acceptable.
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    Oct 5 2013: We may not react well to comments that truly show who we are -well, at least what our personality is; it has a difference- but subconsciously, we need to know what we're doing wrong, we need to know what others think of us, we need to know how to make ourselves better because our insticts tell us to be the best version of ourselves, and without some feedback, we cannot do that.
  • Oct 4 2013: You can watch this video. It is about showing who we are,
    http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html

    IMO, to see who we really are is to accept our strengths, weaknesses and any of our own personalities. If we could not accept some parts of ourselves, we will begin to envy other people who we think is better than us, in many ways.
    When envy comes in, we want to be like that person. This happens all the time, so people start living someone else's life. This 2 videos shows this statement,
    http://www.ted.com/talks/caroline_casey_looking_past_limits.html
    http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html

    All in all, we need to see who we really are in order to improve ourselves to be better.
  • Oct 9 2013: I don't feel like acting different roles when I'm at work, with friends or at home, but sometimes I catch myself on thinking that it is way easier to release anger, pain, worries at home, be more joyful, say sarcastic jokes with friends and feel more balanced, don't over-react at work. You are always you, but you show different sides of your identity to different people, depends on how much they care about you and vice-versa.
  • Oct 9 2013: Just myself, as Polonius said, "To thine own self be true". People see in usually only in a few situations and get a an impression based on the situation and environment. To truly know someone, you have to see them in many and sometimes in situations that occur only a few times in your life
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    Oct 9 2013: I don't know how many, but I do. I have made peace with myself and loving and respecting my own self was a great help in that direction.
  • Oct 9 2013: I agree with Alessandra in some ways. I think there is so much we do not know or understand about ourselves. Who we really are is as diverse as the person presenting the definition. Each of us has not only an opinion about who we are and also who everybody else is or should be in our minds. We are our own worst enemy. If you treated me as badly as I treat myself I would certainly strike back, however I accept the same treatment from myself as a matter of course. Personally I see everybody else as crazy, some more than others.

    "A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?"- Albert Enistein
  • Oct 9 2013: I think that many of us don't see ourselves as who we truly are so it would be difficult for others to see us as we truly are. Individuals are clouded by our own beliefs and ideals which makes us clouded in our views. If we want others to see us are we really are, we have to see ourselves as we really are without making excuses.
  • Oct 5 2013: I believe it's natural to develop an image for society. We all have a desire to be closer to the top of the pyramid. If you take time to study a small tribe you will find that the social acceptance is largely based on what can be seen. And that acceptance - often times - can mean life or death. I would certainly agree that there are many negative implications in our attempts to be socially accepted. It's important to consider the implications for why we behave the way we do. The question is, "do you want to survive"?
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    Oct 5 2013: me..actuslly I usually put myself down(bad habit0 .the reason I prefer reality is because I am afraid If you like me and then drop me when and if you change your mind...I would prefer you not to like me in the beginning...so Im actually intense when you meet me and gradually you may see Im passionate but wimpy and kind....plus honesty is a more fuinctional state..parts work better and things can get done...as for messiness..if thats all you are ashamed of or hiding, I would give yourself a pass..think of the tidy phase as a polite readjustment for the sanity of your guests....real deception is a bit more stressful for the average conformist then filing your closet with unhung clothes,or dirty dishes in the dishwasher
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    Oct 5 2013: Man, I've had this problem for a long time (sarcasm). Do you believe we are at risk for being ourselves? People are like books. Do you judge by the cover? If the ones around you judge by the cover then it doesn't matter what they shallowly think.
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    Oct 3 2013: it's a question of trust between us ,you can't give your weakness who'll use it against you ,for example if i hide something for you ,you can't trust me by your instinct but you can be blind in the moment of returning back ,it will become like your biggest principals in your life ,just a mistaken human we're.
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    Oct 3 2013: It is impossible to measure something like this cleanly, but my guess is that most people have someone, or a group of people, to whom they reveal themselves very much as they really are. Many others never or seldom put on a false front but do not disclose everything about themselves to the world. For example, many people with a tendency to get migraines do not share this with everyone they meet.

    I don't consider keeping things of this sort private a case of not revealing "who they really are." If you are writing a letter to your sister and someone walks in, I don't think putting it away is a matter of not showing who you really are. Do you?
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    Oct 10 2013: There is a thin line between pretending to be who you are not, and making an effort to present yourself and your acts in a dignified manner.
    There is a thin line, but the difference is clear. Imagine someone who walks a long distance under the blazing heat of the sun in order to get to a meeting. He sweats and his armpit smells because he didnt use a deodorant because he wants to 'be himself". Or some dude who leaves his facial hair to grow and goes unshaved for years because he wants to "be himself", or someone who farts in public because he wants to "be himself" (after all farting is natural).
    How about the fool who says everything on his mind to everyone because he wants to "be himself".
    Hypocrisy is ugly; but leaving oneself without any slight air of mystery is even uglier.

    Balance. You gotta seek balance.
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    Oct 5 2013: Rayyan ! You raised this question as if you know 'who we really are'? Let me see what kind of vision you have and others dont have that makes you different from others ?