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Is hard working attitude a given or gain-able? And how can one change?

Well, i am very arrogant and over confident by design. I assume over confidence is something i caught after repeatedly getting false praises from people who are easily impressed. This attitude is starting to get on my nerves because it just hampers my routine, surprisingly however, it works wonders for me. I can top my class without touching my books simply because i am confident enough to articulate what is on my mind. And here i go again, arrogance. And i'll be honest with you, i am not the hard working kind at all. I get frustrated if i can't understand things at the first go and often start doing questions without even reading the concept, i sometimes succeed, but it naturally results in shallow understanding of the topic and confusion. If i can't do something, it is very degrading and results in yet again, frustration. On the other hand, my sister accepts that she is no god, is modest and works hard. I wish to change, but can't understand how. Is this an innate character or something i can change? Cause if i could, it would do me a ton of good. Because of the assumption that i am the best or i can't do wrong, i had created a shell around me, but now that i am conscious of what i am doing, i over think everything and can no longer truly appreciate compliments i deserve or work for because i simply assume that the person is easily impressed and i need to work harder.
I would really love if i could change this stupid attitude of mine and work instead of assume.

Thank you! :)

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    Sep 16 2013: To me, it's really all in your head. Get out of it, that's the best advice you could ever get.
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      Sep 16 2013: Khalid,
      I followed the link on your profile and read your story. KUDOS TO YOU and welcome to TED:>)

      Did you by any chance see Janine Shepherd's talk? You might enjoy it.

      One thing that helped me a lot after a near fatal head/brain injury, was reading about other people's challenges. It often helped put things in perspective for me. I realized that if people could face SO many incredible challenges, I could probably face it as well:>)
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        Sep 17 2013: Whoa, Colleen, thank you so much.

        I'll take a look at that!

        You can face anything, anyhow!
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          Sep 18 2013: I agree Khalid, that we have the strength and courage to change things in our lives, face many different challenges, and I think/feel it begins with a belief in ourselves. It also helps to have encouragement and support from those around us:>)

          Change our thinking, which may change our feelings, which may change our life experience.
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        Sep 18 2013: I watched the video, that was truly beautiful. Thank you so much.
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          Sep 18 2013: I thought you might connect with Janine and her story Khalid. After reading your story, it seemed like there were lots of similarities.

          I admire your perseverance, determination and strength in facing your challenge as you are doing. I suspect there may be times when you don't feel so strong, and may be frustrated with the challenge. Underneath that however, you apparently have a very strong foundation of love and support.

          Sending you loving, healing energy Khalid, and I hope you continue to stay in touch with us here on Ted because you have a LOT to offer:>)
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        Sep 18 2013: Hopefully, I do.

        Thank you so much, it's true, everyone feels weak sometimes. But it's all a little phase, it passes by you and you just keep pushing farther.

        God bless.
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          Sep 18 2013: You are amazing Khalid, and I am honored to know you. Thanks for being you, and sharing the gift with us:>)
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        Sep 18 2013: You are the best.
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          Sep 18 2013: No....YOU are the best.......

          OK.....let's be "best" together....all of us....Elizabeth......Yash....everyone on this comment thread.....everyone on TED......and beyond:>)
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        Sep 19 2013: Sounds great to me.
  • Sep 18 2013: (Already) Way to go, Yash!
    I am so glad that you honestly brought that up.

    Whether you believe it or not, I totally understand you because one of my dearest ones had the same problem.

    I think what you just need is patience and endurance.
    With that in mind, as time goes by you will get better and better.
    It’s time for you to prove to the world that you can do, no more worries.
  • Sep 15 2013: I changed my ways by learning a simple lesson.

    My father said that anything that is really worth achieving takes hard work.

    I thought about that lesson a long time, and convinced myself that the good life included hard work. I decided that I did not want to achieve just the easy goals, I wanted to achieve goals that were difficult and required work. If you are not working hard, you are missing out on so much more that you could accomplish, but aren't. Remembering this simple lesson keeps me motivated to work hard.

    When I receive compliments, I say thank you, and appreciate the moment. I also remember that I am who I am, and the compliment does not change my skills, my attitudes or my character in the least. The compliment is based on the other person's perception, and they are perceiving only a tiny portion of my true self. So compliments do not affect my self esteem.
  • Sep 15 2013: Eveything has it's good side and not-so-good side.
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    Sep 29 2013: Practise makes any one Perfect! so go ahead.
  • Da Way

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    Sep 29 2013: It's where you set your goals really. There are always cleverer people than you are out there, go and meet them, it can be a very humbling experience. That will tone down the arrogacen. Only then, will you feel the need to work hard.
    Most of the really interesting subjects in the world, you can't get very far without working very hard no matter how clever you are. If you are getting good grades, that may just mean the tests are too easy.
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    Sep 25 2013: Yash Akhauri :)

    Transformation comes when one knows his/her ignorance. A short tempered man can say he is waspish. if he wants to get rid off this, proofs that he knows it is bad. Now what is bad in your mind can not stay longer (even if it is habit).

    Knowing the truth is enough for transformation. Yash, as you have started feeling your arrogance and over confidence as bad, u have start changing :) only one thing u must aware of - BE AWARE WHEN IT OCCUR !

    Just appoint a Judge (in ur thoughts) on all above your behavior.. and watch your every action. After few days u ll find arrogance and over confidence comes but do not leave any impact on you :)
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    Sep 19 2013: Likely time, experience and real world will tame arrogance, every student starts off arrogant. Now you’re a big fish in a little pond, soon you will be swimming wales and sharks and your arrogance will be tamed. Confidence is good, it is over confidence that is bad.

    A good mentor can help you gain/find/teach you a good work ethic, BUT you need to have a good willingness to learn and adjust your attitude to start with. If you can recognize your own faults (like arrogance) then I say you will be a good student, all you need is to find the right mentor.

    But be warned, what can be gained can also be lost!
    There are bully bosses and HRs out there that will do everything they can to make you loss a good work ethic. I know this to be true from first-hand experience, not to say I have totally lost my good work ethic. But it is a daily fight to keep it.
  • Sep 17 2013: One suggestion - take every compliment with a grain of salt and be aware of the source and judge the value of the compliment by the activity and the source.
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    Sep 16 2013: Hello Yash,
    One word that jumps out at me in your statement, is "confusion", which seems apparent to me.

    You say you are "arrogant and confident", which " hampers my routine, surprisingly however, it works wonders for me."

    Does it hamper you, or work wonders? Are you complaining, or bragging? Are you grateful or not?

    You write that you are...."confident enough to articulate what is on my mind. And here i go again, arrogance"

    Are you confident? Or arrogant?
    Arrogant: "exaggerating or disposed to exaggerate one's own worth or importance in an overbearing manner"

    You write..." If i can't do something, it is very degrading and results in yet again, frustration"

    Does that feel like confidence to you?

    You say..." I wish to change, but can't understand how. Is this an innate character or something i can change? Cause if i could, it would do me a ton of good. Because of the assumption that i am the best or i can't do wrong, i had created a shell around me, but now that i am conscious of what i am doing..."

    This last statement feels less confused than your other statements, and my belief is that awareness is the first step toward change. Believe in yourself, and honestly get to know yourself.....seems like you are on that path:>)
  • Sep 15 2013: A work ethic is something that can be developed. Sometimes you learn it in one area of life, then apply the same ethics to other parts of your life. In most cases, a good work ethic will serve you better than exceptional intelligence.

    Being the first to understand something is good, but it is more important to be the one with the most thorough understanding of material, the one best able to relate it to what has already been learned, and the one best able to apply it to problems encountered later in life.

    You are in a good place if you are at the top of your class with little effort. You are also to be commended for realizing that if it requires little effort, then the praise is well intentioned, but means little. Keep in mind that the teacher has no idea how easy it is for you and can rally only compare your performance to the rest of the class.

    So, here is the challenge. It is up to YOU to challenge yourself. You are obviously internet savvy and have access to a machine, so perhaps you can think about questions you would like to know about the subject, then conceive a plan to investigate the answer yourself, answer the questions to the best or your ability, and then when you do not understand something, ask your teacher to clarify for you. Now, you are challenging yourself. You will also be well on your way to doing what many graduate students and researchers do each day.

    Rather than brag about not reading the book, why not read it and see if you agree with the author's perspective? Perhaps read two books and see if the authors agree or emphasize the same material? Maybe look at Wikipedia and see if it agrees with your books?

    Remember, if you were born 100 years ago, as smart as you are, and had something important to say, you probably would have written a book.

    Frustration is part of learning. Remember, communications takes two people, the author and the reader. Perhaps the author just did a poor job on that topic. Give another one a chance!
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    Sep 15 2013: the best work we can do ever it's the best passion that we have ever in this world ,
    find your gift ,your gift will turn into your happiness and for to meet yourself again.
    thank you :)
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    Sep 15 2013: You show by your self-description that you are on your way. Teachers are taught now to quit praising kids just for being smart or getting results quickly and effortlessly and instead to acknowledge hard work, taking on challenge and risking its not being easy, and recovering from errors.

    As you recognize that you are attaining only shallow understanding and that you get frustrated at things that require sustained effort, you have every incentive to change your habits. You seem still to be in school, so you are certainly young enough to change.

    You might start by taking on some challenges that seem to you to be a stretch for you but not so far out of reach that you are likely to fail. You could pick something you are reasonably good at but pick a project in that field that requires some ingenuity or some reading of content that requires study really to grasp.

    As you experience the gratifying feeling of pushing yourself and managing something difficult through sustained effort, you have a good chance of developing a taste for it.

    What subjects are you kind of good at? I might be able to suggest some ideas for you. For example, what is the type of math you are studying now at school (be as specific as you like)? You mention in your profile an interest in theoretical physics, but unless you are pretty far along in school, you will not actually have studied much of that yet, I think
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    Sep 14 2013: Its gain-able - start working.