George Willsons

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How do you manage your relationship with your coworkers?

We have to collaborate with our coworkers, their personality varies. Could you provide your experiences with this issue,have you ever successfully managed your relationship with some thorny and apathetic guys? How did you do that,give us your tricks?

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    Aug 16 2013: Listen more than you speak. Be a part of the team. This goes for the boss too. Show you are genuinely interested in what is going on with your fellow co-worker. Having lunch with them on occasions helps too.
  • Aug 16 2013: Hi Dear George Willsons.I think I am a very patient person.It helps me to come across any conflict amond coworkers.And I am a person dislike gossip around.So that's good for me not get any troubles around.

    I think deal with relastionship issue all depends on your inner understanding of life.Live dignity and keep your personality.nobody can hurt you except yourself.

    Sometimes you have to accept' birds of a feather flock together'.I think it is also one part of our life to experience to deal with different kinds of relationships...
  • W T

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      Aug 16 2013: Your link provides pretty extensive information, I'm really educated. Thanks
      • W T

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        Aug 16 2013: You are very welcome. :)
  • Aug 19 2013: Hello, Gerorge! I think the most essential thing in relationships is 'interaction". Sometimes it works when only one person try to improve relationships but it is just a half-side thing. Relationship consists of more than two people. Respect, understand take a huge role in forming firm interaction:)
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    Aug 16 2013: I try to do this with every relationship.

    Try to be reliable, helpful, dependable and truthful.

    So that they can trust me, can share their problems with me.
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    Aug 16 2013: A good starting position is to realize that if you listen to others in your work group, you can probably learn something from them. Many problems in collaboration arise when you dismiss people out of hand because they are different from you in personality or otherwise.
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      Aug 16 2013: So,don' you think there are some people who can not be easily handled, whose repulsive personality ingrained in his heart? Some people who can hardly get along with people around him.
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        Aug 16 2013: I believe there are very few such people and many of those will have a difficult time retaining their employment or getting new employment.

        I think a practical strategy is to look at yourself first to see whether you are conveying messages that bring you your problems.

        Often a person's pride stands in the way of his being able to collaborate.

        There are cases in which people have conflicting interests which prevent them from wanting to collaborate with others. In this case the best strategy is to identify any common ground that might form the basis of a relationship. But there has to be willingness on both sides in this situation.
        • Aug 18 2013: I think you are on the mark with listening, but I have been in groups where the type of listening being done has the focus of waiting for a logic flaw or error that might be used a foothold to take control of the discussion rather than actually pondering the idea being presented.

          I think over assertiveness of personalities trying to be the leader or show leadership, manage the situation or control the outcome of a situation are additional inhibitors to successful group efforts in addition to pride. Pride is a killer though. If egos are not checked at the door, then what might be a useful discussion becomes defensive argument with a goal of trying not to be proven wrong, usually carrying an end result of both offending parties being hostile and the rest of the group checking their watches waiting to get out of the meeting.
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      Aug 23 2013: I think it also helps to focus on the solution and be careful to not have your ego involved in the resolution. It is so hard to eliminate ego but it can make such a difference in establishing working solutions.
  • Aug 22 2013: That one is simple. My co-worker is my daughter. We work great together, rarely do we have an argument. I am a wedding dj in wilmington, nc. She helps me set up, mans the equipment while I am out doing my MC thing and putting details together. When it's all over with, we break down and go home. Usually with a milkshake on the way. lol.
  • Aug 19 2013: Frankly no work environment is without a few staple personalities and you always always have to have that one person you just cannot stand. I mean the one who grinds your bone with just their presence or the one who is the know it all or the one who is just too perky that you want to blow (or is it just me). But the rule remains the same, to get the work done especially if its a person you have to correspond with directly to get results you have to be professional and this means;
    1. If its just a personality clash ensure communication is strictly on a work level. And a third person is always involved to ensure that all remains on that level and escalates to nothing else
    2. Chances are others would have noticed this constant grievance, if it veins to interfere with the work never discuss it with another staff member this can turn into a big mess take it to HR let them deal with mediation
    3. (This has worked for me) smile do the work and have a drink after the job is done.
    It will always be a challenge they are all out there in the world difference is, out there you have the choice in a work environment your choice is to stay and make it work or leave.
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    Aug 19 2013: It helps to....

    Thank promptly.

    Apologise promptly.
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    Aug 19 2013: There is much to fine tune about this question and many variations. I personally believe relationships should remain the same and coworkers or non-coworkers should have no difference in nature of treatment. I believe many problems arise with competition, pay rates, greed, and the rat race. It's too broad of a question. Having trouble with a boss? Maybe someone just starting? Maybe someone hired the same time as you? Maybe someone you have to give orders to? These are the first things I would have to know if I was trying to figure out how to manage a troubled relationship with a coworker. What is the nature of the troubles and the reason which may be causing problems.

    Do not let management know! They are not your relationship savior (first hand experience and lesson learned or I have just been shaped in a negative way through it). They do not want to deal with this especially in a corporation. Handle this yourself or say nothing and just put up with it. It's a pain in the ass, I understand.
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    Aug 19 2013: .

    By instincts (our ancestors’ successful experiences) ---- SYMBIOSIS.

    Symbiosis gives us happy.
    Happiness makes us survival.

    Competition gives us greed.
    Greed makes all evil.
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      Aug 23 2013: But competition also drives us to innovate and create amazing things. I don't think it is all evil.
  • Aug 19 2013: you have gotten great advice and that advice will work for 90% of the cases,especially where the teams are close to normal. Let me apologize now because I will probably be politically incorrect (some would say normal for me)

    Suppose you are working with someone really nasty but they are doing their job and are very knowledgeable.. You need to get a working relationship with this individual. It may be during a 1-1 mtg or a team mtg. I had a case where we agreed to only talk about work and if there was an argument, we had a designated mediator who was a member of the team.

    Hopefully, you will never have to work with this individual. This individual is irresponsible, dishonest, prejudiced. He/She hates you for race, gender, your youth, your future, etc. They will claim none the problems are theirs but all the solutions and ideas are theirs. They will put down everyone else.

    Some of the tricks they will do is setup a mtg and forget to invite you or send out important information and forget to put you on the distribution list. They will allow the project to take a hit to blame you for it and claim success when it is fixed. I have seen them put the project in danger just to hurt an individual.

    All you can do is:
    1. make sure mgmt knows what is happening
    2. document everything and keep it
    3. work hard to finish your part of the project
    4. transfer out
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    Aug 17 2013: I believe naturally being a supportive person would get things improving! it is important thu to always keep your line manager updated and fully aware of your contributions and others successes. Always keep in mind what's right stays right.
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    Aug 17 2013: Communication, communication and communication......aligning the personality....
    Listening and trying to genuinely understand other's perspective is also highly important while communicating.
  • Aug 16 2013: Why have coworkers?