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Kat VonTesla

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How to let go of your old/past self

After doing a great deal of digging over the past five years or so, I've found countless books and articles on advice you'd give yourself in your childhood, teens years, 20's, etc. I've also found articles on how to plan for your future and how to visualize what you want as well as a sort of "plan of attack" in doing so. But there seem to be little to no resources out there for how to just be in your own skin, presently. I honestly don't have advice for my younger self. I had some good and bad times. And with my ego as a child/teen, I wouldn't have listened anyhow ;) I have some great plans for the future... but my problem has always been in comparing my current self/partner/job/physique/lifestyle to the one I had (nostalgic "had", not actual). I'm always trying to get back to who I am. But that "am" doesn't fit who I honestly AM now. I'd love to hear how others get in touch with reinventing their current self and how to acknowledge, honor and then let go of the old self without it feeling like some kind of a death.


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    Sep 2 2013: I have had similar thoughts and yearnings for not only a more authentic self, but also a better self - a person I want to be in the future - harder working, continuously more compassionate, decent, kind - plain and simply a human, a harmonious human being.
    I have a few leads for you that have helped me in my journey. Most recently, I have been listening to Eckhart Tolle's Living a Life of Inner Peace. It is a wonderful audio recording of a talk he gave. He light-hearted. He is joyfully wise. Disc two especially addresses your topic. He discusses the need to let go of the search for oneself - because, (for me, in this case), I am the now. So, of course you are the now. That is a beautiful statement and so liberating. I love words - perhaps that it why I am presently typing :) - so I'd like to add the word 'unfolding' I am the now, unfolding...I am unfolding into the now... By placing your self into the moment you that are in at any moment, and being there, exclusively, you become what you are.
    Frustration over the past - it wanders away with no foothold upon me. And the future is, hopefully, when all goes well with my dwelling in the present, waiting patiently for my unfolding like a flower in the warm sun or perhaps a nourishing rain, and gosh, sometimes even a tumultuous rain. But my essence remains me.
    And so I also look brightly toward the future. I believe that I am continually becoming a person I am happier with and more confident about introducing to strangers, potential friends ... all people ... and animals too.
    Another wonderful teacher is Sogyal Rinpoche. The early chapters of The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying directly and compassionately discuss comfort in one's own skin. What a wonderful, beautiful and unique gift we give the world, others and ourselves when we dwell in the present moment -truly experiencing it - as we are, as we are created, and as we are growing to be.
    Also, I recommend Roshi Halifax here on TED on compassion and empathy.
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      . . 100+

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      Sep 2 2013: Beautiful!! I agree. :)

      “Living up to an image that you have of yourself or that other people have of you is inauthentic living.” (Eckhart Tolle)

      so.....being in this moment now....as my most authentic self is being fully present in life that matters.

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