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Kat VonTesla

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How to let go of your old/past self

After doing a great deal of digging over the past five years or so, I've found countless books and articles on advice you'd give yourself in your childhood, teens years, 20's, etc. I've also found articles on how to plan for your future and how to visualize what you want as well as a sort of "plan of attack" in doing so. But there seem to be little to no resources out there for how to just be in your own skin, presently. I honestly don't have advice for my younger self. I had some good and bad times. And with my ego as a child/teen, I wouldn't have listened anyhow ;) I have some great plans for the future... but my problem has always been in comparing my current self/partner/job/physique/lifestyle to the one I had (nostalgic "had", not actual). I'm always trying to get back to who I am. But that "am" doesn't fit who I honestly AM now. I'd love to hear how others get in touch with reinventing their current self and how to acknowledge, honor and then let go of the old self without it feeling like some kind of a death.

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    Sep 1 2013: Thank you very much indeed for raising this point; it is indeed some thing many people, myself included, struggle with.
    I do agree that a big part of the conflict is the mismatch or contradiction between Who I Really Am and Who I wish to Be Seen. In my case, I took some dramatic steps and pushed myself out of Both images, I mean the way I perceived myself in reality and the way I wished to be perceived by others. I stepped out of both molds-suddendly and mercilessly- to re know and reshape and reconstruct a balanced self-image, something to help me reach a happy medium.
    I started to meet people I had never even imagined, I got into a lot of stuff I would never dare to approach formerly. I don't know whether what I did was LOGICALLY sound and sane or not, but honestly I have reached that happy medium now. I can confidently claim that stepping out of both images I used to hold, and trying to reach some thing that can reduce the tesion caused by the mismatch between the two, has taken me to a third self-image which is pretty much what I am and what I wish to be seen.
    But as I stated, I did it roughly, firmly and mercilessly

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