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Kat VonTesla

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How to let go of your old/past self

After doing a great deal of digging over the past five years or so, I've found countless books and articles on advice you'd give yourself in your childhood, teens years, 20's, etc. I've also found articles on how to plan for your future and how to visualize what you want as well as a sort of "plan of attack" in doing so. But there seem to be little to no resources out there for how to just be in your own skin, presently. I honestly don't have advice for my younger self. I had some good and bad times. And with my ego as a child/teen, I wouldn't have listened anyhow ;) I have some great plans for the future... but my problem has always been in comparing my current self/partner/job/physique/lifestyle to the one I had (nostalgic "had", not actual). I'm always trying to get back to who I am. But that "am" doesn't fit who I honestly AM now. I'd love to hear how others get in touch with reinventing their current self and how to acknowledge, honor and then let go of the old self without it feeling like some kind of a death.

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    Aug 27 2013: This is definitely not a popular topic for Americans. Two years ago, I more or less was forced to learn how to do it (I did write a book on it, so the details will be skimped here). One of the first things I did was learn to merely observe what goes on in and around me. Not judging, not saying "I am x, y or z." A certain detachment from feelings, thoughts, habits, etc. is necessary. Long story short, I found that the act of simplifying my approach to life made it possible for me to finally come into my own skin.
    Your inner child is far more important than your past child. The simplest piece of advice I can give you is a little affirmation: "This is where I am, this is what I'm feeling, these are the tools I have, and it's perfectly ok. I do the best with what I have, and I have everything I need in this moment."
    There are a few reasons I suggest this affirmation, or something similar in your own words. The most difficult thing I had to come to terms with was being human. Somehow, in my endeavor of striving higher and higher to live my full potential and really be the best version of me I possibly could be, I forgot square one. I believed at my core that there were things fundamentally wrong with my existence, based on certain urges, feelings, emotions, beliefs, etc that I was brought up to believe were somehow unholy. Perfect=adequate was my mantra. This affirmation helped me come to terms with being a human animal, and from there realize that as a human, I have the choice to be stuck in the muck of suffering or I could choose resilience, humor, love, trust, etc. I'm just as alive as anyone else, and it's time I be honest with myself, about myself, 100% of the time, I decided.
    Wish I could write more, as I could go on and on, but I hope this is a good start that gets you thinking. Feel free to message me, ask me any questions. I'm here to help in any way I can. Thanks for exuding the courage to be yourself. :) It does take a lot, but the rewards are infinite.

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