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Kat VonTesla

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How to let go of your old/past self

After doing a great deal of digging over the past five years or so, I've found countless books and articles on advice you'd give yourself in your childhood, teens years, 20's, etc. I've also found articles on how to plan for your future and how to visualize what you want as well as a sort of "plan of attack" in doing so. But there seem to be little to no resources out there for how to just be in your own skin, presently. I honestly don't have advice for my younger self. I had some good and bad times. And with my ego as a child/teen, I wouldn't have listened anyhow ;) I have some great plans for the future... but my problem has always been in comparing my current self/partner/job/physique/lifestyle to the one I had (nostalgic "had", not actual). I'm always trying to get back to who I am. But that "am" doesn't fit who I honestly AM now. I'd love to hear how others get in touch with reinventing their current self and how to acknowledge, honor and then let go of the old self without it feeling like some kind of a death.

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    Aug 16 2013: To a degree... I don't feel paranoid per say and I've yet to master thinking before I speak. It's more the feeling of needing to keep up a certain image/persona around everyone. I've been this social shapeshifter for so long that I've never had the chance to really dig in and be all of myself at once. In a lot of intimate relationships, I tend to hold back and feel more like a diluted version of who I'm supposed to be if that makes sense. After being "this" for so long, I've found that there are instances where I'm just to exhausted to keep it up and I'm at least more of myself than usual and I end up feeling like I've upset things. That tends to foster very well intentioned but annoying comments that start of "you know what's wrong with you is..." and then I fall back into character. After speaking with a few other people who spend a large amount of time performing, I've found that I have a few comrades in this awkward stage of introducing myself TO myself finally. Sounds a bit odd, I'm sure. Realizing all this was the major reason I decided to step back and stop performing so it wasn't quite so easy to fall back into the addiction to external validation and to try and figure out what a lot of others figured out years ago ;) Upon doing so, I found that there weren't to many (if any) books/discussions dealing with this from the standpoint of a performing artist and I thought hey.... I bet TED would be a great place to start. So far, I'm really glad I put this out there. You've all had some great insight and some really good points!

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