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Amy Winn

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What can we teach our children about marriage, using advice from our successes as well as our failures, to teach them how to be a good mate?

Why is it that with each passing generation of marriages, there is an increasing likelihood of failure? Why is it that our grand-parents and great grand-parents went through wars and the great depression, and stuck together? They had no cable, no interenet….so perhaps it is because they actually spoke to each other. In this “me” world, it seems that newlyweds don’t have patience, understanding, empathy and tolerance. These things are the necessary foundation of a good and long lasting marriage. Where have they gone? So my question to everyone, is how can we change this? What can we teach the next generation from our own experiences, good and bad, that may improve their chances of maintaining a long term happy marriage?

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    Aug 16 2013: .

    Also, let our children know:


    "
    3. Marriage Originally
    Lasts Lifelong!
    Why?

    ...

    Abstract: Originally marriage is a state of one inseparable bio-entity of husband and wife.


    Case

    In Angela Neustatter's article "Why marriage is worth the effort" (telegraph.co.uk, Oct. 7, 2011), it is reported that infidelity, intolerance, boredom, no longer in love, Facebook fueling divorce and etc. are the reasons leading to statistic data of high percentage of divorce today.


    Common-Sensing

    Based on the well-proven common sense and the biological knowledge we learned in junior high school, all the reasons mentioned above will disappear completely if we have our happiness validly, that is, have happiness for our offspring or keeping our DNA alive ---- the real goal of our life. And then:

    1. The infidelity will disappear if the couple both dedicatedly does for keeping their DAN alive in their offspring’s bodies. This way both the husband and wife have 100% valid happiness; otherwise, each will has his or her valid happiness only 50% at most.
    2. The intolerance, boredom and no longer in love will disappear, if the couple does in the way stated in previous paragraph (1) and they understand what the optimal point is for everything in their life.
    3. The Facebook effect will disappear either if the couple concentrated all to their offspring. It is just like the couple lives in an isolated island where no other people are there at all. .

    Then, how could the marriage not last lifelong?
    ....
    "
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      Aug 16 2013: Hi again Yin, You used the words common-sensing. That is what I was seeking here. But its much more than a DNA thing. There are marriages that do not produce children and they are no less valid and loving and fulfilling than any other marriage. But I totally agree with you that infidelity can tear a marriage to shreds. I also believe that even if the couple stay together after the infidelity, something will be affected. Trust, self-esteem, and self-worth of the person that was cheated on. I personally just don't believe that things can ever be the same after such a betrayal. So, I agree with you that this is a deal breaker in a marriage. Also agree that things like internet cites where people can live with secrets can be damaging to relationship, but those relationships may not be the strongest to begin with. You have the right idea - Each of us needs to learn to behave with the utmost respect of the other in mind, and no feelings will get hurt - no marriages will get hurt when we truly love and respect each other. You should continue to spread your idea as it needs to be a more common way of thinking with the youth of today.

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