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Patricia Valério

Entrepeneur - internet marketing, entrepeneur

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Discussing how much individuals are truthful with themselves

Due to a global crisis people seam to be unhappy, mostly due to economical issues. But even when money is not a problem, are people really happy? Are people really truthful with themselves? Do they tell themselves the truth? Do they tell others what they only want to listen? How can this affect the global crisis, and how can the paradigm can reverse it?

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  • Aug 7 2013: Hello Patricia,
    I am unaware of anyone who intentionally lies to self about life and events. One possible exception is a person I know diagnosed as bi-polar. This person has difficulty facing reality and with judgment.

    A factor that could affect judgment is intellectual endowment. Those persons with a high endowment will likely get more education and also be more active socially and with both would more likely be willing to face reality----maybe. Could we say truthfully those with lower intellect are less educated and therefore could have more reality issues? I am not certain.

    Being truthful to ourselves likely includes great confidence in ourselves. As I see it confidence includes loving ourselves and that, extrapolated means we are able to love others more. Why lie to ourselves if we love ourselves? Why lie to others if we love others?

    Being dishonest with self I think could make it easier to lie to self and others. Such relationship with self and others requires healing which must first be a result of realizing need for healing. The paradigm could shift with being honest and realistic. A person could be in a bad situation in family, in a community or a nation. Desire for healing is needed to change paradigm understandings.

    Healthy leaders are needed in all situations. A healthy planet will come from loving one another, putting away desires for doing harm and working together realistically and in truth for higher values and meanings in life. Peacemaking is a worthy activity of mind. A person not at peace with self cannot lead and cannot face reality and therefore cannot lead.

    A good personal religion helps.
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      Aug 7 2013: A interesting point of view? But I disagree with some issues. Many people, and not only bi-polar individuals lie to themselves. Why? Social, psychological, political, ideological influences... And that can affect our self happiness or the happiness of the ones around us, co-workers, friends, family...~
      What you think about that?
      • Aug 7 2013: Yes, I concur. TED allows only 2,000 characters, so there is not enough space to offer a lengthy dissertation. Being in a state of denial is possible for many issues of life, so explanation of all would be a lengthy task and study. Keep up your good work!

        People tend to form firm conclusions-opinions and such firmness indicates a closed mind, a condition limiting growth and wider understanding. Such a person is not likely to accept truth for many life situations. Denying truth of a situation or a philosophical posit may be tantamount to lying also. Could you agree?

        You do well to bring this topic to our attention. We need to think more about being truthful.
  • Aug 7 2013: Our interpretation of our memory is imperfect colored by time, emotions, etc., is that lying to ourselves? Maybe. I think many people do not like confrontation nor sometimes the results. Some people tell what they think is the truth, results and confrontation be damned.

    There is a way of tell people the truth even if they do not like it that they will listen and not take it personally. I do not have that talent.

    I believe many people expect to be lied to and stop listening. How you change that? I guess you keep telling the truth and hope to change the attitude. The other side is how are you going to get companies and governments to tell the truth.
  • Aug 22 2013: You are asking some very big questions, and most of them have no empirical answers.

    People lie to themselves to make themselves feel better, or sometimes just to make further progress possible. Sometimes the truth is not acceptable. When, realistically, all is lost and further effort is futile, realism is useless. When facing the truth about a situation, perhaps a loved one, causes unbearable pain, the lie is much preferred.

    Optimism and pessimism have always been more popular than realism, and I think that the reason for this is that realism is not always the most useful outlook for survival. Everyone who thinks of themselves as reasonable will probably argue with this opinion, but it is difficult to argue with the fact that humans are a very successful species, and many of us are very good at ignoring facts..

    While it seems obvious that it is always best to accept the truth, and that it is always best to base our actions on a realistic assessment of any situation, human experience suggests that in many cases realism is not always the most useful outlook.

    I disagree with your statements about happiness. I believe that happiness is a temporary reward for good behavior. Pursuing happiness is futile.
  • Aug 7 2013: In my view, happiness depends more on personal emoyional conditions than on the economic issues in society. In other word, a person could be quite happy if he is satisfied with what he has or the way he is treated. On the other hand, some people are never satisfied even they got a lot of money or being very successful with their economic or political positions.
    On the truthful front, people are certainly different in their psychological orientation. Some are mostly truthful to themselves and to others, some are habiitual liars. Some lie because they are illusional that they were telling the "truth" even it isn't true at all. I would call this kind of lies as "illusional truth" which is usually due to the false "self (over)confidence." that those people who had an illusional wish/goal to reach but never had the capability or perseverance to achieve it. Of course, there are some benevolent lies when one tells some untruth to someone in lot of trouble; saying "Don't worry, you will be OK".
    It would be a serious problem when political leaders are telling the citizens lies or twisted logic for political purposes, coupled with their incompetence, then it's more likely to lead to regional or global crises.
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    Aug 7 2013: .
    Money makes people greedy.
    Greed makes evils for people.
    Evils make people untruthful with themselves.
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    Aug 7 2013: I remember one dialogue from a Hollywood movie Armageddon '' .. Oh Gosh i hate knowing everything'' . This line explains our state of being depressed. Communications are so rapid that we know everything happening anywhere around the globe or even beyond that. We can only be at peace when we have peace around us. Just take a trip to any far-flung area that is not connected actively to world, there you would find peace.
    Life is becoming so complex that we are not true to ourselves. We say we are happy but infact we are hooking our happiness to material things like money , gadgets etc. This approach is making us good lairs to ourselves. We are not true to ourselves then how can we tell others about our wants (true wants). Global crises is increasing as people are disturbed recently American embassies closure could be used as an instance. Announcement was so viral that my milkman told me to stay safe. Apparently this has nothing to do with milkman but he is worried about global issue because we are globally connected.
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      Aug 7 2013: Great fact : communication and infoxication are strong reasons to self lies and lack of happiness. Life is really becoming to much complex, due to the human being complexity. That really keep us far form our truth, the self truth. Interesting fact about your milkman.
  • Aug 7 2013: Happy is a state and can be anchored. It comes and goes.
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      Aug 7 2013: Agree, but the question is, can people really know, or are truthful about their happiness?
      • Aug 8 2013: I am sure they know but are people routinely truthful with others about such matters?
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          Aug 8 2013: I think that routinely people lie to themselves and to others due to many factors
      • Aug 9 2013: One such example is callesdcognitive dissonance.
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      Aug 7 2013: You got my attention to the issues you mentioned. I agree about the search for peace. Quite interesting.
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      Aug 7 2013: Very interesting point of view. We all know that everyone, at a point tell lies, to him/herself, or to others.
      The question is, in the purchase of our happiness, are we really truthful with ourselves? Do we really know what makes us happy in a moment? Can we identify it? Can we only identify biological, neurological signs of happiness? Can we build our behaviour, our SELF, being truthfully happy with ourselves?
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    Aug 17 2013: Hi Patricia,

    What is your notion of "being truthful"?
    And how does that relate to being happy?
  • Aug 12 2013: I think some people hide themselves because society enforces them to be happy. Society sets a standard thathappiness is the result of success. So many want to be seen they are happy. In some point, happiness could be produced artificially. But the truth is that it has to come from the inner heart without any lie and deceit:o
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    Aug 8 2013: Emotions are inapt programs, automatized e predictably stable, and that fact goes against natural selection and genetic heritage. But is there anything personalized and educated in our emotions ? ( Happiness it's an emotion) Yes there is, and a lot! We can read a lot about from Antonio Damasio, The Happiness Trip: A Scientific Journey (Sciencewriters), and Self Comes to Mind: Constructing the Conscious Brain. The search for happiness is quintessentially human—a concept that has no bearing on any other creature on earth yet figures foremost among our deepest desires. In the realm of hard science, the journey to happiness is still in its infancy; the final destination, uncertain. The question about it, is about if we deal with it truthfully ?
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    Aug 7 2013: Patricia, why would you think you can generalize? Some people are happy, others aren't. Some tell themselves the truth, others don't. Some tell people what they want to hear, others don't. I would say our job is to find the truth, both in what we tell ourselves and in what others tell us.
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      Aug 7 2013: Good point Greg! It doesn't seem that this idea can be so general. Like you say....some people are happy, some are not happy....some of us are truthful with ourselves and others....some are not truthful with themselves or others.

      I agree that with self evaluation, we learn our own truth, and by listening carefully to others and being aware, we can sometimes learn THEIR truth as well, even though that is not what they may be telling us:>)