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How could women occupy much more top part of our society?

Sheryl Sandberg published a book . And she came to my country, korea, to make a speech for her book. I was also one of the attendees of the conference. To make long story short, what she mentioned was that women are likely underestimate their own ability than men do. And they are more worried about childcare and having a baby in advance, not participating in the worforce passionately. I'm a student and will become a career woman, I want to share ideas with you and get advices from you( ^^ )
1. What attitudes should women have?
2. How can society help women to break the glass ceiling?

Topics: life society women
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Closing Statement from Sophia BAE

Thanks for everyone who joined this conversation:) After reading Sheryl Sandberg, I did not restrict myself only undersatanding the words she wrote but appreciating and sharing ideas with all this TED's people. Thank you again, all you guys widened my perspective in this field. I will become more a considerate career woman in the future, not feeling limitation as a woman but taking advantages of being a woman.

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    Jul 29 2013: We have been seeking for this so-called gender equity for so long. But consider this, how is it fair for men to only work but for women to both work and take care of the children? Is this what we really fighting for, for women to have more roles than men? I mean, to be honest men cannot give birth and raise the kids during its first few years after birth, it is a task best done by women. It is quite paradoxical in my opinion.

    But dear Sophia, there are some women that are both great leaders and great moms. They do exist but they are few. But you can be whatever you want to be, it's all up to you. Just remember that family is more important than your career. Because you can have the money, the status and people's respect, but at the end of the day, all you need is a family who is there to support you, to witness your progress and acknowledge your success.

    Look into society today where women can work. The most common problem is that most parents go to work and neither of them is spending enough time with their children. And look at children nowadays, they develop into all sorts of things or getting into all sort of problems by themselves, and imagine how avoidable that is if the parents can be around.

    My mom quit her job in order to spend more time in raising me. She has a great mind to do business and I can guarantee you she could make tons of money if she becomes an entrepreneur. But instead she chose me over her career. And I have to say that that is one of the greatest choice in her life. I feel lucky I am well raised, growing up being quite an all-rounded girl. And my mom is really proud of me, and of her choice of course. It is better this way than having a great career but spoiled children and a broken family.
    • Jul 29 2013: Dear Son Huynh, thanks for your deep insight. I was thinking that some kind of our society and companies are not quite fair. But after reading your comment, there is something more important and precious to womena than their career. Yes, I am a students yet, so I only think of my personal goal and fulfillment rather than family love. I love last paragraph of your comment( ^^) All moms are really great!
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    Jul 29 2013: "
    a. Husband
    The husband half is biologically assigned in charge of food-seeking, habitat constructing, defending, donating all kinds of co-body-safety messages ceaselessly to his wife (kissing, embracing, and so on) .
    His ability and smartness come mainly from the ceaseless intimate encouragement of the other half of the marriage ---- the wife.
    b. Wife
    The wife is biologically assigned in charge of the child bearing, child bring up, house hold, and etc.
    She transfers all the physical substantial materials from her own body into the baby’s. Also, she exhausts all her spiritual energy to bring up the baby or child ---- the DNA-carrier of both the husband and wife.
    That is where her mother-greatness and beauty come from.
    Her beauty and virtue are support-enhanced by the ceaseless intimate co-body message from the other half of the marriage ---- the husband.
    This is the right way that the husband and wife of a marriage work; and the right way that happy life of the couple comes from.
    Then, there will be no issue of gender equality at all.
    "
    • Jul 29 2013: Great :) If husband and wife do their best duties no problems will occur. Right? You use the term "biologically". And I agree with this part. But what about women and men as a social beings? Do you think each sex has his or her own duty in the workforce as well?
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        Jul 29 2013: .

        My answers:

        (1) Yes. "If husband and wife do their best duties no problems will occur".
        (2) "As social beings", women and men are still inseparable.
        .
  • Jul 28 2013: npolean has said"give me good mothers,i shall give you a good nation'.i think women can play most important role by producing good humans for the future world. i do not underestimate the contribution of women in outer world but this cannot compensate the ultimate duty of a woman.because man cannot play this role.
    • Jul 29 2013: Hello, sidra. That's right. Producing great and creative humans is really important thing that only women can do. And I am really proud as women. But these days, society has changed a lot. Age of marriage puts back and most women want to get their own job, not relying on her husband. Then what about women who do not want to have a baby?
      • Jul 29 2013: that is the problem.those women do not want to play that role for what they have been created.have you seen any man saying that i do not want to do a job rather i would prefer being at home raising my kids. that is obviously absurd.

        being independent and not relying on husband is another issue.if you want to be an independent woman you would have to play a double role.one as a working woman and other as a mother.you know we muslim have the faith that heaven lies under a mother's feet.and a woman is not completed until she become a mother.
        • Jul 29 2013: Yes, Sidra. Becoming a mother is duty and gift from god as we are a woman. And I like your faith that mothers are respected by everyone :) . But these days, the world are changing a lot. So there are some couples who have agree changing each other's role totally oppositely against our traditional belief (Wife goes to the work, and huz remains at home, doing childcare and something else). This occurs quite rarely but some couples live this way. Do you think they do not do their duties best??
      • Jul 29 2013: i do not think that it could work, we cant go against the nature.each gender has its limitations.what you say?
        • Jul 30 2013: Kind of "following nature" is important thing we should consider. Thank you for your precious thought, sidra :)
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      Jul 30 2013: I also think it's doing the world a huge disservice to imply that fathers aren't equally responsible for producing good humans. Good mothers may produce a good nation, but imagine how much better a nation could be with good mothers AND good fathers, in any combination.
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    Aug 2 2013: Ultimately, philosophically I think, some women should starting to take successful man(those who are already occupy top of society) as a role model rather than just other women who are successful, you have to know yourself and the enemy well in order to win 100/100 wars right? haha Try to look at the world from both man and woman pointer view. Technically, you should go to the Nobel Prize Foundation website, and try to take that as a standard to follow, you should get to the right path if you try hard enough. But remember, the best inventor is sometime not the best explain-er, so their is the option of finding alternative option to learn. With that attitude I think, you should able to do any thing, easily and comfortably too.
    You should able to get the philosophy ideology as short as 3->6 month to as long as 1-> 3 years. :))
    The technical matter should get invest around 2->4 years if you are a relatively smart and able to skip some of the barrier that keep you away from finding true knowledge.
    Just keep in mind that the later generation will be better than you, so the moment you stop you will be outdated. So keep moving, and go on create new knowledge , rather than just learn it from someone else.
    • Aug 2 2013: Oh, Simon, that''s right. "know yourself first and next, enemy." It can be applied to both sexes. I will try to do my best without feeling restricted by some limitations. Rather than biological differences, social role and personal attitudes are more important to form one strong individual. Right? Thanks:)
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        Aug 2 2013: :))) just remember not to hate us too much , we still need woman you know :)))
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    Aug 1 2013: Here is a question that came to me after I watched the Sandberg talk, Sophia. Why traditionally has it been most women's responsibility to take care of the home and children, do you know?
    • Aug 2 2013: I think it is because a woman is the one who gave birth to their children. In fact, birth of new life is attributed to both sexs' effort but woman suffer more pain when bearing a child. So It becomes some kind of convention that woman stay at home, doing housework and her husband work out for food or finding shelter. Of course, it is quite complex problem to conclude in only few sentences:) . What do you think of this?
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        Aug 2 2013: I don't think it explains it, even if women give birth to children does not necessarily mean they should stay at home. I'm thinking it's because life in the outside world is a little rougher, and women have been considered weaker and also more vulnerable, what do you think?
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          Aug 2 2013: I think it has much to do with the "woman thing", in most of small and ancient culture, it's reasonable why they wouldn't think man are much cleaner to serve as a leader(or to serve god), as the reason keep as a secret, the later generation are more likely to take that as a tradition rather than question it . A part from that, man are just simply stronger (physically), so he will be the one to make the rule. I study a little bit about ancient china philosopher such as Confucius, he did not criticize nor make a clear a path for woman, but I think if I ask, he would take woman as the same class as man for he loved his mother very much. I think he did imply the equality of woman in his work in some way, I can point out some, but I am not sure if it was his intention.
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          Aug 2 2013: :))) Sophia BAE explain the woman view , I did some of the men view.
        • Aug 2 2013: Yes, greg. I agree with you in that women have been considered physically weaker than men. Why did I think like that is the one who gave birth to a childa is likely to form more attachment with the baby. After bearing the baby, women feel pains a lot. And she do not have much energy to seek foods or shelthers(in ancient). Buy someone must take that responsibility because their purpose is surviving. It has form some kind of firm convention, and the next generation assumed it for granted.

          Simon Le, Hello. Thank you for your reply:) Once tradition form, it put down to the next generation naturally, I think. And I studied about Confucius a little too. In my own country, Confucius is an important person as to human beings' nature.
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          Aug 3 2013: I think women have hormones that create a very strong bond with the baby. the baby spends 9 months in her body and evolutionarily, the instinct to protect the baby comes in the form of hormones. After nine months of brainwashing by hormones, women have formed this strong bond that her new purpose in life is to take care of the baby, above all else. Priorities are shifted.

          To get ahead in career, politics, whatever, I think that women have to have the faith in the measures they've put in place to take care of children. While they're thinking of having children, to make plans on how to take care of children, have family support for the days when emergencies require someone to be there without letting it take you away from the office, how to make sure that even without your presence the children have more than just babysitting, to have enriching, varied, constructive experiences. making plans and contingencies.

          Once your mind is at peace about your children, you are free to pursue personal ambitions.
  • Jul 31 2013: for your 1st question:
    1. be confident - not over confident
    2. have "grit" push yourself to the front and get the credit for your work, push yourself into mtgs especially if it involves your responsibilities or has information you need
    3. do not be afraid to take challenges or ask questions or make mistakes (learn)
    4. ignore the gossip about you and ignore the idiots spreading the gossip
    5. figure out the network and how to get into it -i.e. Guinness network for getting ahead is at a certain pub. if you want to get ahead, you have to be seen and talk to people at the pub. Most organizations have something like this or your reputation.

    on your 2nd question:
    1. society should make sure the opportunities are equal for both men and women - the best person gets the job
    2. society also needs to make it easier to succeed in both work and family
    • Aug 1 2013: wayne uejio, your comment helps a lot. Although company put their priority on team work or cooperation, some people feel uncomfortable with those kind of work. However, to activate career women, regardless sex, they all have to show open heart and share a lot of opportunities:) Most important thing could be individuals' effort but before that social systems need to be firmly constructed.
      • Aug 1 2013: even when mgmt says teamwork, they are looking for the the individual who is the leader.
        • Aug 1 2013: Yes, it is really true. so what company should pay attention is giving fair oppurtunity to every employees and make sure that they deserve their work and due.
      • Aug 1 2013: because they are run by humans with their own views and opinions. they can not give everyone the opportunity because most will fail for what ever reason.
      • Aug 1 2013: I was debating to tell this story but I had a tech that wanted to move up. To do that, he would have to program. I gave him a chance. Unfortunately, the project became hot and the deadline pulled in with major restrictions. He failed but he argued it was due to the pressure and restrictions and he wanted another chance.

        It was my opinion was that he did not have it. But because I could be wrong I transferred him to a simpler project with a very long deadline. He failed again and committed suicide.
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    . . 100+

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    Jul 30 2013: Social anthropologist Dr. Fisher discusses this in her lecture. Men and women need education and work both inside and outside the home for better personal health, parenting, and family health.
    http://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_tells_us_why_we_love_cheat.html
    I hope this is helpful dear Sophia.
    • Jul 31 2013: Great Juliette:) I watched this talk three times. It is so inspiring and interesting. I love her words that women start to COMEBACK to their workforce. I was thinking that women who have a job are merely increasing in this centries but it was just what should be done. Women had worked in wild and done really good job in both childcare and obtaining foods. This talk makes me inspired. Thank you!!
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    Jul 29 2013: In some cultures women are considered subjective to men.... enough said.
    In other cultures, men put women on pedestals and you are asking to climb down off these pedestals and get involved with what men do.
    First, women are in a minority, women are new to the game, women haven't made all the connections....
    Ok, women have to start at the bottom in this game and work their way up and as you get higher the game gets tougher... Men have been playing the game for thousands of years and most of them don't make it to the top
    Ms. Sandberg wrote a book that has made you and other women I am sure feel unfulfilled. Why is that? She will make money selling her book.. Yes. She will make you and other women feel unworthy after reading her book, evidently.
    So, if you want to get into the game with men, get in the game, be all you can be and don't think you're a victim,
    because of children or lacking passion. If you make to the top, great, if not, look in a mirror and say you gave it your best.
    • Jul 30 2013: Right Mike. All great achievement and goal can be obtained by having little more confidence. Treat ourselves(women) with respect will be the first stepping stone. Do not be reactive, be proactive. It is such a nice word. Isn't it? Thanks Mike:)
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    Jul 29 2013: In the western world :
    Do not get married.
    Do not have Children.
    Get rid of unneeded Unconscious discrimination. (Read about this. It is interesting).
    In other words go with the principle of "Meritocracy".
    In other countries :
    Make people empathise with Women more (or make "Self Evident Truths" which argue in favour of Women).
    Get rid of Cultural traditions (for instance in Islam).
    Give Women the ability to have the vote (so they can topple a government which discriminate against women).
    I hope this helped.
    • Jul 29 2013: It helped a lot :) And I agree with the last part of your comment. Right to vote is quite important but some women do not have it and still fight to get it. Thank you Bernard!
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    • Jul 29 2013: Hello Deepak. I am happy to see you again at new TED conversation. Fist of all I would like to say "thank you" for advices you had given at the last conversation.( It was some kind of creativity. I'm wondering if you remeber me.) I search as to Brahma Kumaris. And it is interesting as you mentioned. But not all women are Brahma Kumaris. I do not know well about Hindu so if I have a mistake, correcting me plz ^.^
      Then what attitudes should women have? What do you think of this? I think being confidence is not quite enought. There needs some firmly support and systems for women.
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    Jul 28 2013: This is a straw woman created by those who benefit by its existence. I'm speaking of the U.S., I don't know about Asia?

    Statistically speaking if a woman works as many hours in her lifetime as a man she will make slightly more or equal pay.

    The main difference is that women take time off for child rearing. Statistically they also tend to work part time.

    The idea that it requires 10,000 hours to get good at something certainly applies here.

    The main thing is not to buy into a meme and create a self inflicted disability.
    • Jul 28 2013: Hello, pat gilbert thanks for your reply :), In Asia, there are still tendencies of prefering men as workers when companies hire employees. In fact, it is obvious that women do work well more than men in some fields and part. But why they prefer men is a kind of convention that has been passed down from the ancient,prefering and considering boys as more essentia existancel than girls.
      Sheryl said in her speech that majority feel uncomfortable when women occupy high status in the workforce than when men do. What do you think of this?
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        Jul 29 2013: Cultures change, that used to be an issue here but from a practical point of view it is not an issue anymore. Some of my favorite customers were women executives, not because they were women but because they were great to do business with.

        I look at politicians and feel the same way, I would take Carly Filorona or Meg Whitman over most male politicians.

        Another factor above and beyond the culture is the level of thinking that people operate at. Analytical thought is above this sort of thing, associative thinking is where this sort of thing comes into play.

        The associative thinking can give you self inflicted disability as you unconsciously buy into this trope. LOOK at this for a minute, you are making a decision that you are the victim because someone else is to blame. This is a sure fire way to lose. Focus on winning, focus on your goals, cheer on others who are winning, forget this noise because that, is all it is and someone would like to benefit from you buying into this straw man trope, don't fall for it.
  • Jul 28 2013: Lol,hi Dear Sophia BAE,that's great to see you are very ambitious:).I prefer being equal.
    • Jul 28 2013: Hello, Edu learner, glad to see you again. Ok, being equally treated in the workforce is really important matter.
      By any change, Have you ever felt that you are treated differently from men teachers? I'm a student now so do not have much experience than you. I want to share your experience and ideas :)
      • Jul 29 2013: Hi Dear Sophia BAE.Maybe I had the same ideas just like you have now when I was young.Anyway I found myself have been growing up:).Just enjoy what I am doing.

        I think everyone deserves what he(she) had done.In my understanding of life,life is always fair to everyone.
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    Jul 29 2013: I would like to know why you wish to become a career woman? Do you want to have children?

    By the way, why do you put your last name all in capital letters?
    • Jul 30 2013: Hello greg, glad to see you here again:) As a student, now I want to become a career woman. Because in my counrtry, mother's role in childcare cannot be ignored. It impacts a lot on children. But there are kind of conception that if women only rely on their husband, it is not so good considering women's later life. (There could be some divorce or..kind of things.) So having a job for oneself is ability to compete, I think:)
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        Jul 30 2013: well, I don't know if one can generalize about woman's attitude, I guess every woman has to make her own decision about what she wants, what she thinks her life will be like. I myself am interested in the Masai people of Kenya. They are all cattle raisers, and have rather traditional roles, the men go out during the day and graze the cattle on the plains, the women stay home and raise the children. Divorce is not allowed except in cases of extreme abuse. But perhaps this life is not for every man or woman, there is a lot of variety in the world.

        I don't have any specific suggestions for breaking the glass ceiling if it even exists. Really, haven't women only been in the work force in great numbers for a few generations, and already they occupy many top positions, both in business and government. Hilary Clinton came very close to being the Democratic candidate for President, and she may be the candidate in 2016. I would think all thinking people recognize that life really depends on merit, what you can get done, and eventually everybody will recognize this, even people who don't think as much. I guess we just keep saying it, that success is based on merit, pointing it out, treating all people with respect unless they give us some reason not to. If we're with someone who puts women down in private, we don't go along, we disagree and point out that it is based on merit and ability.
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      Jul 30 2013: Greg, you pose a career and children, however subtly, as either/or. They are rarely posed this way for men -- it is assumed that one can be a "career man" and also have children without any trouble. Therein lies the very problem being discussed.
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        Jul 30 2013: sorry, Morton, didn't mean it that way, just trying to get at who she was and what she valued, to see if she had any inner conflict. No, I certainly think women can do both, my mother did, my sister-in-law is, in fact millions of women are, one reads a great deal about it.