John Love

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A request to tell a true Love Story

Have you ever loved someone so much, that it sometimes hurts physically just to think about them? Well, that is precisely how I feel about my wife Nancy.

This is my personal Love Song to my Wife, Nancy, whom I first met on January 6, 1962, proposed to 6 weeks later and subsequently married on May 5, 1962... thus defying all norms, but simply following our hearts.

When I recently renewed my wedding vows, I swore before the Judgment Seat of Almighty God "I, John, take thee Nancy to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have, to hold, to love, to cherish ... NOT until death do us part, BUT UNTIL FOREVER ENDS".

I pronounced this renewal at Nancy's funeral mass after 50 years and 7 months of marriage ... two sons and five grandchildren. My Nancy is buried in Section 66 of Arlington National Cemetery.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about Marriage lately ... and there is ABSOLUTELY NO DOUBT that Marriage is my favorite Sacrament because of my love for Nancy AND because I honestly believe that there is an intimate union between the Marriage Sacrament and God's head-over-heels, madly in-love affair with mankind.

I have so, so much more to add ... as a matter of fact, I even sent to both my U.S. Representative and my U.S. Senator a request to present my whole Love Story to Congress. As I expected, my request was turned down ... but I just want to use the biggest microphone to tell the whole world how much I love and will always love my Nancy.

But, for the moment, I will bow to the input from others.

Thanks for listening ...

John Love
Haymarket, VA

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    Jul 31 2013:

    For you and your lovely lady.
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    Jul 29 2013: Juan Valdez above stated "Please tell us more about Nancy. If you are able & willing. Please do tell us more."

    It's impossible for me to recall 51 years' worth in one sitting ... so as recollections surface, I try to share with you.

    In the meantime, I am totally concentrating in acquiring any leads at all leading to my selection as a volunteer assistant to one or more of the military chaplains at Arlington National Cemetery.

    So I would like to ask any of you to "rack your brain" on this target.

    John Love
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    Jul 29 2013: Hello John
    I am sorry for your loss.
    You and your family are in our (TED's friends) thoughts and our hearts.
    We are here to you.
    Share / talk to Us when you " need Us ".
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    Jul 29 2013: We hear you John.

    So say we all.
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    Jul 28 2013: Okay, let's continue ...

    I have talked twice with the senior chaplain, Colonel Cornelius of Arlington National Cemetery. He said that he welcomed my willingness to volunteer as a Chaplain's Assistant. However, because it is a military facility (part of Fort Myer) he needed an official billet or position to put me in. It did not matter that I was volunteering.

    Unfortunately, said he, Arlington did not have any official Volunteer Billet ... EXCEPT for the Arlington Ladies who volunteer their time offering condolences at all Military Funerals at Arlington. It turns out that this organization has no current need for additional volunteers, male or female.

    So, it's back to MIRACLE REQUEST time.

    Am I "mis-reading the tea leaves" on this service when I stated "I absolutely know it is the right thing to do"?


    I also know in my heart that Nancy agrees with me.


    She died on December 27, 2012.

    She stood in our kitchen around the beginning to middle of October and said "Honey I have been told that if it were not for you, I would be dead now".

    Now, let's do some math ... just prior to that, she had not been in the hospital for about 2 weeks. It was approximately that time when Nancy fell on their bathroom floor, literally hitting her head on the towel bar and then the floor (ceramic).

    Words cannot describe the rage with which I went through that hospital, all the way up to the top administrative offices.

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    Jul 28 2013: Whether the video portrays Mormonism, Evangelical, Catholicism or Judaism ... it is totally irrelevant. What is relevant is the message. Nancy and I are Catholic. Juan ... pay attention to the analogy between Marriage and God's Covenant ... the Mass is called the "Marriage Feast of the Lamb".

    My personal opinion and personal observation is that there are many who go around quoting Scripture as if the people know how to quote only from it and not from their heart. These folks cannot speak for themselves ... they depend on others to speak for them. I assure you I cannot connect to these.

    Many said to me "Have Faith". Okay, please define Faith and they canNOT ... so they recommend something that they canNOT define. I can define Faith, but they cannot ... yet they recommend it??? What's wrong with that picture?

    For almost 9 months I went to church on weekends maybe 5 times total. Excuse me ... but I literally was fighting for Nancy's very life ... the doctors, the staff, the whole @#$% system.

    Let's talk about real.

    1) Another label for family is "little church".
    2) Nancy IS and WAS and ALWAYS WILL BE God's Gift to me ... hands down

    So ... whenever I was with Nancy, taking her back and forth to doctors, to ERs, vacuuming, cleaning clothes, grocery shopping ... I WAS IN CHURCH ... I WAS WITH CHURCH ... all 8+ months of it.

    3) "Love the Gift ... Love the Giver"

    Whenever, that is ALWAYS, I loved my Nancy, I loved the Giver, namely, God.

    So do not tell me I should have been IN church ... I was WITH church because I was with my Nancy.

    Above I talked about how Nancy saved my life in 1979, yet I could not save hers in 2012.

    I then added that maybe I can compensate a SMIDGEN by working with those currently left behind ... working as a Chaplain's Assistant .

    I also said "I just know it is definitely the right thing to do".

    Let me be precise ... I ABSOLUTELY know it is the right thing to do.

    I'm running low in space ... continued below.
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    Jul 28 2013: Hopefully the following TED-ed is just a beginning morsel ...

    If you have some time, I would appreciate it if you could provide any and all suggestions for its growth or expansion.
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    Jul 27 2013: I don't think I've ever shared with you the absolute fact that Nancy saved my life on Mothers' Day, 1979.

    I started working on my car, it was a Saturday morning, the day before Mothers' Day. Had a gigantic headache which I had had many times before ... went inside to pop a very high dose aspirin, knocked me cold and woke up 7 weeks later in Walter Reed Army Hospital.

    Nancy + a neighbor discovered me comatose on our bed, took me to Fort Belvoir here in VA who subsequently air-evaced me to Walter Reed. While at Belvoir, the Doctor made the crucial error by calling me a typical "Saturday morning after a Friday night drunk". Nancy, a LPN, saw the doctors pull out the ole paddles ... CLEAR ... ZAP ... CLEAR ... ZAP.

    I had a cerebral hemorrhage, which being drunk is a tad "removed" from. Well, the doctor told my Nancy "Well, Mrs. Love, you already know that things have taken a turn for the worse". At that point, God love her, my Nancy slugged the doc for calling her husband a drunk.

    At 2 AM, Mothers' Day,the lead neurologist at Walter Reed, told Nancy to go home, and prepare our sons for the death of their father.

    She went home, kept her mouth shut, UNTIL she returned to Walter Reed later that day ... she simply told the docs to "cure my John or bury him", but she was NOT going to UNPLUG me as they recommended ... after all, I was as good as dead according to them.

    A week later, some "nurse" informed Nancy "Well, Mrs. Love, you got your wish because John apparently is going to live; BUT, he will exist as a 'human vegetable' for the rest of his natural life, however short that may be".


    Maybe I can compensate a SMIDGEN by working with those currently left behind ... working as a Chaplain's Assistant ... I just HAVE TO GIVE IT A TRY ... plain and simple.

    I just know it is definitely the right thing to do.
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    Jul 27 2013: Juan ...

    I canNOT possibly express how grateful I feel for your extensive and heart-felt response.

    You asked me to tell you more ... so here goes.

    What I can say with certainty is that I must:

    1) get accepted as a Chaplain's Assistant at Arlington National Cemetery ... a volunteer position ... but one that is bureaucratically very difficult to get. I would have the awesome privilege of wearing my Air Force Class A uniform as I tend to the needs of those others left behind. MIRACLE #1.

    2) I have applied for base housing on Fort Myer ... imagine my walking out of my apartment, up 2 blocks, hang a left and 3 minutes later standing next to my Nancy's grave. What an awesome Good Morning I could have as I walk another 2-3 minutes to assist others with their grief. AND the return trip for an awesome Good Evening. The issue is not money, because I would pay civilian rental rates since I am retired. Again, next to impossible to get, the base housing, but that is why it's called a "Miracle". MIRACLE #2.

    3) I have also applied to become a TED Talker, addressing in my case, the sanctity of Marriage and the Family as the bedrock of any society that is to flourish. Again, another MIRACLE is required here. MIRACLE #3.

    So, I've listed not one, but THREE MIRACLES required ... and honestly, I firmly believe these MIRACLES are the reason I'm stuck here without my Nancy ... now, we've got to get God to say "YES".
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    Jul 27 2013: Thanks very much, Coleen.

    I have "nominated myself" to be a presenter of a TED Talk. It seems kinda "funny" to nominate yourself ... but the FAQ mention this avenue as a possibility.

    I don't know how long it will take for someone to review my application or even if I will be accepted once reviewed.

    I cannot possibly compete with some of the "giants" who have given these TED Talks in the past.

    My credentials stand on their own merits ... they "are what they are".
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      Jul 28 2013: You are welcome John....glad I could help.
      Again, very sorry about your loss.
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    Jul 27 2013: Boy, do I wish I could find someone who can specifically define when the "correct time" is ... especially from a someone who has directly experienced the loss of a spouse.

    In the meantime, speaking of "memories" ...

    ... can anyone, anyone at all, tell me specifically how I can give a TED Talk on my Love Story? I live in Haymarket, Virginia ... ZIP CODE = 20169, next door to Manassas and a hour+ from Arlington National Cemetery where my Nancy is buried.

    ... who do I call, what is their name and what is their phone number?
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      Jul 27 2013: Very sorry about your loss John.

      If you scroll down to the bottom of this page, you will see the word "contact".... you can contact TED that way.
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    Jul 27 2013: I am sorry for your lose John. Surely Nancy is waiting for you. Enjoy your life and all the new memories you will make. Your time will come, the "correct time". Nancy will greet you as if "time" never passed.
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    Jul 27 2013: I stated above:

    "I have so, so much more to add ... as a matter of fact, I even sent to both my U.S. Representative and my U.S. Senator a request to present my whole Love Story to Congress. As I expected, my request was turned down ... but I just want to use the biggest microphone to tell the whole world how much I love and will always love my Nancy."

    Oh, how I wish I could literally get up in front of our whole nation and brag about my Nancy ... and certainly addressing Congress (or at least getting my testimony into the Congressional Record) would be "in front of the whole nation".

    I know that family values have taken a severe hit over the recent past ... I just want in the worst way to lift those values up by my testimony.

    A significant turning point in my life occurred about 10 years ago when someone noticed I was volunteering at Church so, so much. That same person commented "Just where does Nancy fit in your life".

    It took me a while for the message to sink in; namely, another descriptor for "family" is "little church". Another way of paraphrasing this message is "Love the Gift and you Love the Giver". I KNOW that Nancy was and still is God's Gift to me. So ... whenever I was at home just being with or helping my Nancy, I was at "church". By loving my Nancy I was loving Almighty God.

    Whoever coined the expression "And the two shall become one" WAS NOT KIDDING. This is absolutely true beyond any shadow of my doubt.
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    Jul 27 2013: That's a lovely story !!! Understand , how much pain you are carrying on with Nancy's loss !!!
    Wishing all the best for you to carry on Nancy in your heart.
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    Jul 27 2013: Hi John,
    That's a heart warming story. I am sorry to know that Nancy is not in her mortal frame with you anymore but I am sure she lives in your memory. I think women and men will be inspired with your love story.
    Why not do something, some good work that can help others in Nancy's memory. That way she will be living still closer to you and people will remember you and Nancy with fondness and gratitude?
  • Jul 27 2013: Hi Dear John Love,
    It is so great to have u sharing your love story with us:).Yes,I definitely agree you:Marriage is the only sacrament that does not require a third person.

    From your statement about love story between you and your wife:Nancy.You two are really lucky to meet each other.May you be happy everyday.Thanks for holy sharing.
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    Jul 27 2013: To continue ...

    Did you realize that Marriage is the ONLY Sacrament that does NOT require a third person (e.g., a church minister) to convey the Sacrament on the bride and groom? The bride conveys or imparts the Sacrament on the groom and the groom imparts the Sacrament on the bride.

    Folks, just how neat is that?

    Also, the sign of God's Love for mankind is the Eucharist, the Communion between God and man. Communion IS the consummation of this Love. Communion is the new Creation, the Body and Blood of Our Lord.

    For the human Sacrament of Marriage, the sign of the husband's love for his wife and the wife's love for her husband, is consummated. The "I" of the groom disappears and the "I" of the bride disappears. Both "I's" are replaced by "WE". The new creation is "WE". I absolutely abhor the expression "better half" or "worse half". I assure you that "I, John" and "I, Nancy" both disappeared. The two halves disappeared and were replaced by "WE" ... and the two shall become one.

    Again, folks, just how neat is that?

    An undeniable similarity between the Eucharist and human marriage. By some, the Eucharist is called the "Marriage Feast of the Lamb” ... and, I assure you, that title is NO accident. It is deliberate and true!!

    During her extended medical illnesses, my love for her intensified so much I wanted to explode. Nancy was and is my very best friend EVER!!!

    My ONLY PRAYER is that Our Blessed Lord send my Nancy to come and get me and take me up to Heaven where she is. Nancy is and will forever be not just my Wife, but forever and ever my Life!!
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    Jul 26 2013: John, it is wonderful that you have had this love in your life. I am sorry for your loss, but I can see that it will be with you at full strength to the end of your days. I am sure you will do many significant things in her memory that reflect her values and yours.
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