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Mark Laing

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Why do we embrace mediocrity in relationships? Because we are either so perfection bound or sex is the only value of relationships.

We face obstacles all day long, whether it is the traffic jam on the highway, people at work, delayed and much needed info, our friends, kids etc. We work through these obstacles and can often feel invigorated by championing the challenge. Then why do we pooch out so easily when it comes to relationship obstacles? Why do we give up so easily and why are we not as a result concerned with the idea that about 50% of all marriages won't make 25 years. Why is the work of relationships seemingly so low on the priority list?

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  • Jul 29 2013: 1. Because of TV and movies, I think people feel that the perfect match will occur immediately
    2. Some people think sex is the center of a relationship, it is part but not the center.
    They go into the relationship with these assumptions. I think the reason relationship fails are:
    1. assumptions without understanding- Many years ago I lead a design team and one engineer had just got married - she assumed that the job was a 9-5 -after 6 month, divorce. 2 years later she was hired as an assistant and she said she never understood what the job required.
    2. You change, your partner changes, the relationship changes - need to understand the change in yourself, your partner and in the relationship - obviously your partner must also understand and then you have a chance to continue.
    3. being self centered

    sometimes i think arranged marriages may have been better - start from scratch, no assumptions, and in theory the same interests. -8>))
    • Jul 29 2013: You raise an important observation about the affect of the media upon our thinking about relationships. In a media rich world where everything is demanded instantaneously, relationships are thrown into the same naive heap. Recognizing that marriage is never in a vacuum...that it is always changing and evolving is important to understand as well. I tell my wife that I will always be a student of "her." If I ever get to the place where I think I have her totally figured out, I am not blocking the relationship from growing. I am going to post a comment upon being self-centered shortly.
      • Jul 29 2013: My creed has always been never stop learning or the day i stop learning is the day I am dead.

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