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Mark Laing

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Why do we embrace mediocrity in relationships? Because we are either so perfection bound or sex is the only value of relationships.

We face obstacles all day long, whether it is the traffic jam on the highway, people at work, delayed and much needed info, our friends, kids etc. We work through these obstacles and can often feel invigorated by championing the challenge. Then why do we pooch out so easily when it comes to relationship obstacles? Why do we give up so easily and why are we not as a result concerned with the idea that about 50% of all marriages won't make 25 years. Why is the work of relationships seemingly so low on the priority list?

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    Jul 28 2013: Many people involved in a relationship seek to get their own needs met while resenting the perceived needs of their partner. In work and social relationships we can be more concerned about how we are seen by others, wanting to be judged as worthy and equal. We don't know these people as well as we know our partner and therefore we are motivated to work harder to keep the relationship pleasant. We may also be complacent in a marriage relationship, feeling that our partner will accept us whatever our behaviour. Perhaps we carry over our perceptions of how our mother/ father saw us and assume that same persona in our marriage.
    • Jul 28 2013: Lesley you drive home again the presence of narcissism in a relationship and it's destructive force but I also like your observation of "complacency" or as I might suggest, "laziness." I think if we were actually marry someone who was a carbon copy of ourselves, just how boring the whole experience would be!

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