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How honest should we be in relationships?

According to Dan Ariely's book, a little bit of lying is normal for us as human beings. Pamela Meyer says we are lied to between 10-200 times per day.

Yet honesty in relationships is the basis of intimacy, trust, and closeness. Should we strive for full honesty with our partners, or is it unattainable or undesirable?


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  • Jul 26 2013: I agree with the fact that complete honesty is attainable! It takes longer, but when truly desired, it is possible. It must be a choice, both partners discuss and agree upon.
    Initially it comes with its own down side, as few people have stated that sometimes we lie in order to protect the other person from getting hurt. But, if this person finds out later, it becomes worse, because now he/she would feel let down, that we chose to lie, when we could have said the truth. There may be delicate situations, where we will be tempted to lie, just to avoid a bad scene, but I guess it does no good if ever found; It only gets worse.
    So, by mindfully training ourselves to tell the truth, even if it leads to momentary pain, we tend to become more trustworthy and we gain respect in our own eyes, which motivates us to be honest and true to ourselves, just the way we want our partners to be.
    It is simple, we only get what we give, so if we chose to hide certain details, you never know, your partner would be doing the same. Initially the situations would be bitter, but we must be prepared and embrace it with faith and hope that we can make it better. With time, it all gets better and our partners will understand our true intentions, even at times we make bad choices. I'm going through this phase of transformation and am being very mindful and constantly taking efforts to be honest. It makes me feel so good about myself and also has made things so much better and peaceful. Good luck to those ready to start living an honest and loving life!

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