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Jaden Backman

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What is your thought in a young man and a lady live together before getting married?

Recently,I came across this question,struggling on whether or not choosing living with my girl friend.I need your insights or experiences, to help me out in this trial.


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    Jul 25 2013: I'm wondering how your girlfriend will feel if she finds out you are crowd-sourcing her life and yours.

    I am honestly baffled by your posing of such an intimate question to a group of complete strangers.
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      Jul 25 2013: Sorry,Mary,if it offend you. My stance is I am convinced you will never find out who I am. I just need more experienced people to share thoughts.
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        Jul 26 2013: Sorry Jaden if you are offended by my sincere worry for your girlfriend's emotional well being, as well as yours.

        In the future, I hope you will not suffer too greatly at having posted such a serious and intimate question on a public forum.

        Assuming that the individuals giving you advice are more experienced is a big assumption.
        Do you think they have your best interest at heart? And the interest of your girlfriend?

        Again, I am wondering how your girlfriend would feel if she found out you are crowd-sourcing her life and yours.

        This is my sincere contribution, not because I am offended, but because I care.
        I hope you can understand that.
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          Jul 26 2013: Thank you Marry,I understand your care and worry.I don't think I am offended,you might know me,I am the kind of person positing everybody as a good person initially,so I am positing all your words and the other TEDsters' words are sincerely helping me. You are looking in the different way,which shouldn't be ignored,it's my fault failed to recognize it before posting this question.

          My girlfriend won't be as eased as I am,if she found out.But,I think she would understand my starting point,I sincerely want to make a decision that is as perfect as can be.

          I mean this is a serious and intimate issue,I do not dare to talk to anyone around me,even my best friend. For me,TED is an anonymous forum,where onbody would be able to identify myself,nor do they have such impulse to identify me precisely just to make me embarrassed.In that perspective,I thought talk intimacy anonymously will do on harm to me and my girlfriend.

          I appreciate your contribution and care,we've know each other for quite a long time,you remind me the things that I ignored,this is a big lesson for me.I consume and value people's sincere intention,not his/her straightforward words.
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        Jul 26 2013: Jaden, your words give me much inner peace.
        Not only because you have understood my perspective, and the reason I gave you counsel, but because now, I too understand why you have asked this private question on this public forum.

        Communication between two understanding, patient individuals who care to listen to each other, many times ends in a fine manner.

        May you and the one you love have a happy life together.

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