TED Conversations

Jaden Ye

This conversation is closed. Start a new conversation
or join one »

What is your thought in a young man and a lady live together before getting married?

Recently,I came across this question,struggling on whether or not choosing living with my girl friend.I need your insights or experiences, to help me out in this trial.


Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.

  • thumb
    Jul 24 2013: Hi again Jaden,
    When I have doubts about something, I usually do not take action, until I am clear in myself with all information. I believe doubt is often coming from intuition/instinct, and it's important to understand what the doubt is about. It is helpful when a decision like this feels good to both people.

    No need for struggle my friend. Take in all the information, from the heart, intuition, instinct, and the logical, reasonable mind/brain. As an insightful young person, weigh the information, and feel good and comfortable about whatever decision you choose:>)
    • thumb
      Jul 25 2013: Hi Miss Steen,I've not made the move yet,cause my heart has not given me the kind of decision that I will feel comfortable. That's why I come to TED,collecting suggetions and thoughts,your words might never be a part of my decision,but it helps me expand my understanding,create new perspectives.Eventually,I am the one to make the decision,which is responsible for both me and my girlfriend. Cause I think this action's stake is so high,margin for error is so small.
      • thumb
        Jul 25 2013: Jaden,
        Why are you making the decision for both of you? Why not both participating in the decision?
        • thumb
          Jul 25 2013: We both are participating now,she is quite determined to live together.But as a man I can't allow myself to be careless,I think I have to consider the perspectives that she can't notice.
      • thumb
        Jul 26 2013: Jaden,
        I suggest the BEST person to talk with about this is the person who is involved in the decision.

        You think you have to "consider the perspectives that she can't notice"? Talk with her about it, allow her to truly be a partner in the decision.

Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.