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Ed Diaz
  • Ed Diaz
  • San Francisco, CA
  • United States

Mortgage banker, Opes Advisors

This conversation is closed.

Are people in large US metropolitan cities become too self-centered?

It seems that living in a metropolitan city like San Francisco, where the cost of living is very high, either causes or attracts self-centered behaviors from it's inhabitants. In the angst to make rent and still have a life, the "must compete" machine seems to be working overtime. It shows up from the annoyed driver who almost hits the pedestrian crossing the cross walk "too slowly" and therefore getting in the way of getting to their destination a nanosecond later than they wanted. The reality is that the driver is not going anywhere faster or better yet, not missing anything since they are probably only going to Starbucks for a latte! We have lost focus on what the major ingredients of a life well lived are all about: Love, friends, family, paying it forward and being kind to one another. Money is overrated and winning at all cost is a cancer to society and happiness.

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    Jun 27 2013: Hi Ang,
    That is great insight and makes sense. So the fact that there is this sense of anonymity, it actually perpetuates the behavior. This is an "Aha" moment!

    Thanks a ton,
    Ed Diaz
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    Jun 27 2013: There's a sense of anonymity in the cities that you can't get away with in smaller towns.

    Who cares if you cut that guy off after tailgating him for the last mile, it's not like you're ever going to see him again. Go ahead and act like a jerk to the gas station attendant, there are dozens right around the corner you never have to set foot in that one again.
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    Jun 27 2013: I love the idea. I have been battling for solutions in this arena but it has been an uphill battle. I will continue to do so.

    Thanks again,
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    Jun 27 2013: Bravo Joshua,
    That is the most intelligent and deep answer yet. I completely agree with you. It's all about perspective and owning one's perspective. Maybe I just have become too sensitive since I, for one reason or another, see a greater focus on money around me, than a focus on humanity. You make great points and maybe it's just time for me to focus more on the existence of humanity, kindness and love than me looking for the absence thereof because after all, we get what we focus on. I will work on my reticular activator for sure!

    Thanks for the refreshing perspective,
    Ed Diaz
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    Jun 27 2013: Hi Greg,
    Very interesting. I have never lived in the country so I could not say. However, is it me or does there seem to be more of a competitive nature in the metro cities, thus leading to a greater focus on money than humanity?

    Thanks and great day!
    Ed Diaz
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    Jun 27 2013: Hi Barry,
    I think you are correct, they always have been but maybe it's just me but they seem to be getting astronomical. We see it in the huge discrepancy between pay for CEOs and the rest of us working stiffs. I would love to see the humanity of things come back and not this incessant pursuit of money and winning (thanks Charlie Sheen).

    Ed Diaz
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    Jun 27 2013: You make some great points Pat. The cost of government is a huge factor and quite frankly, I had not thought of it, which leads me to the hidden nature, or better yet the hidden feel of these costs.

    Thanks for your contribution and reply
    Ed Diaz
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    Jun 27 2013: I would argue that self-centeredness is on the increase in metropolitan areas however I don't think its because of the almighty dollar. Nor do I think that competition and money are the evil doers causing this social disfunction. Competition inspires new ideas and money helps drive competition.

    I think the perspective to self centeredness is the problem. Instead of a me...me..me attitude about everything commercial perhaps we need to shift the me..me..me attitude to the things you mention at the end of your proposal. The fact of the matter is its all in your perception. We haven't lost sight of the major ingredients we have been taught to prioritize what is a major ingredient is differently over the last 30 years.

    We have been convinced by marketing geniuses that the material items are the most important and unfortunately we have bought into that perspective. Winning is not the issue the societal definition of winning is where the problem is.
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    Jun 27 2013: I've lived in the city and in the country, and I found the cost of living pretty similar. Also lived in suburbs, same.
  • Jun 27 2013: This question is confusing to me, for two reasons.

    Haven't they always been?

    How much is "too"?
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    Jun 27 2013: Ironic statement coming from a mortgage banker? The psychs call this projecting.

    Yup cost of living drives people to move faster. Too many rats in a cage is also a factor. But it is hard to argue with the efficiency of a city.

    I think the unnoticed factor is the cost of government in Calif. The average person is not privy to its incessant costs.
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      Jun 27 2013: Good morning LaMar,
      You hit it on the head! Wonderful feedback and much appreciated. Your reply has also focused light on the fact that one of the best ways to counter this behavior and societal pattern, is to surround yourself with folks like yourself who really understand what the beauty of life is all about. Congratulations for having such maturity of spirit. I am glad to see there are more folks like you and I out there. From the outside, I look like a successful mortgage banker but that is ONLY what I do and NOT who I am. I am much like you (oddly enough since I am in this career). I chose this career to bring a new fresh perspective and approach to a greed infested industry that focuses primarily on the money and not the humanity in real estate and finances.

      Thank you and Godspeed to you and yours!
      Ed Diaz