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greg dahlen

Alumnus, academy of achievement

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When I feel close to a man, I just feel close to him. When I feel close to a woman, I want to have sex with her. Why?

I'm a man, I get to share ideas and feelings with many different people of both sexes, and one feels close to some. Although I believe in theory when psychologists say we're all bisexual, I find that when I feel close to a man I don't have that strong sexual attraction like with a woman. Why?

I tend to think that no matter how close two guys are, they always feel a little competitive with one another, which takes some joy out of homosexual sex. Is it perhaps the same with two women? Whereas I don't feel so competitive with someone of the opposite sex. But not sure this is really the explanation.

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    • Jun 25 2013: LaMar, Speak for yourself buddy...
      I'm 75 and there is no wane to my sex-drive.
      Ugly and Horney. But lust just for the girls. 18+.
      A pretty girl is a pretty girl no matter how old you get.

      Of course any gal under 60 would probably run the other way.
      I can't blame them.

      My Father was almost 52 when he married the last time.
      A 19 year old beauty, and they had 3 kids. 2 girls and a boy.
      The kids as teenagers didn't treat him like they loved him.
      Kind of shows that age can make a difference.

      Friendships are fine for those who want them.
      I have two that I love. A son and a daughter.
      The rest are merely acquaintances. I don't have to love them.
      Just put up with them, until they grow up some.

      The moral climate of the US has changed from the 1950's.
      Can't say as I agree with that.

      But then there's STD's, HIV and AIDs to level the playing field.
      I don't wish any of them harm. I worry only for the children.

      My views are no doubt unpopular. But they are mine.
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        • Jun 25 2013: Jealousy runs rampant when I hear tales of frolic.
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      Jun 26 2013: Lamar, can you articulate why you've not been attracted to men, there's lots to appreciate about a man as well as a woman. Others are saying it's the fact that we can propagate with women but not with men, but since we use birth control, and really hardly ever procreate in sex, I don't think that's the explanation.
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          Jun 26 2013: well, then, why do think it's true for most men that they're more drawn to women despite the fact that in almost every case they're not going to make a baby with that woman? You can say it's culture, that culture teaches us to be drawn to women, but as you get older don't you somewhat transcend culture, you do what pleases you, and yet even the older guys go for women rather than men. Thanks for your thoughts, LaMar.
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          Jun 27 2013: I don't buy it, LaMar. I doubt we make a "spontaneous" choice of our first sexual desire, particularly for your and my generation we got many messages that boys should desire girls. Like I say, however, as we get older I think we transcend those messages and just do what we want, but even the older men mostly go for women rather than other guys. I don't buy the genetic argument, either, I think our emotions and mind transcend genetics. How do you like this argument, that we enjoy experiencing something different from ourselves, that for a guy it's not as interesting being with another guy as to be with a girl because the other guy's body is so similar, whereas the girl's is quite different.

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