TED Conversations

This conversation is closed.

How do(did) you raise your kids?

My daughter is eleven years old now.I feel time flies so fast eventhough I still remember the first day my daughter went to kindergarten:so warm and cute...
I always keep the gratitude in my heart for the god sent me the most treasure gift to me:my daughter(although I am totally just an Atheism).
But meanwhile I being a mom,sometimes I do worry too...:worry if I miss any crisis time to support my daughter to growing up...worry what I share with her do help her or not?worry if I do try my best to take my resposibility for her or not...if I ignore sth which are very important in her growing...I know being worrying is good...But sometimes I still need to find balance for myself:)
So I would like you come to share with me your experience in raising your kids?Thanks.

Share:

Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.

  • Jun 19 2013: Good morning edulover

    We encouraged our child practically from the moment she was born to take her hunger for life directly to the source, whatever or whomever that source might be. Be yourself, allow your child to be herself, a balancing act for sure!

    Our examples:

    Once our daughter started dining at the table on adult foods we served her by holding bowls of food and allowing her to take her own helping, instead of forcing some bogus parental standard of how much she should eat. She never had food issues.

    We informed her that when she felt she could stay dry during the night she could wear grown-up girl panties (which she knew were awaiting her in a drawer) instead of diapers. It worked beautifully. She decided when, without a fuss.

    As she matured we always nudged her to speak up, stand up, try, fail, try again -- doing as many things on her own behalf as she could and would. She knew we always had her back, she knew her parents each loved her fiercely and unconditionally and supported her; we just did not do her all living and growing for her. That was her right.

    We interceded only when she was unable to handle an issue.

    Some might see this as indulgence. Quite the opposite. We knew that within that lively being was someone whose quality of life would depend forever on being able to make wise decisions for herself. Today she is still lively, married, professionally adept, engaged in the world, loving, connected with family and completely at ease with making all the tough decisions.

    So, our message as parents together (later, as single parent) always was "We believe in you. You can do it." It was worlds removed from the hovering, fretting and micro-managing that appears to flavor so much of today's parenting. It meant letting go all along the way, in age-appropriate ways, so our daughter could grab hold -- of her own life, that is.

    It was not always easy, that I can assure you! But worthwhile matters seldom are.

    Enjoy every moment with your child!
    • Jun 19 2013: Hi Dear Betsy Shea-Taylor:).Thank you so much for the precious sharing:)
      I guess it should be Good evening here:).Thanks again.

Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.