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Jaden Ye

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Taking care of your parents, or bringing up your children, how do you reconcile these two responsibilities?

Your parents were loving and nurturing,brought you up from an infant. Taking good care of your parents shows your love and gratitude.While your children are the future of your family,who are going to fulfill your dream.An excellent upbringing is the key to the quality of your children's lives. These two issues are both our responsibilities throughout our lives.

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    Jun 1 2013: Majority of the western world some how think its not their responsibility to take care of their parents (I know its broad generalization), when parents can't take care of themselves. They think State should take care of them. This trend is growing in eastern world as well. I have seen my friends in America and UK freaking out when their parents come and visit them for few days. I have tried to argue but they don't seem to understand the simple logic that they have been taken care of by them and now it their turn.I feel it your responsibility towards your parents is as much as your responsibility towards your kids. They are like your both eyes. What sort of humanity is that we let our parents suffer for years , probably 10-15 years, when they need our love and care most.
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      Jun 1 2013: Kiran,you made a great point.Yes,I had some kind talks with westerners about their attitude to taking care of parents,they told me children first,that's one of the purposes I started this conversation. The truth is westerners are choosing both according to the comments.State?Do you think is it because the developed coutries have more favorable healthcare system,which helps sparing children?
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        Jun 1 2013: Yes, Govt does take care of elderly in developed countries. But you see its different. It would be like kids growing up in orphanage, would you leave your kids in a child care center for good and visit them once in a week or month? If not, why would you do that to your parents?
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          Jun 1 2013: Exactly,you brought out a perspective very persuasive.You might ask these questions to someone who disregards the responsibility of taking care of prents.I appreciate your way of thinking.
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        Jun 9 2013: Kiran and Jaden,
        You both make some good points regarding western culture, and the care of the elderly. However, I really feel that it is changing, as I mentioned in my comment........let's hope for change:>)
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      Jun 1 2013: I will add this: Sometimes, the way that children are raised in western world is to be independent by age 18. Parents do not want them to be "at home" anymore.
      They are told by their parents---"Time to leave the nest".

      Also, I had a very good friend in college. Her mom died, and father remarried.
      He and his new wife sold the old house, told my friend "so sorry, you must now live on your own", and they started a new life and put two children (18 + years old) on the street.

      My friend left the state after college. I know she does not talk to her dad.
      Her feeling of abandonment was too great!!

      Many times the parents do not nurture a spirit of love and 'family piety' in their own children.
      Then, they shoot themselves in the foot.

      Here in my town, alot of elderly die alone and lonely and in a dirty house, because the chidren are nowhere to be found.

      You must raise your children with love and nurture a spirit of interdependence in the family.
      This is the healthiest way. But not all families do this.

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