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Lizanne Hennessey

Singer Songwriter & Vocal Coach, Lizanne Hennessey - Voice Coach

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Bullied... or ignored. Which is worse?

Shane's powerful presentation on standing up for yourself against bullying, and acknowledging your true beauty, got me thinking.

Bullying is a destructive act. It forces individuals into a category through labeling and name-calling that can sometimes cost that individual an entire lifetime to break out of.

But, what about ignoring an individual? Is denying someone's existence as destructive... or more so?

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    May 10 2013: Kia, Lizanne, I think it's possible to survive, more or less harmness to an ignorating behaviour. But to be bullied is something you never can forget, and it's made during the most important years (age) for the construction of the kid personality.
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        May 11 2013: Kate, you're right, that's ok, but I can't forget youg people are the most vulnerable human beings. Probably they are th most-in-need people. I've known a boy who suffered serious bullying who today is a man of 62, and he never forgot what happened during this nice time of the adolescence. ¨For him, it was a hell. He's not weak or coward, dureing his life has protagonized events of bravery and solidarity. But in those years, he was not happy, he suffered, and adquired strange inmunologic diseases. He kew what is hating. No, too much for a kid.
        And yes, ok, too much also for an adult. Of course.
        Greets.
    • May 11 2013: I can see both of your perspectives clearly, Sean and Kate.

      I feel, the long-term effects of bullying really depend on the person's own level of self-esteem. There are kids who let labeling slide of them, for whom bullying has no effect. Bullies sense this though, as if they have radars! They will probably 'pick' on those who are susceptible to being picked on.

      I really agree with what you say, Kate, that being ignored places someone in a position where they have no opportunity to stand up for themselves. It is a sneaky, underhanded and malicious way to treat someone, without any amount of respect whatsoever. Bullying, which is equally harmful, is also a form of attention, even if it is negative.

      Your comment, Sean, made me think of something, though. You said it's "made during the most important years (age) for the construction of the kid personality", with which I completely agree.
      What about bullying among adults?
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        May 11 2013: Yes, you're right.Bullying among adults is also horrible. But, in my opinion, there are more probabilities to make permanent scars, and, from my point of view, even considering (I really consider it so) that in both cases that behaviour is completely rejectable, however, over kids or young people, it's more dangerous, harmful and vile. And I also think the scars could change the right direction of a new life into a wrong one. And in both cases -kiids or adults- provoking a lot of suffering.
        • May 12 2013: Totally in agreement, Sean.
          It isn't called 'scarred for life' for nothing!

          I'm curious though - if and when bullying among adults takes place, is the grown-up bully, a bully as a child? Or the victim?

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