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esraa abdel azeem

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is romantic love a definable concept ?

i think there's a difference between romantic love and that kinda love we have for our family , teachers & our own selves but does romantic love have a definition ? i mean how do we know if it's romantic love or it's that other kind of love ?

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  • W T 100+

    • +3
    May 3 2013: It sounds like you want to know the difference between affection, attraction, infatuation, and love. There is also lust, but I am not going to talk about that.

    It's kind of hard to answer your question.
    I think that romantic love is at the end of a long line of feelings.

    I think to feel romantically in love with someone before you get to really know them, is dangerous.
    I think alot of people, especially young people, confuse lust for love.

    Let me share some information I have on the word love with you.

    The ancient Greeks had four words for “love.” One was e′ros, denoting romantic love associated with sex attraction.

    Then there is the strong family love, or natural affection, based on blood relationship, for which the Greeks had the word stor‧ge′. It is responsible for the saying, “Blood is thicker than water.”

    Then there is the Greek word phi‧li′a, denoting affection (with no sexual overtones) between friends, as between two mature men or women.

    Then there is a‧ga′pe. This is a love guided or governed by principle.
    It may or may not include affection and fondness, but it is an unselfish emotion or feeling concerned with doing good to others regardless of the merits of the recipient or of any benefits accruing to the giver. When the Bible uses the expression God is love, it uses agape.
  • Gord G 50+

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    May 5 2013: If you're in love it's not definable .
  • May 7 2013: I think love has been very well defined in a book called "Conjugial Love" which name with recent translations has been changed to "Married Love"
    http://sites.google.com/site/liveitupspiritually/home/writings/ConjugialLove.pdf?attredirects=0

    The essence of love is loving others outside of oneself, wishing to be one with them and devoting oneself to their happiness. However, it also has been called a state of insanity :)

    Seems to me that family love has a very different form of attraction than the love for the other sex and (initially) a stranger. So "love at first sight" does not, and should not, happen with relatives :)

    Humans are meant to pro-create since that is the only way a heaven can be created from the human race. This is the best way to start that process. We have all heart that "man are from Mars and women are from Venus" but never what this difference of 'state of mind' is.
    Maybe this will help too
    http://webhome.idirect.com/~abraam/documents/SexandMarriage.pdf
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    May 3 2013: Romantic love is suppossed to be mutual, between lovers; it is hard to explain to someone who is not experiencing or has ever experienced it.
    But it has a peculiar soul tie between lovers, and the sexual attraction is there.
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      May 4 2013: what if it's not mutual ? i mean we could be "romantically" in love with someone but they don't love us back , at least not romantically . should we call it love or stupidity ?!
      • May 6 2013: That's not love then. It's attraction. Love is mutual.
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    May 5 2013: there probably isn't a huge difference. Romantic love often involves sex, which love of your family does not. With romantic love sometimes your lover gives you more praise than other people, and that makes your love grow.
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    May 5 2013: .

    Yes!
    My definition is:
    Romantic symbiosis of parenting, sex-love, marriage, friendship, ....

    (Be Happy Validly, p. 15)
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    R H 30+

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    May 4 2013: "As the harsh scrape of rose petals crossed such perfect skin, as sea-jellies adrift in candled pools we communed with no design. The lyrics of your replies and impassioned cries were sweeter still, while burning dams breaking shells revealed the beasts, so alive and true."... I love my mother too, and my children, but not the same.
  • May 3 2013: No.

    Of course, the answer to this question hinges on "definable." Defining a word means to give it a commonly accepted meaning, shared by nearly all. Experiences are intrinsically individual. Each person's experience of romantic love is unique. So experiences cannot be defined to the same degree that we define a brick or a keyboard. It makes no sense to argue that one person's experience of romantic love does or does not fit some definition. We can write down a definition, but it would not have the same authority as the definition of a brick.
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      May 4 2013: true words ! , but aren't there any common behaviors that come along with romantic love through which we could recognize if it's romantic love or just love ?
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        May 5 2013: .
        Your instinctive feeling of ultra-high accuracy will tell.
  • May 3 2013: They're definitely close. Love is putting someone else's needs above your own. Romantic love basically just is the same thing as familial love (except you choose your partner) with the addition of sexual attraction. It's not magic, luck, or destiny. It's a choice like any other, but maybe the most important decision you'll ever make in your life when you decide to marry someone. It's a beautiful thing, but it takes hard work, sacrifice, and discipline to make it work.
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      May 4 2013: " It's not magic, luck, or destiny. It's a choice like any other "
      how is it a choice ? i mean can we really choose who we fall in love with ?
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        May 5 2013: .
        Yes!
        We can,
        via instinctive data and acquired data in our brain.
      • May 6 2013: Sure you can. It happens differently for everybody, but it's still a choice. You choose to commit or not. You choose to pursue a relationship or not. Love is not something that's found, it's built. What all the movies and music have been feeding the world is a lie. You might not choose initial attraction or sexual attraction, but that's not love. Love is not infatuation or even obsession. Love is a mutual deep trust and openness, a commitment to always mutually support each other. That doesn't come at first sight. That only comes with time, which starts with your decision to try to love that person.