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Why is it so hard for one to open up about an abusive past?

How to you summon the courage to share? What are the reasons that one may keep such terrible things locked inside? How does one overcome this fear of sharing?


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    May 7 2013: The mind protects itself by blocking out things that are painful to remember. To remember the abuse, one cannot disengage the pain. Many people of abuse don't want to remember, so they bury the abuse and develop coping skills to live as if the abuse never happened. In some cases, they become the abuser so they feel in control.
    Don Anderson presents a very good point. You become what other people know about you. People want to present themselves as strong and positive so they hide anything that they perceive as negative.
    Adriaan Braam also presents a very good point. People often feel that they did something to cause the abuse. There is guilt that goes along with the abuse that the person wants to put behind them. Again, they want to forget so they block it out.

    I don't know if you ever overcome the fear of sharing. In a loving environment, a group can reinforce your need to share, but the fear is attached to the pain that you encounter when you choose to share. The group needs to be responsive to that pain in a positive way if they want others to share their story. If the group is not led by someone who understands the dangers of negative feedback, the group will shut down and no one will share. It is important that the group leader is proactive in maintaining a positive environment.

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