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Why is it so hard for one to open up about an abusive past?

How to you summon the courage to share? What are the reasons that one may keep such terrible things locked inside? How does one overcome this fear of sharing?


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    May 2 2013: Sometimes it is not the fear of opening-up and sharing, but instead the fear of being viewed differently.
    Personally I have a disability and once someone finds out about it, often I’m no longer me, I’m the guy with the disability. ”Hi Don, how’s it going” becomes “Hi Don, How are you feeling”, so please if someone shares their past or health issue, don’t change how you think about them or interact with them.
    • May 3 2013: Don, I can imagine how frustrating this is for you. I can relate.
      People have this need to put everyone in a certain category, don't they. Suddenly, your disability becomes your identity.
      My own mistake was that I had become quite good in playing the role of the 'crippled victim', which is what I thought people expected of me (that's my own 'life trap', I over-adjust!) But I agree, prioritizing someone's limitation is not taking them seriously as an individual.
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        May 5 2013: " your disability becomes your identity . "
        true words ! i think this is the main reason why most people don't talk about terrible things locked inside ; nobody likes to be identified as " disable " especially emotionally disable .
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      May 16 2013: Excellent point Don!
      One of the first comments on TED for me, was after watching the Jill Bolte Taylor talk about her stroke, and I mentioned that I had a near fatal head/brain injury years ago. The reason a friend sent me the link to that video is because I had some similar experiences as Jill's.

      Immediately, a couple people started using that against me in their arguments because they said I was obviously brain damaged, crazy etc. etc. TED is the only place I ever ran into that though.

      Luckily, I had been guest lecturing at the university and speaking with various other groups for years, I am pretty clear and confident about myself at this point (the injury was 23 years ago), so the words of someone who is angry and lacks compassion don't bother me. If a person was less secure, however, I imagine it could be challenging.
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      May 17 2013: well said

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