TED Conversations

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The "family" is the most over-rated, hypocritical social structure that we have. The roots of most social ills lie within the family

Inequality, gender bias, favouritism, abuse, fanaticism. White-washing and "fakebooking".
Look closely at your own and say it is free from any or all of this.
Blessed is the person who can put her/his hand on their heart and say - my family is not any of these things.


Closing Statement from Ishika Ghose

The first person who must learn is I myself! Insight.
I must try and learn from this "conversation" how to put my "question/idea" in a way in which most people can understand the question first ---- without taking offence, becoming defensive or analysing my reasons for questioning.

What was also interesting and partly expected were the very very angry responses I had from one of the earlier contributors Edward Long.There were times when I felt I had offended him personally.

The idea per se has not evolved/changed in any way as a result of this conversation.
Perhaps because I was looking for more people who would accept the idea itself rather than ask for solutions simultaneously.

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  • May 1 2013: Rather a dismal idea. The family is composed of people no different from those who are not family, essentially human beings. They are not any different merely because there is a genetic or marriage connection. And these human creatures come in all varieties. Why such an idea needs to be floated is beyond me because you are then questioning the human being itself. Which therefore is a futile proposition. There is an underlying, and I believe an unnecessary, anger which is of your making and you seem to be seeking some sort of solidarity on this forum with your thoughts. What we need today in the world is an acceptance and an understanding that we are all human and we are, more or less, going to be so. Let's then deal with the more important issues - such as how we should sustain our existence and make it a tad more worthwhile.

    PS: I notice you have posted this conversation on Facebook which makes you as human as everyone else who uses it and suffers the denigration of people who sneer at them.
    • May 1 2013: I’m afraid I find your approach bullish and dismissive, and your arguments leading.

      You have not taken into account some very basic academically-accepted sociology concepts such as the difference between nature and nurture, or indeed that all culture is learnt. You are harping on the ‘nature’ aspect which really has nothing to do with the author’s statement. The author is questioning the socialised (i.e., nurtured) ill-effects that stem from the culturally-learnt institution of the family.

      She is not, as you accuse her, questioning human beings. (I assume you meant humanity because your sentence as you have written it is too vague and open-ended). Questioning aspects of humanity is not a futile proposition at all—in fact, it’s called sociology. In any case, questioning these aspects does not make a person angry. That you fault the author for seeking solidarity on this forum while you boorishly rally loudly in the opposite direction would seem the greater crime.

      The fact that she posted on Facebook doesn’t prove anything either. I can speak, but I don’t like certain topics of conversation. Given your logic, I should give up speaking altogether lest I be sneered at.

      I agree with you that we need acceptance in this world. The author is not saying otherwise. But to get there we have to be willing to discuss the notion that certain social institutions that we have been taught to hold in high regard might not be serving all its members justly.
    • May 2 2013: "Why such an idea needs to be floated is beyond me because you are then questioning the human being itself. Which therefore is a futile proposition."

      I strongly disagree with this sentiment. I may be reading into it wrong and in that case my apologies, but questioning the human being itself, the humanity as a whole, and ourselves as human beings is in my eyes perhaps the greatest power the human being possesses.

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