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Ayla Ford

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Does everything that we do in life revolve around finding a mate?

Being a senior in high school, I have observed my actions and the actions of those around me and something interesting has caught my attention. From the very moment we wake till we go to sleep at night we are planning our lives around what appeals to the opposite sex. I was wondering can we move past our animalistic nature and be forward thinking on our own or are we always to be caught in the rut of companionship? I caught myself forming life goals around a man that I have yet to meet, my plans to travel have already been stifled by the notion that in my pursuit of world travel I might miss out on my "one true love."


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    Apr 28 2013: Seeking companionship--following reproductive urges--may be "natural," but in our overpopulated and unsustainable world, it is illogical and irresponsible. Like many before me have said, be true to yourself and your goals, but I urge you. Subordinate your own happiness, and simply aim to brighten the lives of others-- advance scientific, reasoned, moralistic, cooperative, compassionate humanity. Take care of this earth and those who are already struggling among their 7 billion brethren... happiness will find you. Unfortunately, if you are willing to sacrifice a traditional notion of belonging and purposed proliferation for the good of mankind, then I would recommend that you become a parent to pass on such values! Joseph Heller would understand this predicament.
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      Apr 30 2013: [My english speech is bad... Patience]
      [My intention is a Healthy discussion, so, Peace :) ]
      [Please, read it with a relaxed "tone", since reading with angry emotions may project them as mine in your mind]
      Don't think "Seeking Companionship" is just to follow reproductive urges, there is more to it, even if we discard the social thing (what is nearly impossible, since people are molded by it.) there is the somewhat natural human tendency for the companionship need. (Or "empathy" and "rapport" need, if you prefer.)

      Reproduction is illogical? Is it not just your beliefs and feelings speaking? And about "irresponsible", didn't you forgot some premises to be able to state it? Is not it just emotional thinking?
      [Emotional Thinking, a.k.a.: Assume that some thoughts are the absolute truth just because they support your feelings or you think they match them.]

      I do agree with you in the rest (with some reservations (: )
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        May 1 2013: No worries Filipe. I agree, seeking companionship is a beautiful, complex thing. Also, reproduction is definitely logical-- I wish I had been clearer haha! The main point I was trying to make is that we, as a species, are dangerously abundant. I am happy to share the planet with almost every soul that is here now, but I worry that our natural reproductive instincts and personal desires will soon begin to cause more harm than good. That is where the tidbit of illogic, selfishness, and irresponsibility comes into play. By blindly following urges, it seems that we do not pay enough respect to the sustainability of our ecosystem. Also, I am concerned that many people make "finding a mate" their primary goal in life, and I simply prefer that they attempt to advance humanity instead of inflating it!

        Emotion, beliefs, feelings... all undoubtedly involved. But, I hope that you can uncover at least a trace of logic this time around!
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          May 1 2013: Now I can feel the logic! :P

          This things you speak of are consequences of the inefficient way of education and thinking that we are forced into, as well as the "inefficient life" that put people more in "inflating" than in "evolving".

          If we really started to talk deeply about it, at some point it would fall in my favorite discussion, the human mind.
          If you are willing to discuss, I'm here.
          Good Night.
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        May 1 2013: Absolutely, education is vital. Could you clarify what we are forced into? I agree that we inflate and stagnate instead of evolving at times. Human evolution has become much more complex than passing along successful traits. I would be glad to discuss anything-- definitely the human mind.
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          May 1 2013: The inefficient way of education is one.
          The inefficient way of thinking makes two.
          And both are almost the same.

          Our parents, believing that it is the best for us, put us in schools that "kills" the creativity in the students. (Ironically enough, the "failures" are acclaimed as geniuses years later when they use their creativity in a "smart" way.)
          Schools that prioritize our memory, but do not teach us how to efficiently use it.

          There are the "cultural" feelings and thoughts that generates an quite intriguing recurring thought that I often encounter in people I talk to that I baptized "What should I feel now?", and even others.
          The way we live made our emotions uncalibrated, or, in a more specific way, created patterns of thinking that make our emotions rise when they should not. (Like be angry at something that does not affect [in a dangerous way] you, but you think it does, maybe it does in a way, but that way bothers you? why? Most would not accept their own answers, because they know it is not really right.)

          With the Snowball effect, these misfitted and inefficient thoughts just stack up, since people run away from "incongruities" within their own minds. (Thanks to the same thoughts.)

          There are too experiences that generate feelings that act like a filter to the thoughts and the perception, a really good example is "vengeful people", EVERYTHING in their lives is to get their revenge, they "miss" a lot of other things because everything pass through this filter.

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