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Danger Lampost

Futurist & Technology Consultant,

TEDCRED 20+

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Why did you get married?

I have been conducting an unofficial, personal poll since 1980 of many people who have gotten married, and I ask them why they got married. I am fascinated to hear the range of responses I have gotten and I think it reveals much about our different societies.

Instead of revealing any of the answers I've gotten over the decades, I'll give you my own personal reasons, and ask you to offer your own reasons for getting married. Usually the way I ask this question of someone who is about to get married is as follows:

"You are about to get married. May I ask why you are getting married, as opposed to continuing your relationship as you have without getting married?"

Here are my own answers:

First wife: I'm getting married because I think that's the best way to have children in our Western culture.

Second wife: I'm getting married because it's much easier to go through the world as husband and wife, than as boyfriend and girlfriend, or whatever funny sounding alternative names you want to come up with. Lover? Partner? No, that has a different meaning.

So come on now, give it up - what were your personal reasons for getting married, at the time you got married. Bonus points for the perspective years have given you into your original motivations!

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    Apr 17 2013: I married because of pressure from my parents; I was a single parent of a child from a failed relationship; I was 29 and living with my future husband; we lived 3 years together before getting married; the pressure from my parents was constant from fear that I could end up with another child out of wedlock so when we graduated from college and time came to find jobs and establish a place to live we got married. I thought all our life together that we were not fit for each other but we didn't give up for a long time; we ended up divorcing in the 19th year.

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