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The more effort you make, feel better on the work; The more effort you make, feel worse in the love.

Motivation and the labor you made in the work is as important as in the love. You try your best in the love, do everything you could for making your girlfriend or boyfriend happy. Yes you are right, but unfortunately maybe in your girlfriend's or boyfriend's eyes, he/she could get hold of you easily, they needn't do something to keep this relationship. Just like IKEA example, people don‘t treasure what is not their own. People treasure what created and laboured hard by their own. The one who pay more in love always be the loser. So the more effort you make, the worse relationship you get. Of course I am not telling you pay less in the love. What we need is a balance. Both sides should make effort to keep this relationship. Only in this way, they could have a happy ending.

What do you think?

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    Apr 13 2013: It depends on the two lovers. Are they really in love or are they just playing romantic games?
    Love is all about giving your best, going the extra mile, not holding anything back.
    In fact, whatever you are doing for that special person shouldn't even seem like an effort.
    But I guess the problem comes when one person is sincerely (truly and deeply) in love and the other person is just taking advantage of the sincerity.

    When two people are sincerely in love: now that is SOMETHING.
    • Apr 14 2013: Nice, but it is hard to find true love. We will be hurt deeply many times before finding the true love. This process is painful and we don't know could we find the true love in the end.
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        Apr 14 2013: It starts with us. If we truly know what we are looking for, we will know when it is found.
  • Apr 16 2013: As a woman I disagree - for a man to appreciate something - to value something it is essential that he have to work for it so invest in it - a relationship with a woman is the same thing. When you speak of "effort" the worse it is in love I suspect the effort is more about trying to make something work or to love at all costs versus remaining your own person and making yourself a valued partner by being authentic and awesome. Choosing the right kind of woman is also essential. Use the other head. Sorry - but it needed to be said. I wish you love in your life :-)
    • Apr 16 2013: Thank you. I agree with you that everyone need make effort to become a valued partner. People must love themselves firstly, then they could be loved by others. Love myself means have a better body, a good job, some active hobbies etc. You have responsibility to become better and better both in love and out of love. Being better is the best preparation for love. Once you meet you love, being better is also your goals. Only in this way, can we feel happy not only from our partner but also, more important, from ourselves.

      So I agree with you that we need make some effort to become better.

      And thanks for your wish. I am only a 23-year postgraduate student in China, I wish I could love my life as well. And with you happy every day.
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    Apr 15 2013: Are you familiar with the Russian classic poetic novel "Eugene Onegin" by Alexander Pushkin?
    This is one of the themes in the novel.

    "Чем меньше женщину мы любим,
    Тем легче нравимся мы ей
    И тем ее вернее губим
    Средь обольстительных сетей."

    "The less we love a woman,
    the easier she likes us,
    and the more sure she will come to ruin
    amid the seductive nets."

    That's my literal translation. Here is a poetic one by Ch. Johnston.

    With womankind, the less we love them,
    the easier they become to charm,
    the tighter we can stretch above them
    enticing nets to do them harm.

    There is also an opera by Tchaikovski after this novel.
    I'm sure, it's impossible to translate Pushkin into English adequately.
  • Apr 14 2013: You make very fine points and I like to few things:
    Love can be complex to know but if you understand the true principles of how and even why, then it starts to make a lot sense and it can lead to abundant or prosperous flow, and I don't mean to sound greedy or anything but people may tend to think that living truely holy means something to like rid all of your possions and live off the Himalayas or even just stay poor for the rest of your life to abstain from material world, so ya ok somethings are beyond from being sensible, illogical, or like "why my phone won't turn on", but to make great things happen you gotta be on edge or
    Make intangibles to make tangibles even if it is something that is totally against you or for the world, which is sensible
    So to answer you're question: I would serve yourself, partner(boyfriend/girlfriend), parent, and finally public (friends, world causes, or anything thats outside your house) because no sucess outside the home, can compensate for the failure inside the Home
    BTW all the stuff said here is from a seminar at Higher Laws, so go to for more info
    • Apr 14 2013: Hi David, thank you very much, I like this sentence: no sucess outside the home, can compensate for the failure inside the Home!!!
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    Apr 14 2013: .My answer:
    You are right.
    “What we need is a balance”.

    It is the Optimal Point of a thing to a person.

    (For details, see the 1st article, point 10, at
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    Apr 12 2013: You are correct, but I don't know why.
    • Yue Sun

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      Apr 13 2013: Because people treasure what they make effort in, but not what they got easily.