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angela anima-korang

Graduate Research Assistant, Southern Illinois University Carbondale

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How do we deal with the culture of criticism, especially at schools, work, and in our private lives?

When do we learn that in most cases, what others think of us is just a reflection on their character and not on us? When do we accept that we are who we are and that our self-esteem is based on how we see ourselves, and should not be on how others see us?


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    Mar 28 2013: I have the opportunity to review papers that are written by high school seniors ... to be honest most of them are really bad.

    You really have two questions 1) school and work and 2) private lives. To be honest that line is becoming very blurred. When I went to school a teacher could tell me my worked was poor and give me a "F" and fail to promote. Today in education I see the parents and students as being much more sensitative to any negative feedback. Teachers and administrators are looking for way to "pass" students that need to be held back. Universities are holding classes for students that were not prepared to enter college. In the last ten years we have observed the dumbing down of America. In the military we are required to accept 100,000 "unqualified" enlistees into each branch. These people usually do not live up to the low standards they have set for themselves.

    At some time we all work with someone who is unjust in their assessment and makes uncalled for remarks. However, these reflect on them not on us ... we can learn and grow from the experience ... or we can start to die from within. Education gives us more tools to deal with these situations than the "person on the street" has access to.

    I do not advocate taking "crap" from these people ... but there are occassions that we must focus on the goal. There are proper channels to deal with abusive supervisors / administrators / etc ... Fight the fights you can win and pray that you can tell the diffrerence. Although you may win some small fights the war will be won on long range objectives and goals because the pen is really mightier than the sword.

    I have had three jobs and retired from all three and can tell you that there are people who are aware of the "bad luggage" and can spot the "up and coming".

    However, grads from Ill State Normal are better than SIU grads. Gotcha.

    I wish you well. Bob.
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      Mar 28 2013: I've certainly enjoyed reading your comment, Robert! Undergraduate education, getting kids to actually learn and how to give them constructive criticism came up in a class discussion last night actually, so I think I might know where you're coming from. It is important, like you said, to be able to tell apart the kind of feedback that helps us and the kind that tends to take away our will power and cripple us, totally contrary to what constructive criticism is all about. Thanks!

      And oh yes, I see what you did there: "However, grads from Ill State Normal are better than SIU grads. Gotcha." I think you know what I am going to say to that -- SIU grads are the best!

      Best wishes to you too, Bob.
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        Mar 30 2013: Angela, I do appreciate your school loyality ... and applaud it but I applaud the under dog in most all things ... so here is to the runner-up Yeah SIU.

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