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How can you save a person who does not want to be saved or does not see the need to be saved?

Think you have a friend who has had a big problem for a while already. Be it drug addiction, depression, or any major problem you can think of. Many people have tried to talk to him/her and find solutions. Either he does not care, does not understand he is in trouble or does not see a point for him to get better and thus does nothing or even gets worse by the day. You see him wither away.

If you know for sure his life would be better if he acted differently how can you "force" a person to get better? ( If it is even possible).

Then you can also think this on a broader scale. I talked to few experts on health care field that what if there would be a place where people could be taken or could go in to voluntarily that is focused only to get people back to their feet in much more comprehensive way than anything there is today.

For example, a homeless person who used to have a good life is now in ruins and in brink of death. Suddenly men in white outfits come pick him up take him to a facility where he gets a normal day routine, exercise and counseling and all. After a year he is a changed man and thanks from the bottom of his heart that he was kind of forced to do a life change.(Someone who thinks this cost too much money can think now the person is a fully functioning member of society and can even pay a bit back from the work he will get, and personally I think its not even right to put a price tag for peoples lives).

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    Mar 25 2013: It is good to have good intentions; but when it comes to people's personal choices and decisions, we may not be as powerful as we want to be or think we should be.
    It is simple; we can only try our best. We've all had those times when we feel like saving the world and solving the problems of others who seem to be either too foolish or too ignorant to help themselves.
    But we are not angels or magicians or superman or wonderwoman.
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    Mar 29 2013: One of our biggest problems, in life, in relationships, is thinking we can change others just by our force of will, or because we are right. Trust me, for a person to change, they need to want to. Not for others, for family, but for themselves. It is also easier to change when you have people in your life supporting you through the difficulties they will experience as they change their lives. Often, the block is a person negative thought patterns. If someone wants to change, the most effective form of treatment from the psychological point of view is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. This is a form of therapy that does focus on everything the person has been through, but focuses on the thoughts they have when they are feeling depressed, sad, obsessive, anxious, craving etc, and helps people to challenge these thoughts and habitual ways of thinking. It works drastically. I have seen the extraordinary results.
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    Mar 26 2013: Kalle,
    Decisions to change one's life situation works better when it comes from the individual, and trying to force someone to change does not usually work.

    That being said, there is a method called "intervention", that has been somewhat successfull on some levels. With this practice, those who love and care about the person gather together, meet and discuss the situation, and determine how they can help. Sometimes there is a written ultimatum (which sometimes serves to "force" the issue). The individuals, as part of the supportive group, take appropeiate steps to support and encourage the person through the process, which may be directed by a professional or not.

    Generally, if a person is in the condition you describe, s/he may be lacking confidence, so one of the best things we can do, is try our best to build self esteem and confidence.
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    Gail .

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    Mar 25 2013: I don't think it's right to put a price tag on peoples' lives either, nor do I think it's right to protect a man from himself.

    Our culture that loves money to the exclusion of humanity caused the homelessness and ruin in the first place by making money its god. Let's replace our social glue (money) with another that is more sane, gentle, loving, giving, and caring. Then we will not have to enslave people for their own good.

    The gift economy.
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    Mar 25 2013: Great question, kalle. If you want to add more time to it, hit "edit" and add more.
  • Mar 24 2013: You could force somebody into a situation and its not always bad. Take Yorkey Mananter for example. He was forced to go to music practice everyday, he hated it but he was not disrespectful to his parents so he did what he was told. Today he travels the world playing at professional jazz venues and wouldn't trade it for the world. Its a bit anarchist but even anarchy has its place. Brit he was a child and your friends an adult its worth a shot but unless they do daily steps to change relapse is inevitable.
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    Mar 26 2013: Life is a like a sea wave with up's and down's but the wave pattern never changes.

    People with problems end up in deadlock situation where they think only about the same problem again and again. Friend is a powerful relationship who are flexible when you are angry and when you are happy so you friends and relatives can bring in change in life. Moreover it is important to earn more people in life so that you can rest in their arms during your problematic period. But we will realize only after the problem arises.

    1. Keep talking to the person that he is right always. 2. Be with him/her for some days. 3. Take him to meet very high profile people around the city. 4. Keep telling about his future goals and where you see him in life. 5. If he is not married then tell about family life and if problem is his family life then tell him about the love for kids. 6. Create diversion in life.
  • Mar 26 2013: Freedom is dangerous, but it also has tremendous potential. My experience had been that people who are content with terrible circumstances most need people who care for and love them in a consistent and unconditional way. I don't recommend trying to "fix" people, but often if you are around enough and care enough their situation can't be ignored and your caring about them, helps them to care about them. I've also found that it's most effective to not be caring for someone if you're really trying to inspire change. Being cared about is more important than being cared for in the long run.
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    Mar 26 2013: Speaking of homeless person, the other day a guy was walking up to cars at a light asking for money. I looked and realized that I had none, and I told him so. I wanted to help him in some fashion as Dallas has a fair number of homeless and I had seen him there before. "Sorry" I said "I don't have any money." thinking I should make sure to carry cash from time to time.
    "I hope you die!" he said to me.
    Sometimes we see someone who probably could use our help, however it doesn't mean they want or will accept anything more or less than a buck. Is that help? I don't really know. Does he need to be "saved". Perhaps from the next person he says that to.
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    Mar 25 2013: I would say you cannot generalize. What might help one person might be the wrong strategy with another.

    Is this question coming from a situation in your life? Someone you know who isn't doing well? Perhaps you could describe the situation and TED people will offer some help.