TED Conversations

Mathew Naismith

TEDCRED 10+

This conversation is closed. Start a new conversation
or join one »

Passing the buck: Do we all pass the buck at one time or another?

This is actually in reference to conversations either one on one or over the net like through sites like Ted to do with how we react to each other, when we cross swords or butt heads together is it our doing or is it the person we are in conversation with as some disagreements can get out of hand? I think it’s ours!!

0
Share:

Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.

  • thumb
    Mar 21 2013: Hi Mathew, thought this talk might be relevant to post here

    http://www.ted.com/talks/margaret_heffernan_dare_to_disagree.html

    She talks about a need for disagreement in order to really progress with business, inventions, etc. I feel real healthy mature debate would stretch our limited world views and be healthy whether it be here at TED or in our personal relationships, workplaces, etc

    Passing the buck is just another way to avoid responsibility or debate, try embracing it?
    • thumb
      Mar 21 2013: G’day Kate

      Having a healthy mature debate that is constructive is a good thing especially in disagreement, my whole blog is full of opposing views, but when it becomes destructive that is when we start looking at each other blaming each for the discussion becoming so destructive, this is buck passing & the reason I think we do this is so we don’t have to look at our own short falls during the discussion which usually relates to the ego &/or self-esteem or lack of.

      Love
      Mathew
      • thumb
        Mar 21 2013: Agree Mathew it can be linked in part to ego or self worth but I think that all too often we believe our point of view is the right one. And if you disagree with that then I argue to not only defend my viewpoint but more like i am attempting to convert you to my stance.

        In that we invest way too much in being right and expect the rest of the world to agree with us. A bit like the mentality 'if you're not for me you're against me'? And this is how it degenerates into destructiveness because neither are able to hear the others point of view anymore. It's like we so strongly identify with our viewpoint that there seems little room to negotiate.

        Or we feel very threatened when someone with another viewpoint is better at articulating their view and we feel our argument is crumbling so we get defensive rather than seeing it as the ideal opportunity to sharpen our wits; hone our ideas; learn to articulate more clearly and concisely.

        Am I making sense, not sure I'm putting this forward clearly?
        • thumb
          Mar 21 2013: G'day Kate

          I would have to agree with you or am I more right than you...but of course I am what else!!!

          Yes we do think we are right even when proven wrong within a discussion but think about this, if we didn’t have an ego we wouldn't get into a hostile argument it just wouldn't happen however we do & we do allow the ego to take control over our rationality at times but of course if we weren’t so right in the first place the ego wouldn’t come into play, interesting stuff.

          Love
          Mathew
      • thumb
        Mar 21 2013: Guess I'll just have to get a bit more egotistical. Must admit that I tend to absence myself once I realise someone is not able to share a rational dialogue anymore! Or their ego inflates too fully so that reason is lost.
        • thumb
          Mar 22 2013: G'day Kate

          I actually make my presents more known if it's something important to me & someone is being unruly subjective in some way, I take certain discussion probably too serious plus my ego no doubt plays a part as well in my own indiscretions.

          In saying this I have also been known to be a little absence myself but usually not before I voiced my objections.

          Love
          Mathew

Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.